Daniel Hawley's Delusion's

Sometimes, our fears are based on a truth. Other times, they are the truth.

Savannah Shores Mental Hospice
Patient File
Section 9: Physician's Log

Name: Daniel Vincent Hawley
DOB: 01/13/1959
Age: 44    Height: 73"    Weight: 206
Hair Color: Black w/ Grey    Eyes: Green
Date of Admittance: 06/21/2003
Attending Physician: Dr. Steven J. Waldrop, M.D.

Patient Interview 06/24/2003:  Initial interview was uneventful.  Patient presented himself much more composed than when he was received.  Understandably detached, Patient offered no real insight to his presence here.  Most responses were not deemed pertinent to record; subsequently they have been omitted.  The only curious statement made was at the conclusion of our interview.  In reply to my offering that we had plenty of time to get to know each other, Patient answered, "There may be a little, but not much."
    For the record, Patient was transferred from Columbia Regional Hospital, through an associate of mine, by air and sedated due to a panic induced hysteria.  Initial diagnosis as reported to me was a case of schizophrenic paranoia compounding a preexisting, extreme myrmecophobia.  Our medical staff have assured me that our Patient's injuries will heal normally and are nothing more than superficial contusions, abrasions, and lacerations.  **Please see Medical record attached in Section 6 for full disclosure.  My associate at Colombia was equally confused and forwarded the attached police statement regarding the Patient's incident.  
End of Report

Crestwood Police Department
Statement of Record

Case Reference No: 03-170.3
Reporting Official: Sgt Duane R. Cummings

Text:  At approximately 1847 on Friday 19 June 2003, I was dispatched from my patrol to 5413 Dulcimer Lane in response to a structural collapse at the residence.  Upon arrival, I took charge from Officers Billings and Jacobs, who were first on scene.  Truck 12 and paramedics were on scene as well.  Due to the integrity of the residence, which was still falling to pieces, we were unable to immediately determine if any occupants were still inside.
    Mr. Hawley made contact with us very unusually.  Truck 12 was spraying preemptively for possible fire containment when the above stated individual crawled from the rubble.  He appeared minimally injured from my perspective but I thought he might have been covered in some sort of black substance.  He was hitting himself fervently, trying to get whatever it was off him.  He ran into the path of the fire house without regard for the force of the water.  He ignored all calls and repeatedly moved back into the path of the water, to the frustration of the fire department.
    It was then that Cpl Jacobs tackled Mr. Hawley with a blanket and forcibly drug him away from the house and out of danger.  Apparently not realizing this, Mr. Hawley continued to resist and brush some invisible thing from his body.  He was nearly naked except for a few thin tatters of a shirt and pants that hung loosely.  During this time, he repeated the following, "Get them off!  Get them off!"  He would not answer any more questions until the paramedics succeeded in calming him down.
    Once they patched him up, I attempted to question Mr. Hawley on the circumstances regarding the residence with mixed results.  He claimed to be the owner of the property.  When asked whether there were any others inside, he broke down in tears saying that we wouldn't find them.  "They've already been eaten."  I clearly remember that statement and I immediately sent Billings and Jacobs to do a hasty search of the debris.  They did find personal effects belonging to women and children, however nothing to suggest they were inside were immediately found.  When asked about what he meant by his statement, Mr. Hawley showed disbelief and responded with, "Didn't you see them?  The ants.  They were everywhere."
    This statement led to suspicions of mental incapacity as well as the filing of Missing Persons Report 03-170.4.  I asked Cpl Jacobs if he had seen any of the purported "ants".  He said that it looked like Mr. Hawley had fallen in a nest when he came out of the house but there were none in the debris.  He added that there appeared to be extensive termite damage throughout the house but wasn't entirely sure without professional opinion.  Mr. Hawley was listed as a Person of Interest in the previously stated case and was advised to remain available for further questioning.  NFTR

Physician's Comments:  This incident was indeed a trigger the Patient's paranoia, however I believe there is another underlying catalyst for the source of his phobia.  I have spoken with Sgt Cummings on the matter as it pertains to the Patient's mental state and concur with the officer in that there has yet to be any corroborating evidence that would add credibility to the Patient's statements.  I have informed the Patient, through the request of the Crestwood PD, that any information regarding his family does not fall within Doctor/Patient Confidentiality due to the ongoing investigation.  Patient understands and accepts the Hospice's standpoint on the matter. 
End of Report

