Chapter 33

 

        A week passed since that night. Sean told Alex about Aunt Kathy knowing about them being in love now. Because of this, they didn't really see any reason in not being able to hang out at Sean's house since they didn't have to worry about trying to hide the fact that they loved each other.

        It was now the Monday after that week. Alex stopped at Sean's house and after saying their good-byes, Sean got out of the car. He walked to the door and walked inside. When he entered, sounds of crying immediately reached his ears. Sean stopped in his tracks for a moment as he looked around to determine where it was coming from. After slipping off his shoes, he walked towards the kitchen, figuring it was coming from there.

        He stood there in the doorway of the kitchen to see Aunt Kathy sitting there at the small, square kitchen table. An elbow rested on the smooth, wooden surface of it as her hand covered her eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

        “Something wrong?” Sean asked with a hint of concern in his voice as he stepped closer towards the table.

        Aunt Kathy removed her hand from her eyes so she could look at the teen, who took a seat in one of the three unoccupied chairs.

        “Your father's dead,” she told him as a few more tears rolled down her face.

        Sean was a little surprised when he heard this. His mouth opened up, but nothing came out as he had trouble finding what to say.

        “H-how?” he asked.

        “He committed suicide,” she answered.

        The dark-haired boy said nothing else as he just looked down at the surface of the table. He wasn't even quite sure what he should feel about this. His father treated him like dirt, but at the same time, it was his father. If it wasn't for him, he wouldn't have even been born.

        Sean slowly got up from the table and went to go up to his room, figuring it would probably just be best to leave Aunt Kathy alone for now. He took a seat in the chair at his desk as he got started on his homework. However, ten minutes passed and Sean hadn't even really done that much. His mind kept wandering to the fact that his father was now dead.

        Unable to concentrate, Sean left the house and walked around the neighborhood. It was peaceful like it usually always was, but right now, Sean wasn't really able to take in the peace it possessed. He soon found himself coming to the lake. His feet carried him to the sandy edge of it where he sat down. The cold started to make him shiver, his black sweatshirt not being nearly enough to keep him warm. However, it didn't bother him right now.

        “What are you doing out here with only that on?” asked Alex several seconds later as he neared the sitting boy. “Are you crazy? You're going to catch a –”

        “My father's dead,” Sean cut in.

        Alex didn't say another word as he stood there and looked down at Sean, who was staring out at the lake. He heaved forth a sigh before sitting down next to Sean. Nothing was said between the two right away.

        “My aunt said he committed suicide,” Sean said almost indifferently.

        Alex didn't say anything. He gave a slight frown as he put a comforting arm around Sean's shoulders.

        “I don't really feel sorry for him either,” said Sean. “After everything he's done to me, I don't even feel a single ounce of sadness because of him being dead.”

        There was a moment of silence as they both stared out at the lake.

        “I guess that's kind of understandable,” Alex said.

        Sean sighed as he just stared out at the lake. The two sat there for a little bit longer, not really saying much to each other. Sean left a few minutes later, figuring he should probably head back home. When he got there, Aunt Kathy was sitting on the couch. She wasn't crying anymore, but it could definitely be told that she was highly upset about her brother's death.

        “Your father's funeral is going to be held this Saturday,” she told him as he slipped his shoes off. “I'm not going to make you go, but I think you should, even if you just stay long enough to pay your respects.”

        “I'm not going,” he told her.

        “Are you sure you –”

        “Yeah,” he interrupted with a small hint of anger in his voice. “I don't have anything to owe to that man, not after he beat me for all those years.”

        Without another word, he just climbed the stairs to go up to his room.

 

        The rest of the week went by at a steady pace for Sean. He wasn't going to let his father's death bother him. Why should he? His father was cruel to him and so he didn't deserve any of his respect, not after everything he had done.

        Throughout that entire week, Alex always seemed to be concerned on whether or not Sean was all right about his father's death. It annoyed Sean a bit, which caused him to try to stay away from Alex every so often. He was tired of the other male feeling sorry for him because of his father dying. Several times he tried to tell Alex that he was perfectly fine about it and that it didn't bother him, but Alex never seemed to believe him.

        It was now Saturday. His aunt, who was wearing a black dress, was getting ready for the funeral service. She stuffed several tissues into her purse so she could have them in case she needed them. Afterwards, she turned towards Sean, who was sitting on the couch watching television.

        “Are you sure you don't want to go?” she asked him.

        “Yeah,” he said almost irritably.

        Aunt Kathy didn't say anything, but instead gave a small, slow nod of her head. She turned around and walked out the door. Sean didn't look towards her, but instead just kept his eyes glued to the television screen.

        About five minutes later, the doorbell rang. Sean slowly got up to answer it to see that it was Alex.

        “Hey,” he greeted a little quietly as he stepped into the house.

        “Hey,” Sean said back.

        After closing the door, Sean walked back over to the couch and sat back down. Alex slowly followed him over to it and sat down next to him.

        “How did the funeral go?” he asked.

        “It hasn't started yet,” Sean replied.

        “When does it start?”

        “Sometime soon I guess.”

        “Shouldn't you and your aunt be going then?”

        “She went, but I stayed.”

        “Why?”

        Sean didn't answer right away. He was too busy struggling with the nonchalant demeanor he kept about him.

        “Because I don't need to go. I don't have any respect to pay to him.”

        “But he's your dad.”

        “So?” he choked. “I don't feel sorry for him. Why should I feel sorry for him? He treated me like s**t! I'm glad that he committed suicide!”

        “Stop trying to fool yourself Sean.”

        It was too hard to hold back the tears now. A couple slowly rolled down his face. He couldn't deny it anymore. The indifferent look was blown away as the grief swallowed him whole. The tears started to come down faster until they were practically pouring down his face. Alex wrapped a comforting arm around the younger male, who buried his face into his shoulder. After about five seconds, he slowly pulled himself away from Alex.

        “Can you take me to the funeral home, please?” he asked the brown-haired boy. “I need to go.”

        “Yeah,” Alex answered a little quietly.

        They left the house and got in the car. After giving Alex the directions of where the funeral home was, they started to head there. About ten or fifteen minutes later, they arrived at it. Sean thanked Alex before getting out of the car and walking towards the funeral home where he stayed for the entire service.

Author's Note

I don't know if I played this part as well as I could have. I was trying to show that Sean was trying to deny that he was sad about his father's death without stating it right away. Did I do good job of this? Also, is the fact that he's trying to deny his grief and persuade himself that he shouldn't feel sorry about the death believable/realistic enough?

Reviews

[Amund Schofield]

Yes it's realistic that Sean would be trying to ignore the pain of the loss of his Father. However, maybe he's not so sad about losing a father, but loosing the possibilty of ever having a relationship with him. That would be more believable.

[Amy]

Okay, I really wasn't expecting that...it was a good chapter though.