Blog: Finding love after being with a schizophrenic narcissist

My Journey to a healthy relationship

       It has been months since I've graced this site with my presence and so much for me has changed, when I left you I was dealing with a very strenuous relationship with my son's father, however times are changing. Shortly after I wrote my last post a cut all ties with "the wolf" my life has changed amazingly.

       I met a man and I mean a real man, one who puts my son and I before himself, a man who wakes to make me smile, a man who has swept me off my feet and stolen my heart completely, I don't mean to gush on, but I've found my soul mate.

     However, I will not say it has been easy. Especially not for him. He deals with my past. He has to brace my storm of accusations, because the one before him broke my trust, broke me. He has come to pick up the pieces and he had no idea where to start. I would like to state now before I go on that I've recently been diagnosed with not one, but three mental disorders; severe anxiety, bipolar disorder, and depression. Being with a broken girl is hard, being with a broken girl who has mental disorders is damn near treacherous. He never gave up on me, through the nightmares, through the panic attacks, the random outburst of tears for no apparent reason, or when I told him that I wasn't ready to be with him. He stayed with me, wiped my tears, held me while I shook, and even when I swore I didn't love him he stayed my friend.

     Months have gone by and my conditions have been well managed by therapy and I'm fully off medicine, I don't have my panic attacks or crying fits. Writing has been a big part of my therapy and my son has been my number one motivator to get better. My problems aren't gone I just no longer let them control my life. On valentine's day this year I was asked a shocking question and I answered with tears in my eyes, "YES!". I am more than proud to say that I will be marrying this amazing man in a year.

Side note: I mentioned I had mental disorders, I do not want anyone to think that my ability to be a mother was weakened. I have always been great at hiding my problems so my son can have an amazing life.