Lost and Found (Chapter Four)

 

Pulling into the small parking lot I was awash with reminiscence as I pulled my gaze over the student body. As if I was using radar I spotted them, the black clad kids I would've most likely been friends with if I was indeed a student at this school. It must be an innate sense, I thought, a reflex, a survival skill even, to be able to so quickly find one's own among unfamiliar faces. And there they were, most wearing black tee shirts and baggy dark blue denim or black bondage pants, as if they were adhering to some unspoken dress code. Ah, they were so typical, yet so comforting for someone who hadn't been to a public school in nearly a year.

 

I could only hope they were true punks and freaks and nothing like the hierarchal fashion goths I had the displeasure of meeting at Foxtown's snobby upper crust high school. They had not been at all what I had been looking for; they were simply rich boys and girls playing dress-up and pretending to be tortured souls for the sake of fashion.

 

But these people before me were different, or so I hoped. They had deep and carefully hidden issues they both broadcasted unconsciously and kept hidden and were accepting to all those different from them in hopes of finding someone to ease their many pains. That kind of acceptance was a novelty in today's society and high school culture in general. All you had to do to get in their good graces was to defy societal norms and assert yourself as a member of the counter-culture.

 

The thing I really liked about high school counter-culture was it's innocence and that it had not yet become jaded by the real world's demands of conformity. It had a sort of mystical purity that made you stand in awe when you first came across it.

 

And I did just that as I got out of my car and began to approach the already thinning group of friends. I was wearing my favorite old shirt, the one that had got me so many “oh Julius, you look so sexy” comments on myspace back when I had had a constant source of internet access. It was a slim black tee, just tight enough to show off my slender, yet evenly muscled and well toned chest. It had a Wicked Angel concert poster printed on it from a show they had performed back in 2001. In the poster two skeletons picked apples from a tree and above the scene were the words “original sin”. The scene appeared as if it had been printed in bleach, shifting from a light brown to a darker brown near the bottom.

 

With it a wore one of the new pairs of skate pants I had received the day before, Matt Baker signature jeans, well faded and full of subtle detail. I had needed a belt to keep them up but luckily the one I had matched well with my shirt. They were tight in the upper leg, showing the remains of thick, toned muscle I had earned by spending so much of my time on the streets in Vegas. Lower down they flared hiding my thin, yet previously sculpted calves.

 

Honestly, I thought I looked damn good. Best to go in with sex appeal and confidence when you're trying to make a good first impression. But no amount of good looks could overwhelm my inner nervousness. This must be how Rosemary felt yesterday morning.

 

Slowing as I approached the first group, I took time to listen to their conversation. A girl, kind of short and thin but not at all puny, in tight black bondage with red plaid straps making an x just below her generous yet cute butt, was talking excitedly about seeing a band at “the civics center” with another boy in the group. I didn't catch the band's name but I assumed it was local from the name of the venue. The rest of the group was only half listening to her and most were carrying their own conversations. The girl was on the opposite side of the group from me, yet from her excited tone I could hear her most clearly. Apparently this was her first show and she had really enjoyed it. Good, that means there's probably local talent here to get excited about.

 

She paused as I entered the edge of the circle. Her eyes roamed over me with what seemed to be uncharacteristic silence. Many of the other people turned to look as well, including the boy she had been talking to. He was medium height and build, his thin glasses giving him the vague air of bookwormishness. The oil spot near the crotch of his pants and the dirt and faint grass stains around his knees gave me a differing view. He was a little to active to be a full on nerd, his arms build a little to heavy from what I assumed was manual labor. His facial features were thin and overall he wasn't gorgeous, but still handsome none the less. My eyes ran over his slightly baggy shirt, wondering if the chest underneath was soft, or firm, like his arms. Of all the people in the group, he was the first to speak.

 

“Who are you?” His words were blunt and to the point; his tone vaguely harsh and accusatory, yet his eye shone with a glimmer of interest that was almost sexual. I wondered if he knew the glimmer was there, or if he himself had put it there intentionally.

 

“J... Dean.” I fumbled with the new name, but no one seemed to notice.

 

“Dean,” he seemed to try the name on for size as he paused before telling me his, “I'm Ian, and this is Rachel.” He pointed to the girl who had been so loud earlier. Now she was looking half towards me and half towards the ground, awkward and silent. “Are you new? I haven't seen you around here before.”

 

“Yeah, just started Monday.” Ian nodded and turned back to Rachel. It was as if a floodgate had opened as the rest of the group rushed in to introduce themselves and ask questions.

 

After the feeding frenzy had ended I found myself talking to a attractive girl named Kitty. As we talked we moved further away from the group until we were an island unto ourselves. Kitty had fierce, dark red, shoulder length hair and beautiful dark green eyes that shone like cut emeralds in the dark with only the faintest of light shining in on them. Her shirt was cut low to show off her fabulous cleavage, though I tried my best not to notice. Her face was equally pleasing to look at with it's full features and her pouty lips that moved almost entrancingly as she talked. Her temperment fit her name almost perfectly as she was often equal parts curious and playful. Conversationally, she was delightfully quirky, and the conversation remained interesting and funny until she saw her car and said she had to go. What was most interesting, though, was the subtle flirting that went on between and occasionally during our words. Kitty was a beautiful, primal force and I couldn't help but want to tame her. And more.

 

As she walked away she gave a final turn, smiling as she noticed that I had been watching her leave, and blew me a kiss. My face was warm and I knew I must be blushing. D****t, I hope I don't have a goofy a*s grin on my face. I wouldn't want her to know that she had won.

