"But he loves me."

My first go at poetry any input would help

  No one tells you to brace your heart for the breaking

  The many nights you lie awake surrounded by darkness

  Hours of suffering and mindless aching

  Laying next to the one your heart yearns for

  Knowing that his heart is elsewhere

  His entire body shut like a prison door

  Morning arrives and you hurry to shower

  tiptoeing quietly, swiftly, anxiously

  Knowing not to wake him at this hour

  Your phone rings and you freeze

  His body moves heavily,you hear snores

  You feel a splendid ease

 

  You were wrong, he's awake.

  He's up and walking towards the bathroom

  Begging and pleading for goodness sake

  The first blow to the face stings

  He continues angrily, You're in trouble

  Your face is swelling, your ear rings

  Finally It's over, He's done

 You feel numb, empty, broken

  It's all your fault, in the long run

  You want to leave, you want hide

  A roller coaster of feelings

  You hate living on this ride

  You're parents beg you to see

  You defend him constantly

  "but he loves me."

 

   

Reviews

[Wandering Monk]

The poem is lacking but the message is powerful.
You know how to put it out there.
Try different genre until you find your niche.
It will be evident.
As I've said before, use the power you've gained from the experiences you've had
in conveying other messages. Be careful not to tell your story over and over.

I've rewritten your poem - I can't help myself.
I'm not that fond of poetry.

No one told me to brace my heart for breaking
For countless nights of wakeful darkness
Or hours of suffering, of mindless aching

Lying next to one your heart’s a yearning
His body here but warm no more
Whose heart has fled with no returning.

Morning here you rush to shower
Tiptoe quiet, swift, and anxious
Afraid to he’ll wake, but not this hour

Phone rings loud, you fear and freeze
His body moves, he turns and snores
You feel a splendorous ease.

But wrong you were, he’s wide awake
He’s up and rage brims from his brow
But beg and plead does not assuage.

The first blow falls on face to sting
Blow upon blow will trouble end
Face swells, head hurts, ears ring.

The vent complete at last he’s done
Broken, numb, and empty felt.
The fault is yours so says this Don

To save your life, to run, to hide
Emotions on roller coaster reels
There is no living on this ride

Parents plead your reason to see
You rise and stand with false defense
You say with doubt, But, he loves me."

[alyssaruth_3]

This is beautiful. And tragic. Amazingly written. I'm so sorry if this ever happened to you.

[Stephen]

Wow! very impressive...I can definitely feel what you are feeling in this poem. I hope this is not happening to you....But thanks for sharing...it really is good

[harleyleona]

it was my reality for a long time actually

[Stephen]

Sorry to hear that....No body deserves to be treated like that. I hope that you have gotten out of that situation now?

[harleyleona]

yes have been away from him 2 years now

[Stephen]

Good to hear...