WTFA: Chapter 2

            “Damn, too late,” Brayden mumbled to himself as he stopped in his tracks.  He had just come from around the corner to check for Ashley.  They were supposed to meet at her locker before they went to eat lunch, but, looking down the hall, he didn’t see her, meaning he kept her waiting too long.  With a curse, he turned back around and started for the cafeteria at a brisk walk. 

            He and Ashley had been dating for only two weeks.  Brayden had seen her around before, but he hadn’t known much about the junior girl until this year.  They had pre-calculus together, and they were assigned to sit next to each other.  After only a few days of class, she started showing interest--playful hits on the arm, attentive gaze every time he spoke.  Even if it weren’t for those signs, he would’ve known she liked him when she blatantly asked, “So, are you going to ask me out?” He hated the cockiness behind the question, but since he didn’t like being single for too long and since the offer was there, he figured he might as well give her what she wanted.

            And he dreaded every second of it.

            After coming down the stairs, Brayden turned down the hall, seeing that Ashley was just a few yards down.  Bracing himself for any nagging, he started toward her with a light jog.

“Hey! Ashley! Wait up,” he called.

            She stopped just feet away from the cafeteria’s entrance and turned.  Upon settling her gaze on him, she rolled her eyes, her arms crossed in front of her.  “Where were you? You kept me waiting at my locker, you know.  I was there for, like, forever.”

            You mean five minutes, he mentally corrected her, knowing that saying it out loud wouldn’t make her any happier.  The scolding he got was mild.  He didn’t want to push his luck.

He slowed to a stop and looked down at her face, idly wondering how much makeup she had to wear.  “Sorry.  I was gonna meet you, but May held me up about something.”

            The frown etched on her face deepened.  “About what?”

            Brayden shrugged, trying to ignore Ashley’s reactions to the name.  He knew part of it was out of jealousy--not too many of the girls liked May hanging around their boyfriends--but it also was out of a general dislike for her.  May being the sheriff’s daughter, as well as her having the same lawful mindset of a police officer, didn’t make her too well liked around Bellhart High.  For the most part, he felt the opposite; while it too annoyed him sometimes, her desire for everyone, especially her friends, to follow the law had saved him two years ago.

“A project,” he said.

Ashley’s expressions eased, but she still eyed him.  “What’s it about?”

He shrugged, wishing she would just let it go.  “Some philosophical bullshit from Grendel.”

“Oh.  I guess that’s okay.”

Glad you’re content with that answer, Brayden thought sarcastically.

Ashley turned toward the doors of the cafeteria, but she kept her attention on him.  “It’s a surprise her or Michael aren’t with you.”

She definitely didn’t sound upset.  Brayden caught the twinkle in her eyes--the kind that showed how much she had fallen for him.

He shuffled his feet, looking from her to the door.  He could smell the spaghetti they were serving.  “They’re busy.”

When he draped his arm around her, she leaned into him as they made their way into the cafeteria.  “That’s completely okay with me,” she said with a soft giggle.  “I mean, your friends are great, but I like being alone with you.”

“I know,” Brayden said, “but they’re friends.  I can’t just tell them to f**k off.  I’m not a dick like that.”

            “Please, it’s not like they haven’t dated before, too,” Ashley said.  “They should know we need some space.”

            Brayden shrugged.  “And we get that.  After school.”

            “But I want more,” Ashley said.

            “But I like hanging out with my friends,” Brayden said, trying to keep his tone even.  “Hell, Ash, I’m a senior.”  He frowned, thinking about what it meant.  “We’ll be going our own ways after this, and I hardly get enough time with them now.”  His gaze drifted to the tile flooring.  And I’m being turned into a memory half the damn time.  We’re already reminiscing and I’m already a picture inside a locker"or stuffed in some drawer.

            “All I’m asking for is to eat lunch with you alone--at least once a week,” she said.  “But whatever.  I guess you don’t like me that much.”

            You’re right.  I hate you.  God, you’re such a b***h.

            Looking to where they were walking, he stopped.  Just ahead, there were a couple of tables washed over by a sea of blue and white--mostly jerseys, but a few cheerleaders sat among the guys.  He frowned.  He knew Michael wouldn’t be with them.  Something to do with student government.

            “What?” Ashley asked.

            Brayden looked around the cafeteria, spotting a vacant table a few yards from their friends.  “You know what? You want to sit alone? We can do that today.”

            “But what about our friends? Didn’t you just say you wanted to hang with them?”

            He knew he couldn’t explain to her how, when it came to those friends, he didn’t care so much about them--they were cool people, but he didn’t feel so close to them anymore.  Now the only times he really hung out with them was when May or Michael were.  If anything, he wanted to disappear, become forgotten by them.  Maybe it was a sad thought, but he found relief in the idea.  But he couldn’t tell Ashley that.  She would ask questions, and he couldn’t give the answers.

            Brayden looked at her, mustering a smile.  “Yeah, but you’re right.  We need some space.  We can eat alone for once.”

            “Aw, thanks,” she said.  She reached up, pecking him on the cheek.  “You’re the greatest.”