Patient Interview, 06/27/2003:  Patient is still detached and yielding little information.  He seems on edge and occasionally swipes at what I suspect are the imaginary ants.  He asked if the the Hospice employs exterminators.  I entertained his question as a sign of openness with an affirmative response and he seemed to relax a little.  Though he remained watchful and leery around my office. 
End of Report

Patient Interview, 06/30/2003:  Patient is conducting himself accordingly and beyond his phobia and paranoia thereof, I've witnessed no other mental setbacks.  He believes his family to be dead, which is disheartening, and he remains a Person of Interest to the Crestwood PD. 
End of Report

Staff Observation Report
Filed By: Rosalita Munoz
Date: 07/06/2003

    At the request of Dr. Waldrop, I am submitting the following report.  I run the Art Therapy class that the Patient attends.  It is designed for those such as he in order to disassociate themselves from their fears in a safe environment.  The patient had not seriously participated since his arrival leading up to the weekend of July 4th.  Before leaving for the long weekend, I personally asked him to draw a picture during the holiday while no one was watching.  I felt it as a halfhearted attempt because I wasn't expecting him to reciprocate.  When I came back though, there was a hideous drawing of an ant sitting on my desk.  The Patient is not an artist by any means, but I think that added to the grotesque nature of the picture.
    Its jaws were as big as its head and looked jagged and sharp.  The eyes were blood red and pure evil.  The six legs were long and sprawled out to the sides.  Its thorax was pointed upwards, not like any ant I've seen around here.  It was all black except for the end half of the thorax, which was a deep red like the eyes.
    I asked the significance of the particular bug and he said, "That's what got them."  He would not say anymore about the picture.  As with all our patients' artwork, we destroyed it as a way of visualizing the separation of fear.  He was not relieved by this as some patients have been and said, "They're still coming."  Not being keen on the particulars of his case, I passed this information to Dr. Waldrop.

Physician's Comments:  I forwarded this information hesitantly only for the relation to the Patient's missing family.  Sgt Cummings shares the same regards mental incapacity and was as of yet unable to provide any further insight in the police investigation as it relates to our work here. 
End of Report

Patient Interview, 07/08/2003:  Questioning was more directed at the Patient's fear of ants.  He would not offer a rational explanation or allusion to the source of the fear at first.  He did, however, say that I would not believe him even if he told me, a common barrier put up by patients.  I replied that is not my job to believe or not believe, rather to help them see through the perception of their reality.  That opened a door.  We went through a series of slides showing different species of ants provided by an entomologist associate of mine.  None were an exact match to his description although his body language reacted to a few Middle East ants and African Soldier ant varieties.  Curious.
    When asked about the physical differences, the Patient said that they range from dime to quarter size.  Due to a current lack of entomological knowledge, I will have to consult my associate on this matter.  The red tip, he said, actually fluctuates from white to red depending on their level of aggression.  I quote, "They only turn red when they come after you."  Further signs of schizophrenic paranoia.  I will though, conduct due diligence to show that Patient that this type of ant either isn't the threat he imagines it to be or doesn't exist altogether. 
End of Report

Physician's Entry, 07/10/2003:  Nurse's station reported Patient to have broken down emotionally overnight, apparently mourning his family and apologizing to them.  I will cancel our interview for the 11th and resume on the 14th.  Hopefully, Patient will see the importance of closure and will be more forthcoming to therapy. 
End of Report

Physician's Entry, 07/13/2003:  A productive day in my preparations for tomorrow's interview.  First, my entomologist associate responded to my inquiries with expected results.  The description I provided to him matched no known species, living or extinct.  The traits, as reported, were a mix of various species or made up entirely.  This information raises suspicion that the Patient has possibly fabricated this threat with some prior knowledge on the subject.  What would cause this manifestation?  
    Secondly, disturbing information from Sgt Cummings regarding the Patient's past has arisen.  The information relayed to me concerns a similar missing person case from September 2002 out of San Luis Obispo, California.  The Patient was allegedly a general contractor working on a subdivision development project when an incident occurred that resulted in the disappearance of a migrant worker from the work site.  I was not privy to the more particular details of the investigation as it is still ongoing.  Also according to Sgt Cummings, the Patient relocated to his current residence not even two weeks after the incident occurred.  Similarly, he is still regarded as a Person of Interest although there has been no effort to sequester the Patient for questioning after his relocation.  
    What little that was passed to me has raised many more questions and avenues of approach.  Two glaring possibilities that seem the logical convention are forming as I go over the information.  One is a mental breakdown stemming from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to which the source is still unknown.  The second is that we are dealing with a possibly disturbed criminal mind using this phobia consciously or subconsciously as a cover for nefarious activities.  Curious.  I have my work cut out for me tomorrow. 
End of Report

