A Sadist's Fool

You once stood alone on the precipice of a mountain.

The rock whispered warnings I did not heed.

Together we shall jump and soar!

Like shooting stars and birds galore, promised words,

yet you pushed me off and watched me fall.

Even as I fell betrayed, Caesar and Jesus,

even as I looked upon your face, Judas and Brutus,

my heart still desperately clung to your feet, covered in grime.

The elixir in your kisses,

a healing toxin of the strongest addiction.

An aura so ubiquitous,

it overwhelmed my entire being,

in it I had fallen, and in it I rose anew.

I dared to think my shattered soul mended,

I dared to stand with you again.

Oh, the shock of being fooled once,

is nothing to the shock of being twice the fool!

I laughed as I fell,

a shriek of a laugh filled with maddened derision

at the sight of my heart, clay in your potter's hands.

Even as I lay dying by your hand,

I still so craved the graceful touch of that hand!

Oh cardiac core, oh aortic mass,

how could you be so easily controlled!

In seemingly eternal sorrow was I so drowned,

and you, clandestine,

in every smell, and every sound!

Atop the mountain's nest you still stood perched,

my wings clipped, I no longer looked to the sky.

Your voice trickled down the stone

like streams of water, a lullaby of bird song.

Sweet, wicked siren, leave me be!

What part of me have you not destroyed?

What droplet of blood have you not absorbed?

Oh fiendish embrace, release my longing,

no longer can I bear this crown of thorns!

Each aching breath, a gust of misery,

but still, but still, I continue to breathe!

Even as my entire being screamed in resentment,

my heart, my heart, my heart screamed for thee!

What is this love that so often manages to cure,

the same terrifying ailments it also induced,

rendering me able to love again?

Perhaps I am just a fool.

A fool climbing to the precipice of a mountain,

which whispers warnings to a heart that cannot heed.