            Yeah, really f*****g great, he thought as they started for the table.  I’m stringing you along like a dick.  I deserve a trophy.  He inwardly sighed.  Hell, I don’t know if I can keep doing this.

            “Brayden!”

            He looked over at their friends, seeing Jonathon, a senior, waving them over.  The others at the table were looking at them.  Brayden shook his head and looked away.

            “We’re sitting alone today!” Ashley shouted to them.

            Goddamn, broadcast it to the whole room.

            When they reached the vacant table, he dropped his arm from around her and sat, setting his backpack on the floor and his paper lunch bag on the table, but he didn’t touch it.  He didn’t feel so hungry any more.  He watched her open her own blue lunch bag, and just as he guessed, she pulled out a salad.

Brayden looked down at her outfit.  Her cheerleading uniform looked like it was two sizes too small.  It was probably out of some attempt to make herself feel skinnier--not that she was fat, but she wasn’t blessed with a perfect figure like some of the other girls on the squad.  He guessed it must’ve left something to be desired.

            You’re a b***h, but I feel sorry for you.

            Just then, an arm entered his line of sight, covering her chest.  He looked up, seeing her reddened face.

            “Stop staring!” she said with a sheepish smile, playfully smacking him on the arm with her other hand.  “You’re such a perv!”

            A smile broke out on his face.  He laughed.  “Sorry.  Didn’t mean to.”

            “It’s okay,” she said, but her blush didn’t ease.  She glanced at her salad, then back at him, almost if she was considering something.  Then she asked quietly, “Do you like them?”

            Brayden raised his eyebrows.  He glanced down at her.  “Of course.  You’re hot.”

            Her smile widened and the red on her face deepened, her head bowed toward her salad.  She held a packet of ranch dressing in her hand.

            “By the way, what are we doing tonight?” he asked, mainly so she wouldn’t try to continue that line of thought.

            Ashley shrugged, looking back up at him.  “I don’t know.  What do you think we should do?”

            “I don’t know.  I’ll leave it up to you.”

            She rolled her eyes as she sat the packet on the table, its contents now emptied out onto her salad.  “You always leave it up to me.” 

            And that just bothers the hell out of you, Brayden thought, eyeing her haughty smirk.  He forced a smile.  “Because you got all the good ideas.”

            “Aw, thank you.”  She kissed him on the lips, lingering for a moment, before turning back to her salad.  “But I want you to pick this time.”

            Great.  “I don’t know,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.  Brayden looked around the cafeteria, half-hoping he could find a good idea among the crowd.  He knew he should try to come up with something at least somewhat special, that he owed her that much for what he was putting her through, but after thinking on it for a few seconds, he gave up.  He didn’t want to put that much effort into it.  “Let’s go see a movie.”

            Ashley giggled.  “Is that the best you can do?”

            Brayden frowned, glancing at her.  He shrugged.  “I tried.  Sorry.”

            “It’s okay,” she said.  He felt her hand on his arm.  “But I wish it was something better.”

            She squeezed his bicep.  He tore it away.

            “It’s the best I got.  Take it or leave it.”

            “Brayden, you don’t have to get feisty.  I was only teasing you.”  She grazed his arm with her fingers.  “A movie would be great.  What one?”

            He shrugged.  “Don’t know.  Some horror one.”

            “That’ll be fun, but maybe we can watch it at my house?”

He wondered if she was implying something with that, but he doubted she was the type to throw herself at a guy this quickly.  Even if she was, he bet her parents wouldn’t let them have too much privacy.  “I guess.”  He’d rather go to the cinema because she’d be more tolerable there, but he figured he could at least do that much for her.

“Great! You do have a movie you can bring over, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.  You’ll have to meet my parents first.”  She rolled her eyes, “but we can watch it up in my room.  My mom and dad won’t care so long as we keep the door open.  So don’t try anything.”  With a giggle, she poked him in the arm.

Brayden gave her a half-smile.  “I’ll try not to.”

Ashley glanced down at the bit of table in front of him.  “Hey, aren’t you even going to eat anything?” She motioned with her fork to his lunch bag. 

            He shook his head.  “Not hungry.”

            “Suit yourself,” she said, shrugging.  She took another bite of her salad, and as she chewed, she rolled her eyes, as if thinking over something.  Finally, after swallowing, she looked back at him.  “Have you thought any more about what college you’re going to?”

            Brayden felt his shoulders slump.  He sat back in his chair.  “No,” he muttered.

            “I’m sorry, what was that?”

            From his periphery, he saw Ashley leaning in closer.  He leaned away.  “No,” he said again, louder this time.

            “Oh.”

            He shot her a glare, but she had her head bowed toward the plastic container that held her salad.  There was something about that “oh” that pissed him off.

            “You haven’t applied to one yet, right?” Ashley asked.

            “No.”  He kept his gaze cast on a nearby table, but he paid no attention to the people there or what was going on.  He started bouncing his leg.

            Ashley giggled.  “I kind of thought you would’ve"”

            “Shut up already!” he snapped.

            He stopped, staring at the shocked, hurt look on her face.  Guilt started surfacing inside him.  But it was her damn fault.