Patient Interview, 07/14/2003:  Patient was extremely troubled by the subject of his past in San Luis Obispo.  His attitude sounded defeated which did not seem consistent with a criminally psychotic diagnosis.  He acknowledged the work he was doing at that time and went into further detail.  I afterward believed this to be the source of some mental trauma though as to what degree, I am still unsure.  The following is quoted from recorded transcripts.
    "I didn't think there was anything to worry about, no one did.  The developer had to buy a portion of land from the neighboring farm for the projected layout of the property.  That wasn't my purview because I didn't come on the job until the build was given the green light.  This is all hearsay even when I got there back in late 2001, November I think.  Well apparently, the deal ended up being dirt cheap.  The owner damn near paid the developer to get rid of it.  Rumor has it that he kept losing cattle on that tract of land and it was costing him too much money.  The fence nearly put him under.  He couldn't, or wouldn't, explain the cause of it.  No one ever knew why.  Sounds like a case of the rumor mill trying to stir up stories right?  We all thought so.  So we had been building almost a year by September and I was overseeing the new construction on that piece of land.  The treatment was going really smooth and I think everyone had forgotten about those stories.  That day we were installing a septic tank for one of the last houses to go up and I was supervising the job.  Ricardo Montanez was operating the back hoe and he hits this giant underground ant hill.  I've been doing this stuff for over 20 years and I never seen something that big.  They pour out, the ants, and it was like a, I dunno, like a busted water main of black and red.  You couldn't really seen individual ants, there were so many.  And oh, were the big ones too.  They just kept coming out of that hole,; there was no telling how extensive that thing was.
    "For a little bit, we didn't think anything of it.  We stomped a few and Ricardo kept digging.  Then they started chewing.  I'm telling you Doc, they started eating the back hoe like it was made of bread crumbs.  You could hear them there were so many.  Ricardo tried to get out but he didn't have a chance.  They were on him almost instantly.  He screamed for a few seconds and then nothing.  No one could do anything; we just watched.  The police were called and by the time they showed up, there wasn't much left for them to take away.  So we sat there and they watched every last piece of him get eaten until there was nothing left, not even a blood stain.  It was like he was never there.  How could we explain it?  The cops there were even stunned.  So the missing person report was made.  We didn't know what else to do.  So I grabbed a gas can we had for the generator, poked holes in it, and rolled it into the hole.  That really pissed them off.  I threw a lighter in after it and the whole nest went up.  We spent the next few hours killing them with shovels, more gas, and pretty much anything we could get.  It was almost sundown when we finally got the last of them.  We threw the septic tank in and sealed the hole.
    "I thought that was the end of it.  The police filed some vague reports and sent it to the cold case files.  No one would miss a migrant worker right?  Well, maybe a week later, give or take a few days, I'm outside checking the mail.  I happen to look down and there is this single file line of b******s walking down the sidewalk.  Their a*s-ends were white then but I knew it was them.  One of them stops and turns toward me and I swear he's recognized me because his a*s-end turns red right then.  The others stop, their asses turn red, and they start coming after me!
    "I'm telling you Doc, they had a score to settle.  We killed a whole lot of them and they were out for blood.  I wasn't about to sit around for the show either.  I emptied every can of Raid I had around the house, called a moving van, and we were out of there that night.  We stayed in a hotel and left the next morning and didn't stop until we hit the East Coast.  Again, I thought that was the last of it.  I dunno Doc, I dunno..."
    Patient's recollection seemed vivid and sincere although totally incredulous and indicative of a conscious veil to hide sinister motives.  I no longer feel safe in the room with him even though he has shown no violent tendencies.  Maybe some negative influence is required to initiate sinister motives.  I have placed the Patient on Security Watch Level II.  His current nonviolent behavior is the only factor in not elevating him to a Level I Threat.  I have informed Crestwood PD on my hypothesis.  Will engage further on finding similarities between these two events.  There may be more to uncover from his past than he is letting on.  It will be interesting to profile his mind to see how he came to this juncture. 
End of Report 

