Forever Love

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow, Don't walk behind me, I may not lead, Just walk beside me and be my friend!

Now that we are not together,
Separated like the bird from its feather.
The chapter of our friendship ends here,
Pictures and messages left to stare.
Guess it wasn't meant to be,
The best of friends we once thought we would be.
Yes no doubt it pains and hurts,
But sorrow to happiness I'm trying to convert.
There are people who took my place.
Long ago I got replacd.
Tried my best to keep that smile on ur face,
Let it stay, your lips are the best place.
To me you were like my little child,
Couldn't tolerate your pain even if it was mild.
I still love you with the same grace,
My arms are open for you to embrace.
I dont regret parting away,
Only miss you when I watch the leaves sway.
Rain is what reminds me of u,
Tears fall like the drops of dew.
Miss you when I hear the word Best Friend,
And I remember sadly how everything came to an end.
But this is life, will have to move on,
Make new memories and cherish the ones that r gone!

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the sentiment is wonderful here...but in poetry, really should avoid text language....that is appropriate for its own use...but poetry is for the love of words, real words...complete words.

just a suggestion...i think you have some good thoughts to put to poetry...and you have good rhythm in your pieces.

[Anahat]

Thankuu so much...n yes ur absolutly correct....poetry is definitly for the love of words...
Will take care of it the next time!
Thankuu :) Grateful

[The StoryTeller]

I think this is full of emotion and sentiment, I love how you didn't just say the emotions but said how it felt and connected it to nature, "Rain is what reminds me of you." Your flow is smooth and blends together well line from line while still saying what you want to say and showing the depth of emotion you feel. We all have friends that it hasn't worked out. The point is not to let it drive you down. Memories are good, as long as you can still live. I agree, just walk beside me. :) I'd say don't use text message in poetry, but that's up to you. Otherwise great job! This is my first poem I've read by you and I want to read more! And I will! Keep writing! :p

[Anahat]

I edited all text messg words..idk of its still there...u see the world of cell phones have spoiled us😝 but yeah iv stopped writin in text lang! Thank youu for such a beautiful review!❤️

[The StoryTeller]

Lol, it's not really a beautiful review. Just a normal guy with a normal review. :p But yeah, beautiful poem, and I'm still looking at some of your other work. It's all been amazing and beautiful as I've read it, and very light. You probably wouldn't want to read my stuff, I have more dark than light. That's another reason why I love your work so much.

[Anahat]

I wud definitely love to read your work! And I will surely...it completely depends on the way you think you know...but anything straight from the heart touches the heart! So thats not a problem i guess!😄

[The StoryTeller]

Agreed :) Keep writing!

[raj24]

i m fan of ur writing...ur rhyming..uff...u r too good...love, separation and hope its all there, well wishes and lost memories...love is a beautiful picture..in love with something again n this times its ur words..:)

Raj

[Anahat]

Your reviews are just amazing...They make me fall in love with my writing over and over!!
Thankyou for the lovely words! They mean a lot..
~Love Anahat

[raj24]

every time i read my old works...i wonder. kya ye sab maine likha hai..i mean we never realize how good we r ..n ur poems r wonderful..flawless...:)

[Saddam]

Miss you wen I hear d word Best Friend,
And I remember sadly howv evrythng came to
an end.

Absolutely a fantastic write. Ah.... You just touch my heart....

[Anahat]

Thnkxx aton...m glad my writin touched ur heart!
Means alot! Keep reviewin :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Wow, this is really powerful, Anahat. I love the concern that you show through this poem about losing the friend. You have two different thoughts. For one, you will miss all of the precious memories and laughs together. For two, they have betrayed you and you cannot think of why you would want to stick around anymore. I have had friends in my life that had me split in half on how I exactly felt towards them. In this poem, I can feel the anger and the sadness. As you said, this is life. We must move on and make new friends and cherish the ones that are gone. You have done such a beautiful job. I love this poem very much. I must say I am becoming a fan of yours. I would not say that this is horrible; not one bit. As Jacob said, poetry should never been in text language. It sort of distracted me from the message, as I tried to figure out which word meant.

Here are some suggested revisions:

"Now that we are not together, -this is fine as it is. :D
Separated like the bird frm its feather. Separated like the bird from its feather.
The chpter of our friendship ends here, The chapter of our friendship ends here,
Pictures n messages left to stare. This needs something extra to it. It is not complete.
Guess it wasnt meant to be, Guess it was not meant to be.
The best of friends we onc thot we wud b. The best of friends we once thought we would be.
Yes no doubt it pains n hurts, Leave off the word "pains". Doesn't make sense.**
But sorrow to happiness m trying to convert. Leave off but; Sorrow to happiness I am trying to convert
Thre r ppl who took my place. There are people who took my place,
Long ago I got replacd. Long ago I got replaced.
Tried my best to keep dat smile on ur face, Tried my best to keep the smile on your face,
Let it stay, ur lips r the best place. Let it stay; your lips are the best place.
To me u were like my little child, To me you were like my little child,
Cudnt tolerate ur pain evn if it ws mild. Could not tolerate your pain even if it was mild.
I still love you with the same grace, this line is fine as is.
My arms are open fr u to embrace. My arms are open for you to embrace.
I dont regret parting away, I do not regret parting away,
Only miss you wen I watch the leaves sway. Only miss you when I watch the leaves sway.
Rain is wat reminds me of u, Rain is what reminds me of you,
Tears fall like d drops of dew. Tears fall like the drops of dew.
Miss you wen I hear d word Best Friend, Miss you when I hear the word "best friend"(add emphasis)
And I remember sadly howv evrythng came to an end And I remember sadly how everything came to an end
But this is life, will have to move on, fine as is.
Make new memories and cherish the omes dat r gone! Make new memories and cherish the ones that are gone.

P.S.-A few writers on this website has in the past told me that it was more formal to not use contractions. It is also up to the writer if they choose to or not. I have decided not to add any contractions. Great job otherwise. Hope that this review was helpful. :)

[Anahat]

Oh my God....a big thnkuu...took out so much of ur tym to entirely corrct evry line
shows thr r ppl who r intrstd actually in gvng suggstns! Glad u loved it....
Ur review means alot....thnku :)

[Anahat]

And m really glad ur becomin my fan...hehe....sounds so awsm! U have a fan added to ur fanliat...read moreAnd m really glad ur becomin my fan...hehe....sounds so awsm! U have a fan added to ur fanliat...
Feels gud to heart the same fr me too...:)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Hahaha yes of course. I wanted to help you out. I do like your writing. It is awesome. :) Thank you.

[Anahat]

Thankxxx....i do appreciate :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

You are welcome :))

[Anahat]

Let me know if u find my writing gud...do comment...will b obliged! :)