            For a moment, Ashley seemed frozen, but then she turned back to her salad, her facial expressions collected.  “Sorry,” she said, stabbing at the lettuce.  “I’m only trying to talk.  You don’t have to attack me for it.”

            Brayden sighed, trying to calm his annoyance, but it didn’t work that well.  He settled his gaze on his bag.  “I hear enough of that crap.  Talk about something else.”

            “Okay! I’m sorry!” Ashley sighed.  “Sorry,” she said again, this time a little more heartfelt.  She put her hand on top of his, which was curled into a fist.  Her skin felt cool.  It was almost foreign to him.  “I didn’t know it was a…touchy subject for you.  But I’m sure you’ll be fine.”  She squeezed his hand, and his bicep twitched, but he stopped himself before he could pull away.  “You have time.”  Finally, her touch disappeared.

Time.  The word played over in his head.

“Oh! This funny thing happened in Spanish today…”

            Brayden tuned her out.  He stared at the clock on the wall, watching it tick away the seconds.  Each one gone, just like that.  Time was running out.  Time was wasting away.

            Suddenly, the cafeteria felt small and cramped.  He could hear everyone talking at once--all their voices bombarding his ears from every side.  His leg was bouncing quickly.

            “Hey, are you even paying any attention to me?” Ashley asked, her voice breaking apart from the others.

            Bryaden winced, and his muscles went tense.  He turned on her.  “Fu--” He stopped, his hand in the air, index finger about to be jabbed in her direction.  He lowered it.  With a sigh, he stood.

            “I’m gonna go.”

 “Wha--hey! Brayden! What the hell?”

He rushed out of the cafeteria and down the hall, not slowing until the chatter came as more of a murmur.  Ashley didn’t try to follow him--good.  He had enough of her for now.  But she’ll try texting me.  He pulled his phone out of the pocket of his athletic shorts, and he saw that he had a message.  It was from May, asking him where he was.  He ignored it.  She’ll be pissed, but I don’t give a damn.  He couldn’t think about anything school-related right now.  Once his phone was off, he shoved it back into his pocket.

Life is s**t.  He wanted change, but that would probably make things worse.  He was trapped.

In a fit of rage, he slammed the side of his fist into a locker, the hollow bang ringing out in the quiet hall.

“Whoa, dude, what’s got you pissed?”

Brayden turned his head, and his anger faltered.

“Hey, Michael,” he greeted his friend, who was a few feet away.  He felt a small smile form on his face, and he dropped his hand from the cool metal, his fingers uncurled.  Like him, Michael wore a football jersey.  “What are you doing? Didn’t you have some student government thing?”

A brunette stood next to Michael.  Sarah.  He knew she was part of the student body government, but he couldn’t remember if she was secretary or treasurer.  He nodded at her in acknowledgment.

            “Yeah,” Michael said.  A smile was etched on his face, one that held confidence--more nowadays than what it had in the past, Brayden noticed.  Or maybe it was cockiness, but, whatever someone wanted to call it, it was a nice sight.  “Actually, it just finished.”

“I’m going to go,” Sarah said, looking at Michael.  “See you later.”

“Aight,” Michael said.  He watched her walk off for a moment before looking back at Brayden.  “So what’s up, dude? You looked like you were about to pulverize that locker--never mind, it looks like you did pulverize it.”  A grin took shape.  His pearly whites seemed to shine under the fluorescent lights.

Brayden glanced at the locker, seeing the dent.  He didn’t know to whom it belonged.  Some freshman, since that was the hall in which they stood.  He shrugged, resettling his gaze on Michael.  “Stuff.”

Michael nodded.  “Gotcha.”

That was the one thing Brayden liked about his friend.  Michael knew when he didn’t want to talk about something and respected that.  If only May--and Ashley--would learn to do the same.

“I guess you’re going to the library?” Michael asked.  “May said you two had that Grendel project to finish.”

            Brayden frowned, looking back at the locker he struck.  “I don’t know, man.”

            “What, you’re blowing her off?” Michael chuckled.  “Dude, she’ll be so pissed at you for you doing that.”

            “I know.”  Brayden jammed his hands into his pockets, shrugging.  “But I don’t want to think about school right now.”

            “Uh, dude, you know as well as I do that an excuse like that won’t sit with May.”  Michael shrugged nonchalantly.  “It’s your choice, but just realize she’ll yell at you for it.  Honestly, if it were me, I would just go so I wouldn’t have to face her wrath.  Just sayin’.  But anyway, I’m going to head to the cafeteria, see what the others are up to.  See you around, man.”  Michael clapped him on the shoulder before walking past.

Brayden listened to Michael’s footsteps for a moment.  He sighed.  “I hate it when you’re right.”  But a smile sat on his lips.  “Prick.”

“Dude, I’m always right.  You should be used to it by now.  Oh, and are you going to Sandy’s party tonight?”

            Brayden looked over his shoulder, seeing that Michael had stopped, looking at him.  He knew he already promised Ashley to go to the movies, but suddenly he didn’t care.  “Yeah, sounds good.”