Are We Family?

I know the idea haunts you,

but I wish it didn't have to.

You'd close the curtains so they don't see her;

someone like me couldn't be your daughter.

Can I leave the closet?

I wish I could pause it,

flip a switch, turn it on or off.

I know you will just scoff.

How you would stomp and yell

if I decided to tell.

But I'll stay behind closed doors,

hoping to avoid wars.

I know I can never leave

'else dear mother has to grieve.

Are you ashamed of me?

I just want my family.

Author's Note

This is something I've been afraid to talk about for so long. I would love to hear suggestions on how to improve the poem. It's been brought to my attention that the meaning might not be too clear.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I was friends (via texting) with a young lady for a couple years recently . . . she claimed her parents disowned her & did not want any of their high-falutin' associates to know they had a daughter . . . I believed her for years, but then eventually decided she was catfishing me. However, your poem reminds me of those times when I truly believed she was in this situation of being totally shunned by her famous family & I constantly tried to imagine how that might feel, or why any parents would do that.

Your message conveys how it seemed to feel for this person, living a similar situation. I love the question: "Can I leave the closet?" I have to confess -- it feels like you're reaching for a few of the rhymes . . . in particular, this section doesn't blend with your overall message as well:
"Can I leave the closet?
I wish I could pause it,
flip a switch, turn it on or off.
I know you will just scoff."

[Hannah]

Thanks barleygirl. I did have some trouble getting the rhyming to work well.

[BABAJAGA]

If you want answers go to god

[Hannah]

You're right. God does always have the answer. But I'm not an ungodly person. I've been religious my whole life. I've prayed ever since I could speak. But I can't help what I am. If I had the chance to be "normal", I would take it. I don't have the choice, so I'm trying to live as best I can with who I am.

[BABAJAGA]

I understand you can't help it, i'm not against you or anything, I haven't met you to be against you or to not its not like i hate all gays and if i saw one I would want to mow one down with a machine gun. not at all I just have this feeling that somehow all of this is wrong. I can't explain it fully it's just that I feel it is against some things. Don't get me wrong I wish happiness and a afterlife in heaven for you, it's just that I feel weird around something i would call "not right"

[Rebel]

The meaning is very clear to people like us and even to my mother, whom I read it aloud to. It is clearing than you think. The meaning I got from it was hiding in a closet because of being afraid of judgement from loved ones.

[Hannah]

That's the gist of the meaning, yes. I'm glad the message comes across easily. And I'm glad I've gotten over my fear and embraced who I am.

[Rebel]

It is always better to embrace yourself than hide from who you truly are.

[Devi DM]

This is a very deep but beautiful piece. The third line you say, "you'd close the curtains so you don't see her." In other places you say "I". So in some ways it can confuse the reader. But you can really feel your words. It makes me feel so many different emotions at the same time. Anger, sadness and frustration that the people im this world can just be so ignorant and lack love, compassion and understanding. Thank you for sharing your words.

[Hannah]

That line was supposed to be a family member hiding the narrator's situation from other people. Thank you for reading.

[ba_mcfarlane]

I wouldn't sweat it if this piece comes across as a bit obtuse. The emotion, you have it spilled out, up front, no fooling around, it can't be missed. Works for me. Good job!

[Hannah]

Thank you ba_mcfarlane. I'm glad you can look past everything and see the meaning.

[B. Boileau]

Your words run deep with hope of acceptance, and reciprocation of your love. And you've written this loud. Sometimes, you find what you seek in the places you least expect. It may not show in a way you know, you just need to look closer, it's liable to be right there all along...

bill

[Hannah]

Thank you, Bill. I appreciate your words and reviews.

[Carolynn]

Your poem expresses much sadness and pulls at the heart strings so I feel it's well written and comes from the heart - which is where all powerful emotions come from. Love and acceptance are two of the things we all long for, it's what makes us human. May a double dose of both find you soon. Have faith, because faith can move mountains :)

[Hannah]

Thank you very much, Carolynn!

[Jordan Smith]

I really think that this is a great poem. It's very well written and has alot of good imagery description, especially with the description of the closet in the situation.

I would say maybe change the second line from "Sorry I didn't pass your exam" to "Sorry I didn't pass the exam".

[Hannah]

Thank you, Jordan. And yeah, that second line is the problematic piece. One way or another, it has to go.

[Jordan Smith]

Your Welcome and I don't think it has to go. I just think that it needs to be reworded.

[Kirasoul]

I"m sorry to hear that you have to go through that. Born in a strict Asian family I can relate with your words; your sadness is quite clear.
Poetry-wise: The rhyming is a bit predictable (Just as how James Towers mentioned), but I think that's fine. Moreover, I would suggest changing some part of the wording to create a tempo through the words. Like such: "Flip a switch, turn it on and off," "I know that you'll just sneer and scoff"
Another part I found confusing is the second verse "Sorry I didn't pass your exam". (Why "your exam"?)
Personal note, I would suggest "I'm sorry I did not pass the exam" as an apology to begin the poem and introduce the reader to your sadness. (But that's just me speaking)
All in all, a great poem! Take your time with your words, and let it set your heart in motion a bit more. Despite sadness is not such a pleasant feeling, I do suggest one to savor it as much as you can. May you find happiness :)
-L

[Hannah]

Thank you very much, Kirasoul.

[d]

it seems pretty clear to me. and i like that you are expressing this sentiment. if it is on your mind, you should let it out. mostly i'd give the same comments i gave for the other poem but i also see this as a part 1 of maybe 3 parts. perhaps viewing from different points of view, or different aspects of the same situation. i don't know. i would like to see more. i hope you give it a try and let me know how it goes. hope to see you again soon...

[Hannah]

Thank you, again.