Chapter 1

Chapter 1

                    

High School was hell for me. I go to, or I guess I can finally say went to, one of those high schools full of people constantly trying to impress one another, get laid and get as drunk as possible to forget their miserable lives that haven’t even begun yet. They say high school is the best four years of your life -- well I f*****g hope not. But, I guess, if nothing else, it is finally over.

 

            “Mackenzie, are you ready yet?”

            “Just a sec, mom…”

            High school was finally over. I keep telling myself this as I recheck my makeup in the mirror. I just need to get through the next few hours. You’d think after giving them four years of your life they’d be kind enough to just give you your diploma, but no they have to make you dance for it, wearing excessive gowns and completing an overrated ceremony just to impress parents.

            I guess I can understand for college when you’ve actually accomplished something, but just for high school? It’s frustrating.  I need to get out of here, the fall is too far away. I don’t want to go to school for another few hours, I’ve spent so much energy there I just want to be done.

            I can’t do this.

            I can’t do this.

            But I need to do this. Just one more time.

            But is it such a big deal? I already got accepted into an Ivy League School, why should I bother.

            I’m not going.

            I can’t do it.

            It’s not worth this

            My mood suddenly escalates and I cannot control myself.

I don’t want to see the people that picked on me for the time I cried in class.

I rip my hanging mirror off the wall and throw it at the ground.

It shatters and pieces fall everywhere.

The people that bullied me into doing their homework.

Seven years bad luck. Try a lifetime.

I don’t want to see the guy who forced me into having sex with him parade around, being congratulated.

I start pulling books off their shelves and throw them at the wall.

I smash my lamp.

Kick my desk.

            My mum comes crashing into my room, and I collapse. I curl up with my back against the wall and just cry.

            “What’s going on hun?” my mum asks. I just continue to cry.

Reviews

[Aiben Aero]

I really like to see stories that deliver a real representation of what sick people have to go through in life, not really big events but the small snippets that make up most of anyone's day, but to be honest I didn't get hooked with the chapter and that's mostly due to self preference actually and not bad writing.

These kinds of events in one's teenage days are not things that I'm culturally familiar with, thus I can't connect entirely with how important, not important, good, or bad it is. But I did see this kind of scenario many times in movies, TV series, book...etc, and this chapter feels like one of them.

Now what I think is a stereotypical and repetitive way of telling a story maybe in the end is how the teenage life really is in your culture. I Keep saying this chapter and not story because maybe in other chapters there will be a hook that I can relate to and makes me feel invested in the story. Maybe you can prove me wrong in the upcoming chapters, but for this one I can't say that it was interesting to me.

I hope I helped, and I hope you improve.

[DayDreamerAmber]

This is interesting. The opening line is is ok I kinda want to know more with the opening sentence. But the lines after that get me hooked and I want to know about this persons life.

[Harley Sapphire]

Okay thank you for the great feedback! I will see what I can do with the opening line :)

[DayDreamerAmber]

Sorry if that came off a bit harsh. Your story is interesting though.

[Harley Sapphire]

No, that didn't come off harsh at all, I really don't take things personally haha thank you for the feedback! It is much appreciated!

[Justin]

that is a really great start :) you are setting everything up for more to come :)

[Harley Sapphire]

Thank you! Do you think the formatting is okay? Like does it make sense?

[Justin]

your welcome, the format is awesome, it set up really great :) it all makes sense, it is someone's journey through life