Physician's Entry, 07/15/2003: Patient responded negatively to the security increase, becoming belligerent to which I have not seen to this point.  I had delayed upgrading him to Level I, although after this evening's incident, I have no choice.
    After lights out at 9:00pm, the Patient became unruly which started affecting nearby patients.  He asserted that the ants were here and he could hear them chewing through the walls.  In utilizing fear as a contagion, the other patients also joined in with his claims, taking several staff to calm them down.  A few needed sedation.  The Patient himself became so aggressive that he was restrained, sedated, and moved to a single occupancy room down the hall.  Patient will be billed for the damage to the room. 
End of Report

Physician's Entry, 07/16/2003:  By a woeful oversight on the part of the the Hospice staff, including myself, the Patient's concerns, misplaced though they were, were not entirely superfluous.  Repairs being conducted on the Patient's room revealed extensive termite damage that extended down the hall to our single occupancy rooms.  The damage is so severe that we are currently relocating to our sister hospice, Hampton Creek, until the repairs can be made.  This building is close to 80 years old.  It seems that it was only a matter of time for this to happen.  The Patient was shown this damage as physical proof that this manifestation was of an exaggerated perception.  He was undeterred.
    The Patient is defiant in his persuasion that he is being targeted by these ants and keeps asking why the exterminator did not discover any damage during previous inspections.  The answer to which alludes myself as the last inspection three months ago did not reveal any damage.  For the record and to alleviate the Patient's concerns, the Board has opted to secure the services of a different exterminator. 
End of Report

