Chapter 1

His name is Avery.

I see him everywhere, but I have yet to figure where I know him from, or even just how I know him. My name is Paige James. I have been happily married for 7 years. I am 28 years old wear cargo capris and layered tanks. I'm 5'5 have dark brunette hair that just goes past my shoulders, but is usually up in a ponytail. I'm not a bean pole but I'm not fat either. I'm mostly in-between. My husband’s name is Joshua James. He is 6'5, brown hair which has a little flip upwards in the front, he has deep green eyes that if you stare at them long 

enough all of life passes you by, and you start to sink slowly into an unknown world…but you rarely get that chance because they are hidden behind rectangular black rimmed glasses. He's a bit lanky, and wears blue jeans a t-shirt, with a long-sleeved shirt over that. Most of his wardrobe consists of things overlapping each other. He also wears a black wrist watch on his right hand. We've often thought of having children, but our lives and jobs make it way to complicated right now. If we had a baby, it wouldn't be fair for it. We wouldn't have time for it. Joshua went to medical school after being married for 4 years, and I took Journalism in college, so I ended up getting a job in that field. About Avery, he's a very unique individual, for you see…I see him everywhere; and by everywhere, I mean I see him playing in the backyard, sitting at the table coloring, in the empty bedroom-which will be the baby room when we're ready-playing with toys, when I get out of the shower and wipe the steam from the window, the reflection is of him in the living room playing.  When I turn around, he's no longer there. I see him when I'm driving to work. He's usually in the back seat napping or playing. Even Joshua see's him, so I know I'm not going crazy.

We've thought about maybe him being a ghost, but that doesn't add up, then we thought him out to be the guilt trip of us holding off on having a baby…like perhaps he's the baby we wish we had; but we are very sure, no baby until schedule's get cleared up.

"Hey." said Joshua kissing the top of my head as he came through the kitchen.

"How'd you sleep?" 

"Ok I guess, but I kept having dreams about that child last night." I informed him.

"Hmm, it really makes me wonder who he is." He said while pouring milk over his cereal.

"I have no idea, I mean the only reason we know his name is because of the blanket he had with him when we first saw him." I remembered back to the first time Josh and I saw him.

I was doing the dishes and rounding up the strays.

"Are you done with your bowl?" I had asked Josh.

"Yup, we're done." I looked at him confused.

"We're?" 

"Yes, ya know the little baby you're babysitting." He pointed at him. I turned around eyes wide. 

"Josh, I'm not babysitting tonight." I looked at him.

"C'mon Paige, don't pull that on me, it doesn't work." He said going back to his paper.

"I'm serious Josh, here look." I went and grabbed my babysitting date book and showed him the empty date.

"You probably just forgot to mark it down." I rolled my eyes at him.

"I never forget to mark it down, you know me. Besides did you ever hear the door bell go off?" I asked him knowing he'd know the answer.

"Well, uh…well I, ok let's just say you're not babysitting tonight, who's baby is this then?" 

"I have no clue, but his name is Avery." I said walking toward the boy and showing Josh the blanket with his name in blue on the side. Upon me getting closer the boy started to fuss and throw a tantrum.

"See, I'm not fit to be a mother." I said backing away slowly. Josh walked up to the little guy and picked him up and went to grab the phone.

"Oh sure, he has no problem what-so-ever with you." I said half sarcastically.

"What can ya say, I'm a natural." He said. He returned phone in hand and set Avery down. "Ok, I'm going to call around and see if I can find his parents." 

"Um, Josh…" I said.

"Yeah Paige." Josh said with the phone up to his ear.

"Don't bother." 

"What, why not?" He said turning around, and to both our amazement he was gone. "Ok, please tell me you also saw the baby." 

"Yes, and now I don't." 

"Me either." said Josh hanging up on the other person.

"Josh, you just hung up on someone."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to be the one to tell them about the vanishing baby…?" 

"Ha Ha Ha." 

That was the first of many times we saw Avery. The next time was when I was doing laundry and I walked past the empty bedroom carrying a laundry basket and saw Avery playing with his toys.

"JOSH! He's back!" I yelled dropping the laundry basket, and running to get Josh.

"Ok, what?" He asked while running with me to the empty room.

"It's Avery, he's back and he's in here playing." I opened the door to the room and Josh looked at me.

"Come on, that's not funny, don't scare me like that." Said Josh, and I looked into the room and Avery was gone. So we have yet to figure out how or why we are seeing him.

"So, what are you dreaming about at night?" asked Josh.

"Nothing in particular really, it's just Avery and I, and usually we are grocery shopping, or playing at the park." I said yawning.

"Hmm, well it certainly is a different predicament we're in huh? Don't want children yet and we still have one, only it'd be better if he was real because then at least we could take him to a babysitter; but at the moment I don't think a sitter would help much." Josh finished eating and took a shower. He was soon out the door and headed to the children's hospital. Yeah, when I said Medical school, it was so he could become a pediatrician. To me they're the same thing.

