A Farewell

This poem is about going to war. It tried to express the emotional pain of leaving loved ones behind when going to a battlefield.

A Farewell

 

 

 

My train is at the platform

I’ll be leaving in an hour or two

Though I’ll be far away from you

Our dreams will never be forlorn

 

I am now saying goodbye

I will be abroad for years

My love for you will not die

So, wipe away those tears

 

It will be rough out there

Desert sands often have no pity

Still I must do my share

To fight for my country

 

I’ll be in a strange place

Lots of battles, the heartbreak and hunger

There will always be danger

But I’ll never forget your warm embrace

 

The train is about to depart

I’m going into the cabin

Goodbye, good luck with all my heart

Remember, true love will always win

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I am conscious that some stanzas are different. I would like feedback on the tone and mood, etc., of this poem.

Reviews

[Onlyme]

A nice interesting tale, in this sombre poem Hasan. But felt it lacked a little bit more emotionally affecting to give it the full benefit of the subject and emotions projected. But well worth a read. Thank you for sharing. I hope you don't mind my point of view. Only trying to be helpful. Not mean.

[Hasan669]

Thank you Dawn. I agree the poem could have been more emotive. Actually the reasons are that I wrote it before doing a course in poetry writing, when I was practically obsessed with rhyming. This poem was sent to the LA Review poetry contest but was not a finalist. I now see why! Maybe I'll try to write a similar poem some time and add more emotions in it with a Free verse form. Thank you for your constructive criticism, much appreciated.

[Onlyme]

Thank you Hasan, for not taking me the wrong way in my comment above, still a good poem though dont forget. :)