Chapter Four

 

Chapter 4

 

I awoke in the hospital not sure what time it was or how long it had been. My mother was by my side crying and praying for me to pull through.

“mom?” I whispered.

“Oh thank you Jesus.” She said. “How do you feel? Do you need anything?” my mother asked.

“No, I’m fine how’s Miss Diane?” I asked.

“Oh hun, she didn’t make it.” My mother said.

“What?” I tried to say but barely a whisper.

“Well she was in the front seat, and it was an instant death. She didn’t feel any pain.” My mom told me. A tear went down my face.

“Don’t blame yourself Trinity.” My mother said.

“I don’t, there’s nothing I would have been able to do.” I just wish she could have been here longer, she was such a help with the youth group.” I said.

“Hey, what happened? Are you ok.” Emery came in practically running, doing pretty well for a blind kid.

“I’m fine Emery.” I said. But when I looked at his face a flash of the crash came into my head, the face I saw before it went black.

“Are you sure, I tried…” He caught himself from saying something else. “To get here faster.” He said, although it was clear that wasn’t what he was going to say originally.

“At least you made it.” I said forgetting about it.

“I’m just glad he decided…” He shook his head. “I’m glad your ok. That you’re not hurt.” He said tears coming to his eyes.

“Emery I’m fine, it’s not like I’m dying.” I said.

“DON’T SAY THAT!” He yelled. “I’m sorry, it’s just that, you easily could have. I need something to drink, I’m actually thirsty.” He muttered the last part.

“So go get something, I’m not going anywhere.” I said half jokingly.

“Yeah, ok.” He said leaving the room.

“That was weird.” I said to my mom.

“Yeah, he’s just concerned about you.” She said smiling.

“Mom, we’re not an item for the last time.” I said.

“Yeah, ok.” She said while turning to her magazine while rolling her eyes.

“Ugh.” I said rolling over. I started thinking about Miss Diane, well about life anyway. One minute we could be sitting there. And the next collapse dead. What did come after life? Was there Heaven and Hell? Or was it the end, nothing else afterwards? I was confused. Emery came back into the room.

“Can I get you anything?” He asked. “I mean just name it. I’ll get it.” He said.

“Well for starters you could get a chill pill.” I told him.

“Oh, ok I’ll go get you one.” He said running out of the room.

“Wait!” I said after him.” I tapped my fingers on the bed and waited for him to come back.” He came running back into the room.

“They don’t have any.” He said panting.

“Well Duh! What I want is for you to sit down and calm down.” I said to him.

“Oh.” He sighed and took a deep breath and sat down. “I’m sorry, I just am really happy your alive, I had to talk to him about you for a long time.” He kept going on and on.

“Emery, what are you talking about?” I asked. But he ignored me and kept babbling on.

“I have to convince him I care, that I can show his Love.” He said.

“Emery, you’re not making sense.” I said.

“I have to show God that I can. But what can I do? I don’t understand the lesson. What’s the lesson here God, what’s the lesson I must learn Father!” He started yelling.

“Wait, what? God, what about God?” I asked.

“He’s the one who blinded me. And from whom I must learn this lesson to gain it back.” He said. His eyes suddenly got very wide.

“What!? It was God? I don’t understand.” I said.

“You wouldn’t anyway. God is my father.” He said.

“But I thought God was everyone’s father?” I asked.

“He is, but he’s my actual Father, he didn’t impregnate anyone he just created me.” He said.

“I don’t understand.” I said.

“You wouldn’t. Look just be happy you’re alive, if it wasn’t for my begging.” He said, and with that walked out.

“Well that was weird.” I said. I looked to where my mom was sitting, and she was gone. She then walked into the room.

“Where’d you go?” I asked.

“I went to the little girl’s room.” She said.

“Oh, I didn’t even realize you had left.” I said.

“Oh, well Emery and you were talking.” She said.

“Yes. Well. I really don’t understand him.” I said. I mean, what did he mean just created by God. I mean that would make him what? An angel? No, that would be impossible. I mean it’d explain a lot of things, but I don’t think he is. I mean, why’d he take an interest in me? I rolled over. Trying to get my mind off things, but then started wondering, what he meant by begging God for me? None of this makes sense. I tried to sleep but so much was going through my mind. I was out of the hospital in a week. I went to church the next day, and the entire youth group was still crying. I didn’t feel like it was my fault I mean it was the gas. They got up and greeted me.

“I’m so glad you’re out of the hospital.” Said Amanda.

“Thanks.” I said.

