I Want to f*****g die

A super short story I wrote in about 20 minutes

I want to f*****g die.

I just finished going to the Razzies to ironically pick up a trophy for worst actor for a sinful straight to DVD action film I did in Thailand last year, everyone in the audience got a free copy. My agent said it might be good as it could get people talking about me again as I haven’t done anything big in years and the only thing I’m known or these days is being a f*****g failure.

My wife left me seven years ago and I haven’t seen any of my children in four years after I went out for the night and left him alone and he ended up slitting his wrists all over the new couch as I drunkenly threw his phone into a wall. Damn thing cost a fortune.

The last movie I did that didn’t completely suck and managed to make any money was 9 years ago but after that I decided to do a string of family comedies, but it turns out I’m the not funny and the only people who do find me funny are f*****g retarded. Then I tried writing, directing and starring my comeback movie two years ago but that failed as I only realised the film was a boring piece of s**t half way shooting and when I left the film after begging the studio to let me go (which they did without much persuasion) some young kid was brought in and he got an Oscar for the film.

Once I gotten home after one of the less depressing night in recent years and tried to relax after finding my box of razors it turns out one of my creepy f*****g neighbours thought I was trying to kill myself, so they called the ambulance.

Next thing I know I wake up in a hospital room and I had managed to cut a major artery in my right arm and I was found passed out and bleeding profusely all over an already bloody couch.

When I left the hospital, my face is on every trash newspaper and people all over the internet were saying some thoughts and prayers s**t. Apparently, people do give a s**t about me. After all that s**t my agent thought I was big again so I’ve gotten the role of a secondary character in an adaptation of a book for a TV movie, it’s the best I can do.