 

A kid who had introduced himself as Tweak knelt beside me and gave me a funny smile as he put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, an almost confused look on my face. “I think she likes ya man.” He said and walked off after her with a wave goodbye. I looked at my watch then looked around me. I still had another fifteen minutes and everyone that had once been over here had left. I stood up and made my way over to the small parking lot the parents had lined their cars up in. It's gonna be hell getting out of here.

 

Approaching the pavement I noticed a familiar face sitting on the curb, two in fact. One was Ian and beside him was Rachel. They were about twenty feet to the left of me and Ian turned to me as I approached. He stood and walked towards me, catching me just before I hit the pavement.

 

“Dean,” he called out softly, when he was close.

 

“Yeah?” What could he want? And further, did it have something to do with that gleam in his eye earlier?

 

Ian looked me over, taking me in with his eyes before he spoke. “Nothing...” The words trailed off as he looked at his feet and then over his shoulder to Rachel, who was lost in a doodle she was working on in a wire bound sketchpad. That must be his girlfriend. It explained all of their body language between each other perfectly. Ian clearly didn't know what to make of me, or the feeling he had when he first saw me. He had a boy crush and he didn't know what to do with it; he didn't know if he could do anything with it at all because of his girlfriend. I smiled pleasantly as he walked back over to her. She looked up at him, a curious expression present on her face. I wonder if she noticed it too.

 

It took me nearly ten minutes to get to the elementary school parking lot even though it was no more than maybe five hundred yards away. Rosemary was waiting for me. She got in the car with the brilliant smile of a child on her face.

 

“Guess what, Julius?” Not waiting for me to answer she continued on, “I made a friend today.” The rest of the ride home she told me about the girl who had come up to her on the playground and stared talking to her. It sounded like the way I usually broke the ice with a cute girl. I laughed at the connection as I pulled into the parking space across from our apartment.

 

Dinner was quickly made and even more quickly eaten. Afterwards Rosemary and I sat down for a cup of evening tea, both of us grinning as we sipped. Flashing each other smiles as we drank away, we both giggled at each other, each wondering why the other was smiling so. Frankly, I wasn't sure why I was smiling myself. I knew it had to do with my new friends, or that Rosemary was finally making friends. Maybe it was the girl I had flirted with or even the boy who had wanted to flirt with me. Or any combination of those things or even more. How was I supposed to know, my mind was aflutter with excitement.

 

About two days later things started to heat up on the school front, Kitty was becoming my little lap kitten; she was spending more and more time touching me in some way, often as subtle as holding my hand or having an arm around me. At other times she kept close by, as if she was afraid someone would swoop in and steal me if she didn't. By touching me, she seemed to be marking me as her own, which lead to rising tension in the group, especially with Ian.

 

Ian made it a special point to make it seem as if he wasn't bothered by her proximity to me, but it rang clear in his eyes the the two of us being together made him nervous. This point came to a head when Kitty left on that Friday.

 

Ian stood ten feet away making idle conversation and pretending not to notice that I was alone. Meanwhile most everyone was gone, leaving us almost alone besides Tweak, who I am talking to, and the person Ian was talking to. It was almost time for me to leave and I really had to pee so I ask Tweak where the nearest bathroom is and he points to the building directly behind us. I thank him and begin to make my way to the front of the building, glancing over my shoulder to notice that Ian had stood up abruptly during his conversation, excusing himself and beginning to follow. Interesting, the chase is on.

 

Entering the building and quickly finding the bathroom I paused at the doorway and looked back to see if he had followed. He was taking his time, slowly walking to the building's front doors, trying his best to be inconspicuous. I went into the bathroom and used the closest urinal to the door, wondering how much further he was planning to follow. After waiting in the bathroom for a moment without his appearance, I decided he had not been following me at all, and that it was just a wishful figment of my imagination. However, as I walked out the bathroom door, I realized I wasn't just imagining things when I saw Ian pretending to be sipping at the water fountain. He turned as he saw me exiting the bathroom, his expressive eyes awash with excitement.

 

“Hello Dean.”

 

“You wanted to talk to me?” His eyes widened in surprise, then, in an effort to appear calm, as if I had not just revealed the motives he had been trying so hard to conceal. His attempt to look normal just made him look intensely nervous. “What's wrong, there's no reason to be nervous.” I stepped closer, unnaturally close for a pair of straight men; luckily though, we weren't. He forced a shy grin from his face and tried to look serious and unaffected. He wanted to look like he didn't want this, but it was quite clear from his myriad of complex expressions that he did. I continued to step closer. In nervous reaction he stepped backwards, pinning himself to the water fountain. Realizing his mistake he smiled nervously.

 

“I thought you were...” His lips trembled as he spoke, I could feel building submission inside of him that was tugging gingerly at the most dominating aspects of my personality. I inched forward, enjoying to increasing nearness of our bodies.

 

“I'm full of surprises.” I leaned forward and up and laid a kiss on his forehead. Not what he was surely expecting, but it gave him a clear idea of my intentions. I then backed up and casually walked away before he could realize how nervous I had become so quickly. Better to be a seductive tease and maintain my veil of dominance than to allow him to notice that my nerves were as shot as his. Plus, on top of all of that, I had really enjoyed playing the mysterious stranger after drab work at the car wash and fatherhood had kept me tied down for so long. The whole incident was a truly liberating experience.

 

Walking out the door I turned my head ever so slightly to say, "If you ever play poker you might want to invest in some shades. Your eyes are your biggest tell." I smiled slightly, then turned and left.

 

Walking away I laughed as I realized I was playing hard to get and the seductive enchantress at one time. Moreover, I just felt damn sexy to have had that effect on him and I practically strutted to my car.