"Love you and see you later tonight!" He said while going out the door.

"Love you too." I didn't have work today, there were no stories for me to go after lately. I should tell about why Joshua decided to become a pediatrician. 

When Josh was 18 he had to babysit a 5 year old named Eric for 4 weeks. He didn't stay at his house it was just during the day. Josh was home schooled so it didn't really interfere with school. Eric caused Joshua so much trouble by biting, scratching, spitting, punching, kicking, and even pinching him. Joshua wasn't real sure on how to handle the situation. on the third night Josh tried to have a sit down with the boy.

"Just tell me why you do this." Josh said, but the boy said nothing back.

"Can you tell me what you feel?" he asked. 

"Quit hating me!" the boy yelled.

"What, I don't hate you." Josh said confused.

"You hurt me! Stop hating me!" the boy continued yelling. Josh went to extend his hand out for the boy to hold but the boy slapped his arm and bit it then ran.

"Ugh! Why do you do that?" He asked more to himself. "The little twerp!" he had thought to himself. This behavior happened every day, and when Josh would try to just get near the boy he would do something bad to Josh and then run to his room. So each night when Mr. and Mrs. Stewart came home Josh would give a report on Eric's behavior.

The parents would always apologize, pay him a little extra and say goodnight. One of the nights Mrs. Stewart tried to tell Joshua something but was quickly summoned by her husband to come upstairs. Then on the second to last night Josh gave his report which was the usual and Mr. Stewart started to undo his tie and head upstairs. 

"You'll have to forgive Eric, we're teaching him no." said Mrs. Stewart.

"Apparently not enough." Josh thought to himself. Then when the husband was clear of view Mrs. Stewart unfolded the real reason.

"Joshua I am so sorry that I never told you any of this before, but Mr. Stewart beats us when we're Bad." She said putting quotations on the bad.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Josh asked. 

"Because my husband might be listening, and because I know it's shameful that as a Christ believing woman, I would marry a non-christian." she said; a tear going down her face. "Please, you must still watch him the last night." she said almost as a beg more than a command.

"Yes, of course. I'll see you both tomorrow night then." Josh said while walking out the door. When he closed the door he heard from the open window:

"Julie! Eric! get up here! you've both been very bad!" Josh recognized it and decided to call the cops. Then he realized he forgot his phone at home. 

"Well, I could when I get home, but it'd be too late then. I'm sorry Mrs. Stewart…Eric." The next day he sat down with his parents and told them not only of the Stewarts situation but also his ideas about his sister Sarah. His sister had, had the flu for 4 weeks, and some pain.

"Mom, dad. I don't want to scare you…but I think we should take Sarah into the hospital." 

"What for? She's coming out of it." his mother said.

"Yes, but I fear it may come back." 

"Joshua, what are you talking about?" asked his father.

"I did some research last night when I got home; and all of Sarah's symptoms match those of…well, those of Leukemia patients." Josh said trying to stay calm.

"JOSHUA ISAAC JAMES!" his mother yelled, obviously not happy with the "negativity"-as his mother called it- coming out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry mom, but they do match." 

"Emily, calm down honey; Are you sure?" his father asked.

"Well, not a 100%, and I'm not doctor; which is why I think we should take her in."

"Ok, I'll call the hospital and let them know we're coming. Joshua you go start the car, Emily…go get Sarah and her things." His father said very calmly. 

"Alright." she said. They gathered Sarah and her things and took her into the hospital. Sarah is 5'3 12 years old, has blonde hair that goes to the middle of her back, has bright blue eyes, she's usually in blue jeans and a baby doll top. 

"Hey Josh, what do you think is going to happen?" Asked Sarah.

"What do you mean?" asked Josh.

"Like, what do you think is gonna happen if they find out I do have leukemia." 

"Don't worry about it, whatever happens we'll all get through it." 

"Yeah…Hey Josh, even though I sometimes don't show my love and appreciation for you…I do. I do love you. I do appreciate you. Very much Josh, and if I do die…"

"Sarah, quite talking like that, you probably just have the flu." his mother said. A tear went down Sarah's face.

"Hey, Sarah. I'm pretty sure we're making a big deal out of nothing." said Josh.

"Yeah." when they got to the hospital the doctors zoomed her away and immediately began running tests.

"Hey, what are you doing, when will we see her again?" My mother asked.

"Don't worry ma'am, we just need to do some main testing to make sure she doesn't have leukemia. You'll see her soon." they said. Course we all know that a doctor runs on doctor's time. When they say soon they could mean 3 hours, a week, a month…I mean just when they say they'll be back in a minute they come back an hour later. They had been sitting there for 4 hours so at this time it was currently 5:00pm.

"I'm going to go call the Stewarts and let them know I can't make it tonight." He stepped out into the lobby and called the Stewarts.

"Hello?" came the voice of Mrs. Stewart.

"Hi Mrs. Stewart, this is Josh. I am so sorry, but my sister has been taken into the hospital and I can't make it tonight, but I know of someone who would be more than happy to watch…"

"NO, YOU HAVE TO COME!!! Please!" she screamed.

