Deadlines make me stronger

101 Agonies of the Writer

DEADLINES ONLY MAEK MEH STRONGAH.

(Or: how to be a decent writer.)

 

1.     Blame whomever you want, it’s still not good enough.

2.     Read

3.     Deny truth and believe only fiction.

4.     Read

5.     Who gives an a*s about deadlines anyway?

6.     Read

7.     Blame Word. Doc.

8.     Read

9.     Sleep is for the weak.

10. Read

11. Get a handle on ‘Garden of the forking paths.’

12. Read

13. Get confused about ‘Garden of the forking Paths.’

14. Read

15. Give up on Garden of the forking Paths.’

16. Read

17. Write.

18. Read

19. Write more.

20. Read

21. Fall asleep at the f*****g keyboard.

22. Read

23. Nobody likes the critic.

24. Read

25. Everyone loves the critic.

26. Read

27. No one can find a critic.

28. Read

29. Your best work cannot even compare to the asshair of JR. Tolken, Toole, Burgess, or Zeta.

30. Read

31. This is fact.

32. Read

33. Who needs sleep anyway?

34. Read

35. Question things.

36. Read

37. Lie.

38. Read

39. Five days after the due date is still an acceptable due date.

40. Read

41. Be very good at bullshitting.

42. Read

43. Forgot yourself.

44. Read

45. Hate things.

46. Read

47. Hate yourself.

48. Read

49. Believe in nothing.

50. Read

51. Hope.

52. Read

53. Fall from it.

54. Read

55. Land in denial.

56. Read.

57. Run.

58. Read

59. Faster.

60. Read.

61. Farther.

62. Read

63. Don’t stop.

64. Read

65. Keep going.

66. Read

67. Outpace it.

68. Read

69. Never stop.

70. Read

71. Never submit.

72. Read

73. Nothing is sacred.

74. Read

75. No one is safe.

76. Read

77. It catches up in the end.

78. Read

79. Leave your mark.

80. Read

81. Leave your impression.

82. Read

83. Memories are all they have.

84. Read

85. Weep

86. Read.

87. Read.

88. Read.

89. Read.

90. Read.

91. Read.

92. Read.

93. Read.

94. Read.

95. Read.

96. Read.

97. Read.

98. Read.

99. Read.

100.                 Now you write.

101.                            Now you see.

102.                                        Now you end.