The Maze

This is what I would imagine insanity is like: being caged within one's own mind, unable to escape the darkness.

I am trapped here,

Among the hazy walls,

Listening to the whispers,

Familiar in some way,

But far too distant.

I proceed forward,

Unsure of the path ahead,

But I go anyway,

Closer to the voices,

Hoping to find their owners.

I pick up my pace,

But the faster I go,

The farther they get,

Until they melt away,

Silent once again.

I keep on running,

Hope driving me forward,

But still they elude me,

A flicker of self-doubt,

And there they are again.

Faster and faster,

(I have found them at last!)

Following the winding path,

Between the great walls,

Hoping beyond hope.

Blinded by my joyful tears,

I hit the wall before me,

And fall backwards, hard,

Completely disoriented,

Hope fading away.

I can still hear them,

Even through the cloud,

And they become clearer,

Ever so slightly,

As the dizziness passes.

I can finally see straight,

And stare at the wall,

Listening intently,

The whispers still foggy,

But strangely clearer.

They are so close now,

I can feel them somehow,

Just beyond the wall,

Calling out to me!

I must get to them!

I can see the top,

Just above the mist,

And I start climbing up,

But to my surprise,

I am no closer.

I climb further,

Working slowly at first,

But with no progress,

Faster and faster I go,

So close yet so far away.

I lose my grip on the wall,

And plummet down again,

Hitting the ground,

The piercing crack

Of broken bones.

I try to sit up,

But the pain drives me back,

Making me scream,

Cry out in pure agony,

And lie still once more.

I call for help,

And no one comes,

(I must try again!)

So I call once more,

But to no avail.

I begin to cry now,

As I lay there helplessly,

Hoping for relief,

Praying for it even,

But it escapes me.

Now I just scream,

No longer concerned with help,

Just screaming to scream,

Simply to block out

The pain in my bones.

(I"ll never get out!)

(There is no hope anymore!)

(I'm all alone here!)

My thoughts race away,

Far beyond my reach.

The pain begins to fade,

Dulling to nothingness,

A dark and endless oblivion,

Never to return,

A feeling of pure numb.

Now I know the truth,

The Maze is inescapable,

Locked in an evil world,

Where only I exist,

Utterly alone.

Author's Note

Once again, I'm concerned with the flow and coherence. Any advice?

Reviews

[Sherry]

This is *really* good. See its not just the malice of the Maze that I like, its also that you balanced the poem so perfectly, didn't run away with it. If you're worried about the organization, dont be - its spot on. I love that it escalated midway, and the line 'just screaming to scream' hit the note with me. That whole stanza, in fact, is pretty sweet. I would love to read more of your work, really psyched. Oh and I may be wrong, but I think in the first stanza's last line, 'to' ought to be 'too'. Cheers.

[Jared Michael Smith]

Thanks for the review and your positive words of encouragement. And also for catching my grammar mistake. :-)