My knuckles

And my knuckles have bled since my first fight


Kindergarten and oh so young, I was so bright.


But a small flame began to light


And since that horrid cold night


Not a day goes by I don’t fight.


Yeah my knuckles have bled since I was shorter than 4'5 


And when I was taller than 5'3 I began using a knife


I forgot the little badass living inside me
 something I lost sight of, something I couldnt see


The warrior inside of me.


And I couldn’t figure out who I was supposed to be,
6 months ago I turned 17


Something I dreamed of when I spent my nights awake


And everyday my smile was fake.
I hid cuts and scars under sleeves,


Because i didn’t know my daddy loved me.


Because I didnt know my friends were really there


i didnt think, anyone sincerely cared


And I learned the hard way that life’s not fair,


No, no one warned me of its troubles


And now im buried under life’s ruble. 


Beginning to see double 


Until I looked up, and saw the moon


He whispered to me, “Darling It’s too soon for you” 


And I breathed again.


Now i’ve fought and lost,


Against woman and men.


Yeah I’ve fought and won,


And these things had to be done


Sometimes I feel the flame engulf me


And my entire soul,


Filling an empty hole,
I’d say f**k it, and smoke a bowl.


Days come and go


Some worse some slow.


I struggle to take ragged breaths,


And screamed when i heard my best friend had done meth.


Out off all the s**t in the world


And i’m more scared to be your girl.


Through hell and back, multiple times


Has me sitting here spitting pointless rhymes.


And my phone is bugging out, so many n****s looking for dimes,


As my best friend does lines.
I should of known I’d end up here


Sitting on the porch drinking a beer


And I can’t remember the last time I felt fear


Because what is there to be scared of when you’ve conquered the biggest one.


Nothing, nothing to fear, and life should be fun.


Don’t get me wrong,


I laugh and sing to lonely songs


And hit pretty pretty bongs


But I cant help but wonder how long
Is this feeling going to last


Time goes by so fast.


He looked at me and smiled with blood shot eyes
“You’re mind…” He tries


Shaking his head,
I smiled and say “go to bed”


But you can’t because you’re on too much


And we both don’t have good luck


But isnt the luckiest thing that we found each other?


Despite him, despite her.


You found me, and I found you.


And now its like we don’t know what to do,


But you tap my wrist,


And I clench my fist


“Day by Day” my grandmother words


Lets take life the way it should,
The way she would,
If she ever got the chance,


To live again.


Theres a little badass in me,


That I couldn’t see


For years on end.


Theres a warrior fighting inside me


And it needs to be seen


To feel real.


Listen to me speal


About myself Like im conceded 


But I swear its not all in my head


And im not all about me
 s**t other people see


And point out, who I’m going to be


I notice the warrior inside me


I feel her strength


The urgency to win, to survive”

Author's Note

Spelling could be way off, i was really high when i wrote this.