Patient Interview, 07/21/2003:  Patient has not displayed violent behavior since being transferred to Hampton Creek.  He did request a single occupancy room in the center most part of the building, which was granted considering his last violent outburst.  He says he has not heard the ants in the walls but assures me that they will arrive within the next week.  When asked how he can place a time estimate, he replied quite depressed.  Quote taken from recorded transcript.
    "Doc, it took about a week for them to get from the construction site to my house in San Luis Obispo.  It took nine months to get from there to Columbia, not even two days for the hospital, and just under a month to get to Savannah.  Hampton Creek is about the same distance that my house was in California.  They are coming, Doc, right now!  And pretty soon, they will get their vengeance out of my blood."
    "Why do you think so?  By that I mean, what do you believe it is that drives their emphasis of revenge or vengeance?" (Myself)
    "I don't know, Doc.  It's just what they do.  You attack them, they attack you.  You destroy their home, they destroy yours.  Go after their family, they go after yours.  Kill them, and they kill you.  It's an eye for an eye.  They don't accept surrender or give mercy.
    "I'll tell you this now.  Not that it will do any good because I can see your opinion of me on your face.  You think I'm a deranged murderer or something.  I won't tell you what to think but just listen and I'll be through.  I don't half believe it myself but here goes.  When they came for me in Columbia, I was oblivious at first.  I thought there were termites in the house.  It was a logical thought.  I mean who would think that a colony of ants would travel cross country?  Then they came out of nowhere and everywhere.  It's a sound that's unlike any other.  Like a constant drone.  You can't hear termites, not like this.  I was sitting in my chair in the living room and I could hear them as plain as day.  I'd recognize that sound every time now.  Well, they came in wave after wave.  Never stopping.  We were trapped in the hallway and they separated me from Janet and the kids.  A wall of ants built themselves between us all the while millions more were tearing the house down.  They started biting me as I tried to push through.  It was useless.  I've never felt more helpless in front of something so trivial as an ant before.
    "So I give up.  I sit down on my knees and wait for it to be over.  I can hear them screaming behind me and there is nothing I can do.  Then, a bunch of ants start pouring in front of me and pile on top of themselves.  It's hard to describe something you've never seen before.  I watched them mount themselves and construct a chair and then a life size figure of a man sitting on it.  As unbelievable as that was, it pales in comparison to what happened next.  This conglomeration of ants shaped as a man sitting in this ant chair spoke.  Well, it didn't speak, but millions of ants made noises that formed words and sentences.  It said, 'We have come to take that which was taken from us.  Your family and your home.'
    "The screams, their screams, changed.  It's the sound of pain and agony that you never want to hear come from your family.  And the sound of the gnashing, wet and oh my god...  (The Patient vomits in a trash and and takes a few moments to compose himself.)  I'm sorry, Doc.  So, the house started collapsing and I was in shock.  Fear, anger, grief, despair.  I was so many levels of emotion all at once.  The screaming stopped; I knew they were dead.  Then I snapped.  I lunged at the man figure and went through it.  They were everywhere and smashed and stomped furiously to take as many of them with me as possible before they got to me.  I was lucky that I had still had on long sleeves and pants.  Those slowed them down somewhat before they could get to the majority of my skin.  It was the fire department that got me out of there just in time.  I had made it to the where the living room was supposed to be when they started hosing the place.  That got rid of a lot of them although I still had quite a few on me which got taken care of in the water once I made it out.
    "You know the rest, Doc.  I'm not sure you understand and frankly, I don't care at this point.  It's useless to run.  No matter where I go, they will eventually find me.  Don't look at me like that!!  These ants have a collective intelligence.  Sure, one ant by itself has its one and only job which is simple, vague, and unnecessary on the surface.  It lacks the cognitive awareness that you and I are accustomed to.  It has its job and that is its sole purpose for living.  It will do that job until it either dies or gets a new purpose.  Now you take 10 million, no, 10 billion ants putting their jobs, their purposes in the mix with every other ant?  That gives you a collective social structure capable of decision making, thought processes, and reasoning.  I don't know how else to put it.  Every ant in this colony both controls and is controlled by the overarching purpose of the colony's collective intelligence.  They operate under one mind, one opinion, one set of rules that never change.
    "That's all I have to say, Doc.  I know you don't believe me.  It's ok.  I think it's better that you don't.  It will make it easier for them once they get here and cause less trouble for you.  I think if you did try to stop them, you would only put yourself in danger and possibly those around you.  I'll stick to my room and keep to myself.  I won't talk to you again except to let you know when they get here.  I don't know how much damage they will cause to get to me."
    A curious account indeed.  I'm not sure how to proceed after today's interview.  The first course is to relay this information to Sgt Cummings and inquire again with my entomologist associate.  Perhaps, I was wrong in my previous leanings.  Today uncovered delusional aspects to the Patient's paranoia.  I will see if I can uncover an earlier history, possibly through hypnosis, to find the source of the Patient's PTSD and subsequent episodes.  I have lowered him to Security Watch List Level III as I still think he is capable of harming himself and others.  There is much more going on than just a homicidal psychopath or paranoid schizophrenic.  He exhibits symptoms of one just as easily as the other.  They may be one in the same condition.  Our next interview is scheduled for the 23rd. 
End of Report

Physician's Entry, 07/22/2003:  Met with dead ends.  My associate still remains firmly grounded on the nonexistence of this species of ant but was personally interested in the social structure analysis of the perceived colony.  He admittedly agreed that the fabrication was detailed beyond common knowledge which possibly indicates a natural inclination towards the insect.  A possible manifestation of the Patient's perception of his place in society?
    I was unable to contact Sgt Cummings due to an absence from Crestwood PD.
End of Report

Patient Interview, 07/23/2003:  Patient was true to his word and our session lasted twenty minutes before I adjourned.  He sat expressionless and didn't say a word. 
End of Report

Physician's Entry, 07/24/2003:  I was given a very abrupt and stern message when trying to contact Sgt Cummings that I feel is pertinent to the Patient's file.  I was transferred to a Lt William Feldman who informed me that the good Sgt had been reassigned and that the Crestwood PD was no longer pursuing information on the case in question.  He, in fact, advised me to not contact the office again on the matter.  Very peculiar. 
End of Report