“Hey Emery, thanks for everything.” I heard out of the corner.

“Don’t mention it Mrs. O’Neil. Really, don’t. I don’t need people knowing about me, I mean the fact you know is bad enough.” Emery said to Mrs. O’Neil.

“What you mean bad?” She said.

“It just is, ok?” He said.

“Ok. But thanks anyway.” She said. Church was closed with a memorial for Miss Diane. And a welcome back for me.

“I’m just…” I looked to Emery who had a very different look on his face. “Happy to be alive.” I said. Emery looked at me. I went home and stood at my father’s picture.

“Dad, I’m so confused about this kid. I don’t know what to think.” I said.

“Maybe he was sent by God to help you.” Came a voice. I turned and there was my mother.

“Do you know?” I asked.

“Know what?” My mother asked.

“About Emery and what he truly is?” I asked.

“Well, I know he’s a nice kid that protects people.” It was that sentence where it really clicked. My mom walked out of my room, and I turned back to my father’s portrait.

“Hey Dad, do you believe in Guardian Angels?” I must look like an idiot talking to my father’s portrait, but it helps me think, it’s like sorting things out. Although, I am probably exaggerating the whole Emery situation. He can’t be an angel, cause come on a blind guardian angel? But maybe it’s what he said, he has to learn this lesson. But why would God punish his own worker? God really is confusing. I walked into school the next day and Emery was already at his desk.

“Hey.” I said. But he said nothing. “Sorry I freaked on ya last night.” I tried. But still nothing. “oh, so it’s the silent treatment huh?” I asked.

“No.” Was all he said.

“Then why not talk to me?” I asked.

“Because there’s no convincing you.” He said. There was no smiling on his part today, and I must admit, I was starting to miss it.

“Oh.” I said. I wanted to cry for some stupid reason. I went through out the day trying to catch him with his melting smile, but it was no good. I started walking home and got half way there when I heard.

“Sorry.” I turned and there was Emery.

“For what?” I asked a little down.

“For being so rude today. Just because I’m having a hard time, doesn’t mean I should take it out on you.” He said looking down at his feet.

“It’s ok.” was all I could say.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked me.

“I’m not sure.” I said.

“I don’t buy that.” He said.

“well, it’s a mixed emotion. I feel like we’re good friends…”

“And we are.” He said. “Sorry continue.”

“But I also feel like I can’t go on without seeing you at school, or looking into those eyes that for someone who’s blind is very full of life, and I absolutely feel like I can’t live without seeing that melting smile that you give every day, except for today, and if I don’t see it or you, I feel like I want to cry and it’s stupid and I don’t know how to explain it. It drives me crazy!” I just exploded. He gave that (and dare I be clichéish) Killer smile.

“THANK YOU!” I hugged him and started crying.

“Why are crying?” He said while laughing.

“I don’t know.” I sobbed.

“Well, please don’t cry.” He said seriously now.

“Why?” I asked still sniffing.

“Because it makes me sad. Like I feel your pain.” He said with no smile.

“No, please don’t stop smiling.” I said.

“Sorry. But I feel like crying with you. Like your sadness is rubbing off on me.” He smiled. “But as long as it makes you happy.” He said smiling away while tears went down his face.

“Why are you crying?” I asked.

“I said, because you are.” He said. “I don’t know how else to explain it.” He said hugging me tighter. I finally looked up and realized I was home.

“Hey, weren’t we only half way here and we weren’t moving.” I said.

“That’s also hard to explain. But I will all in due time.” He said wiping his eyes. Then taking his hand and wiping mine.

“Well, I’d really like to hear it sometime.” I said looking into his eyes.

“You know, for a blind kid, your eyes are so. So beautiful and mesmerizing.” I said not knowing I was leaning closer. He all of a sudden bent in and kissed me. I gasped and took a step back. “Wha, what was that for?” I asked.

“I, I don’t know. I’ve never felt that feeling, and I felt like it’s what you wanted me to do.” I was stunned.“Well, it was but. I wasn’t sure if it’s what you wanted…so I.” He stopped me. He kissed me again and said.“By the way, guardian angels exist.” and then *poof* I was standing in my front entry way. “Wow, that was…amazing.” I said out loud. “What was amazing?” My mother asked. I couldn’t think. “Huh? Oh, uh nothing.” I quickly said and ran up to my room. “Oh dad, I’m not confused anymore, I really like Emery. I feel like I couldn’t live a day without seeing him, oh dad is this how you felt with mom?” I slid to my floor smiling and laughing, I couldn’t explain this feeling.