"Mrs. Stewart, please calm down. I know of someone…" 

"It's not that, my husband's drunk, and gone off the deep end." In the background I heard Eric screaming and starting to cry and Mrs. Stewart yelling.

"OH NO, PLEASE GOD, NO! PUT ERIC DOWN!!!" she was yelling at her husband.

"MAMA!!" yelled Eric. 

"Josh, call the police!!!" she yelled. 

"Who's on that phone women!!!" Josh heard a very loud smacking sound and then Mr. Stewart cussing. I hung up the phone and immediately called the police.

"911, What's your emergency?" The operator lady asked.

"My name is Joshua James, and I need police and an ambulance sent over to 1238 Winston Ave. Grand Rapids, Michigan."

"ok Sir, can you tell me what's happened?" She questioned.

"A drunken husband is beating his wife and 5 year old son."

"Alright sir, Police dispatches are on their way. Thank you for calling 911 for your emergency." He went back to his sisters room and there they sat for another hour before he heard a call coming in at the desk.

"We have a 5 year old Male, name Eric Stewart with serious head trauma, and severe bruising all over his body. Also a 30 year old Female, pronounced dead at the scene but is giving organs, Name Meghan Stewart." Josh ran out into the hallway where the doors to the emergency center flew open and in ran 2 men with a stretcher with Eric on it, who looked a bit like a rag doll. They ran him through the double doors and was gone. Then Joshua saw the body bag making its way to the morgue. 

"Excuse me, but how did that lady die?" He asked.

"Her husband bashed her head into the corner of the coffee table." Josh went to the front desk. 

"Excuse me, but will you please keep me updated with Eric Stewart please?" He asked tears coming down his face.

"Of course." said the nurse kindly. "Is he your brother?" she asked.

"Hmm oh, n…" He thought about it. His mother just died, and his father is probably on his way to prison for a very long time. "Yes, I am the boys’ brother." He said.

"Very well sir." 

"Thank you Nurse…" Josh looked at her name tag. "Josh went back to Sarah's room and informed his parents of what happened.

"You don't blame yourself do you?" his father asked. "A little, I mean that first night when I heard something; I should have called the police anyway. Now Mrs. Stewart is dead, and Eric's father is probably in prison.

"Joshua, don't blame yourself. This was God's choosing.” said his mother. 

"But why would God choose for his mother to die? And his father to beat his own blood." 

"I don't fully understand God, but he has a purpose." said his mother. Another 2 hours went by and a nurse came into our room.

"Sarah?" my parents asked as they stood.

"No, I'm sorry. It's Eric, he needs surgery and wants to see you." the nurse left. Joshua walked to Eric's room. He wiped the tears away and walked in.

"Hey buddy, what's going on?" 

"I'm sorry Mr. Josh for being so mean." he said.

"Hey, it's ok. I understand now. You were helping yourself."

"Yeah. Daddy didn't love me."

"Hey, that's not your daddy. Your daddy was a good man before the bad drinks came into his life. After the bad drinks your daddy went away and this daddy came out instead. Your real daddy is in Heaven. His name is God; and whenever you’re scared, or are hurting. You can talk to him. He won't answer back to where you can hear him, but he's there." 

"Really?" said the boy crying.

"Really." Said Josh with tears in his eyes. The doctor came in.

"Are you really the boys brother?" 

"No sir, but to him I am. What's wrong?" 

"there's internal bleeding going on in the brain. We need to fix it. But it's not always possible. So if we can't…he'll die too. It's just too much for his age's skull." 

"So, first his mom dies and now him too?" 

"It's a possibility, yes." 

"great…I should have called the police sooner." Josh said primarily to himself.

"A nurse will come and get you when surgery is over." the doctor put a hand on his shoulder and walked out of the room.

"Mr. Josh, what's wrong?" asked Eric.

"Nothing bud. If you were to go see your real daddy tonight would that make you sad?" he asked.

"You mean go live with God?" he asked, his eyes getting a little bit brighter.

"Yes, to go live with God." Josh knew in his own way he was asking this 5 year old if he was ready to die.

"Oh, I'd love to, I'd really love to! Because I know that my real daddy wouldn't hurt me, or put me in this weird hopsical." 

"Hehe, yeah. I'm going to be right here when you come back ok?" Josh reassured Eric as Nurses prepped him for surgery.

"Ok." It took a half an hour for the other nurses to come and get him. 

"I'll be right here." He said while Eric was leaving.

"Wait." the nurses stopped. "If God's my real daddy, than you must be my real Brother." 

"What, why?" 

"Because I know that my real daddy sent you to me, so you could help me with my bad daddy."

"Yeah, that's exactly it. Love you buddy, see you afterwards ok?" Joshua said ruffling Eric's hair. 

"Ok big brother. I love you too." Josh sat in a chair and cried, knowing that was probably the last thing he'd hear from Eric.