Chapter 20

        It was hot out and the sun shined brightly down on the lush green grass on either side of the cement path I followed. I navigated my way through the crowd of teens, a suitcase and duffel bag being pulled along with me. Not too far ahead in the distance I could see a somewhat large building that was to be my destination.

        But that wasn't what I was mainly focusing on. I peered around me, trying to find someone in particular. The place was large though, so it would probably be difficult to find him. I just hoped that I would be lucky just this one time. . .

        I looked towards the building that I was nearing, but that wasn't what caught my eye. It was something – or rather, someone else. My heart skipped a beat and I felt my feet picking up the pace as I changed my course just a little bit so I headed straight towards him. He soon turned his head in my direction and I could see his eyes widening upon the sight of me. He ran over towards me while I dropped my bags to the ground.

        “Wh-what are you doing here?” Jack asked, the surprised look unwavering.

        “I thought it would be nice to go to school somewhere else for a change,” I said, giving a small, somewhat weak smirk. I sighed afterwards though as the smirk slowly disappeared. “But I guess that's a lie.” I looked off to the side a little. “There's a different reason why I'm here.”

        I looked back up at him. The surprised look on his face finally weakened a little and his mouth opened a tad as if he was about to say something, but nothing came.

        “I'm sorry for the way I acted when we were down at the river that one day,” I apologized. “I didn't mean a single thing I said. All of it was a lie. I didn't really want you to go.”

        “Then why didn't you say something before?” he asked.

        “I don't know,” I sighed. “But I came here to . . . well, fix things. There's something I have to tell you though. I . . .”

        I struggled to say the words, nervousness starting to fill me. I looked away for a second or two before looking back at him to see the hint of hope those soft brown eyes of his now held.

        “I love you,” I finally managed to say.

        The next thing I knew, his arms were around me with his hand grabbing the back of my head and his lips collided with mine. My eyes fluttered closed as I hugged him back. All of space and time seemed to freeze around us as we stood there, holding each other in our arms while our lips remained locked. I savored the taste of his lips and the feel of his slightly muscular body in my arms.

        Jack broke the kiss a few seconds later and stepped back a little, my arms falling back down to my sides as I reopened my eyes to look at him. He smiled down at me as he reached a hand up to caress my cheek a little.

        “I love you too,” he said.

        His hand fell back down to his side a couple seconds later as he looked down towards my luggage.

        “C'mon, let's go get you settled in,” he said before he picked up my suitcase while I picked up my duffel bag.

        And with that, we walked towards the dorms hand-in-hand.

Author's Note

Is this a better ending?

Reviews

[Eidolon Michael]

I'm confused, what are the two different endings? The one where he doesn't make it in time and the one where he ends up telling him? If so, I prefer the one where he doesn't make it in time. It's a bit more unexpected than the "get-together" ending, mostly because it's kinda confusing that Jack would so willingly be with Jay after everything that happened. But anyway, however way the story ends, it was great to read. I loved it ^_^

[Que]

Alright, I can finally comment - I read it all late into the night yesterday and didn't have the time to.
So.
First off, I really enjoyed reading this. It was simple yet sweet; in all honesty I suppose it was a bit predictable (unless you ended it with the chapter before this one, which would bring quite a twist to the whole romance - but then I think you would have to emphasize on how they never got together or something).
One critique I have is that there were a lot of unnecessary parts in the story. One I recall especially was when they were at the theme park and you kept saying how 'they waited in line for this or that long' etc. It was quite repetitive but most of all, it wasn't really needed in the story. Keep in mind that I'm no expert and I myself can't really write stories, but I know that when you write like this, you want to keep the reader interested at all times, therefore avoiding anything that would stray from the actual storyline.
Also, if I remember correctly, you'd commented on one of your chapters asking if it was necessary - I believe it was the one in which they were cooking. I think that yes, even though not much happens in it, it is necessary to show how their friendship is progressing.
And let's see...the dialogue is very realistic, which is good, but I think that maybe in some parts you went too fast. For example right here at the ending: I don't think that anyone in real life, when found in the situation Jack was in, would forgive Jay that easily. Yes, they were in love, but considering the extent Jay had gone to hurting Jack and pushing him away, Jack should still have maybe some anger or sadness in him and he would naturally want some answers as to why Jay acted like that.
Oh right, and now I just remembered something else. Pretty much all of your chapters ended with them parting ways - either it was a coincidence, or you did that on purpose. If you did that on purpose, to create some effect, well then I think that maybe you should make it more clear.
Anyway, wow, this is a pretty long comment. I just saw before that you are making a rewrite of this, so I'll read the first chapters that you have up.
Hope this helped.
Cheers and have a good day.

[Sharkapillar]

Aww the ending is great! Maybe I'ma sap, but it made me cry.
I support gay pride. ♥

[Akash]

Yeah this one is actually a more realistic ending -
You love someone you have to take a last step....
Am sorry i came out here so late -
You could have informed me that you modified the ending - I was in such exasperation!
Very nice...
Thanks...
Too good --

[Star*Noble]

Awwwehz. How Cute Was That? I Love It xD
Aha. I Just Read Chur Bio And I See That Chu Prefer Consructive Cristicism. In That Case... I Didnt Read Teh First Ending, So I Cant Comment... But I Think Maybe There Were Times When Chur Main Character Didnt Explain How He Was Feeling Enough. Like, In The Period When He Wasnt Really Talking Tew Jack, There Were Some Moments That Could Have Been Filled With Amazing Inner Arguements xD

But Anyway, I Loved It. ^^
Check Some Of My Writing When I Finally Get It Up??

xx
Star*Noble

[Akash]

mad ending
really 'f***s' me up
i usually do not use such words but i really enjoyed the book
from the prologue to the whole very end i was hooked up but this ending really made me mad
from the very start i had a twinge that this was what will indeed shine out...i know you avoided trying to be filmsy by not making the characters meet up....i dnt know maybe Jay could go to that academy take him up!!!
i am really sad up on this one...cannot patch up on this one
what?? is there a competition to make up horribly ending stories...though i love the whole concept
i really do...i am juust kinda angry

actually i had my pc crashed...just at chapter 18....and i reversed the world just to come at 19
but then i got reversed!!!

please disregard this...

[Mekin]

Hmmm, I'm 50-50 on the epilogue. I could tell from reading, but there are other people who would find this useful.

[courtney]

i think you should keep it as is unless of course you want to change it to where they end up togther. the ending made me alittle mad but i understand why you did it the way you did.