Physician's Entry, 07/29/2003:  As promised, the Patient informed me that the ants had arrived as he could hear them through the walls.  I asked him to entertain me and I visited his room for myself.  I cannot say for certain that I heard anything in the walls specifically identifiable as ants or any relative insect.  Although, when I put my ear to the wall, I thought I could hear a sort of low tone.  It was the type of sound that you can associate with anything your brain can conjure.  To be sure, I allowed myself to imagine thousands of ants chewing unstoppable through concrete and rebar, then water being pushed through the pipes surely on the other side, the marching of an insect horde, and lastly, the ocean surf.  All plausible through imagination, however reason prevailed and at that, an effect of my imagination, if I had even heard anything at all.
    The Patient insisted on remaining in his room and I obliged seeing no reason to force him to change rooms.  I will attempt to interview again on August 1st to see if he is willing to talk then. 
End of Report

Physician's Entry, 07/30/2003:  I was woken in my home shortly before 3:15am by a phone call from the Hospice's Night RN, Ms. Brenda Long reporting an emergency situation with our Patient to which she would not explain.  She had called the police as well which were in route.  When I arrived, The Patient was missing from his room and Ms. Long visibly shaken and emotionally distraught.  She mentioned ants over and over, no doubt somehow traumatized by the delusions of the Patient.  I did not push the ant issue with Ms. Long, as doing so would be detrimental to the shock that she was currently experiencing.  I must find out how he was able to so negatively influence her.  I imagine that she will offer similar details that I have included in this report, though I digress.  She did regain some lucidity while we were talking and claimed she had captured one of the ants.  Unfortunately, the urine sample collector she stored it in had a good sized hole in it.  Being early in the morning and still waking up, I was not in a debating mood, though it is clear that Ms. Long had been bested by a termite.  
    The Savannah Police Department were looking over security footage and I notified them of his involvement in the previous investigations.  They seemed agitated about investigating the Patient's room and one officer, Brody, I believe the first on scene, did appear to also be disturbed.  They did, however, liaise with Crestwood PD and I assume received a similar message as I had.  They did not offer any clues as to how he escaped though I have yet to view the footage for myself.  A missing person report is being drawn up and I have a sneaking suspicion that there will not be much of an effort put into this investigation.  I could only emphasize the importance of locating a patient with mental distresses such as ours.  I was halfheartedly assured that they would support with all available assets.  I hold out for a speedy return for our Patient.  End of Report

Savannah Police Department
Statement of Record

Case No: MP030730
Reporting Officer: Lt Robert Jones, Badge # 239654
Stating Individual: Patrolman Richard Brody, Badge # 239824
Time and Date:  10:00am  07/30/2003

Text:  At 3:04am, I responded to a 911 call at the Hampton Creek Mental Hospice on Hampton Creek Road.  On arrival, the caller, Ms Brenda Long alleged an emergency with one of the patients, a Mr. Daniel Hawley.  Unwilling to explain, she led me to his room saying that I had to do whatever I could to help him.  Curious as to why the staff were unable to provide assistance, I approached the room.  I did not see Mr. Hawley although I am sure that he had been there very recently.  Due to circumstances that I was not sure how to handle, I advised Ms. Long against making a statement and to inform the patient's doctor of the situation.  It is my understanding that she withheld certain information out of fear of reprimand or institution.  Dr. Steven Waldrop arrived on scene at approximately 4:37 am, at which point I would have never known Mr Hawley had been in the room.  Dr. Waldrop seemed both concerned and disappointed in our handling of the situation and informed us of the past investigations on the missing individual.  Cpl Garret Baxter contacted the Crestwood PD about Mr. Hawley and informed us to initiate a missing persons report.  The investigation concluded that Mr. Hawley had somehow escaped through the apparent termite damage in either the ceiling or walls and was able to avoid capture on the property's CCTV system.  It remains as such at the time of this report.
NFTR

***This file is closed until further notice.***

Author's Note

The thought of telling a story through a doctor's perspective in a file intrigued me so I gave it a shot. Now, obviously, I'm no doctor so you're going to have to suspend your belief in reality for a few minutes and go with it.

Reviews

[Mockingbird]

impeccably written. i liked the form you used through the doctor's reports and police reports. although the doctor's notes were written in first person you get the sense of detachment between the doctor and patient. your narrative was completely convincing, and it gave the story a reality about it that you had to remind yourself you were reading a story. the detail was incredible, the description of the ants made you wonder if they really exist. this was a very engaging story. it's so polished and seems ready to be published in the new yorker. excellent work!