three

IT was around twelve thirty, after lunch, and Gabby and I were a few steps away from Lighthouse Book Shoppe.

That morning, I told my parent’s I picked up a short term job while we were staying here. Of course, that didn’t go over well. My mother went on about “Family togetherness”, and “You’re on vacation”. But in reality, it would do me some good to get out for a couple hours a day, and nobody would notice or mind much. 

Gabby begged me to take her with her, so she could play with the Beanie Babies and dolls in the children’s section. I didn’t object, and neither did our parents, since this would give another chance for an open shouting match. 

I was smacking on some sugar free gum, and wore my hair down. It was fairly cool today, so it didn’t stick to the back of my neck as it would. 

“Can I have some gum, Liz?” Gabby whined. 

I said No, since the last time I gave her gum she swallowed it, and didn’t hear the end of it from Mom. 

The bell twinkled as we stepped in. It was just the way we left it, except for Carol wasn’t sitting at the register, Lia was.

“Liz!” She waved me over, smiling. 

“Hey.” I said, and pushed Gabby toward the kid’s section.

“Do you bring her everywhere you go?” Lia joked. 

I was going to answer, but Carol came charging through from the back room, carrying a load of books. She looked at me with heavy lidded brown eyes.

“Liz, right?”

I nodded.

“Make yourself useful around here. See the coffee bar over there? See how nobody is behind the coffee bar? That’s your job now. Go.”

“Easy, Carol.” Lia began. “If you wouldn’t mind, Liz. I was at the counter for a little while, but I had to get pulled over to the register, and Carol is stocking up.”

“Oh, no problem.” I replied to Lia, leaving Carol scowling.

I could still see Gabby from the coffee bar through the aisles of books, and made sure it stayed that way. 

I found this work fairly easy. None of the customers asked for a triple mocha latte or a decaf carmel macchiato, but simple things like coffee with cream and two sugars, or a raspberry danish. 

I’d be no good at stocking books, though. I wouldn’t know what I’d be doing. I barely know the Dewy Decimal System.

As Carol came behind me and plopped a box of coffee cups on the floor, the bell on the door twinkled again, and the customer was greeted by a warm “Welcome!” by Lia.

Between the times when people came up to the coffee bar and asked for drinks, I took a while to view the other customers here. A long haired guy was sitting in front of the unlit fireplace, contently absorbed in a comic book, his eyes thrillingly widening every now and then, and then flipping the page over. Another teen girl dressed in what I assumed to be Hollister or Abercrombie clothing came in and started browsing in the young adult section, and started to inspect the spines of each of the books, but didn’t pull a single one out. 

“You’re new.”

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a boy standing in front of me, now sitting down on one of the stools.

“Um, yes. Can I get you something?” I asked him.

“How long have you been working here?”

This boy looked to be around my age, maybe a year or two older. He was tall with brown hair and bright blue eyes. He must come here regularly, since he knew right off the bat that I hadn’t been working here long.

“Today is my first day, actually.” 

The boy smiled, and held out a hand. “I’m Nate. I come here a lot, because my sister works here.” He gestured towards Lia.

“Lia? Lia is your sister?” I asked while shaking his hand, and looked at Lia, but saw no resemblance.

“Well, half sister actually. We have the same mom, but we grew up together. So, she’s as much of my sister as Gabby is yours.”

“Oh, that’s cool. She didn’t mention having a brother, but-”

I broke off suddenly, and looked over at Gabby. “How did you know Gabby was my sister? How do you know who Gabby is?” I asked him skeptically. 

Nate looked over at Gabby and smiled. Gabby was playing with a lion Beanie Baby and a swan one, who from what I could tell, were dueling it out or something.

“I’m not a stalker or anything.” Nate said. “Really. Lia told me you were new and that your sister came along with you. Don’t look at me like that.”

I realized my eyes were narrowed, and shook it off. 

“Well,” I said, changing the subject. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No,” Nate said, but remained in his seat. “But I do want your name.”

This Nate annoyed me slightly. He didn’t seem modest or humble like a nice guy, but he seemed like one of those guys that act very nice towards you, but in reality don’t give a s**t. I’ve known too many guys like that.

“Liz.” I ended up telling him, even though I didn’t want him to know my name. 

“Oh, I see you two have met!” 

Lia came beaming over, her red pony tail swishing behind her. She put her hands on her brother’s shoulders.

“I think you two are around the same age? Nate is twenty. And you’re around twenty as well, right Liz?”

“Nineteen.”

“Oh, right sorry. Well, Nate is going to be a junior next year at Duke. You know, in North Carolina?”

She gave Nate a swaying hug from behind him. “I’m so proud of my little brother!” She squealed.

“Okay, Lia. Don’t embarrass me now.” said Nate, though it came out weirdly since her arms seemed to be constricting his throat. 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” 

She fixed his hair with her delicate hands, and put her hands back on his shoulders. 

“So, I guess you guys will be seeing a lot of each other. I hope you get along!”

“Yeah, me too.” Nate added, and looked at me. 

I felt extremely awkward at this point. It’s like those parties that your family drags you to, and forces you to hang out with some kid just because he’s the same age as you, but it’s nothing but awkward.

“Lizzie!” Gabby called from the kids section. She seemed to be crying. 

“Gabby? Come here, what’s wrong?”

She came running up to the counter, holding her pointer finger up. 

“Lizzie!” She cried again, and I walked out from behind the counter and knelt by her. 

“What is it, a paper cut?” 

I looked to her finger where there seemed to be a  little white scratch, no blood at all.

“Aw, that’s not bad. Let me see if they have some band-aids here.”

Nate hopped down from his chair. “I have one right here.” 

He took out his wallet from his back pocket, and pulled out a blue band-aid from it. 

“May I?” He asked, as he knelt down to Gabby as well.

I nodded, and he unwrapped the band-aid and put it around her finger. 

“Good as new!” He said. “I hate paper cuts. It’s the little things that hurt, huh?”

Gabby nodded feverishly, and wiped a few tears from her cheek. 

“This morning. I saw you. At the Radley house.”

I looked at my sister, and gave her a puzzled look. 

“You saw him at the house across the street?”

“Yeah, I was there.” Nate answered. “We just moved in. We used to live across town, but we wanted something a little more waterfront. My mom got a promotion, and this is what she wanted to do with it.”

I peered over at Lia, who was on the store phone with somebody, telling them that she was sorry, and we didn’t have the book in stock that they were asking for. Like he knew what I was thinking, Nate said, “She doesn’t live with us. She lives with her husband, Chris.”

I couldn’t imagine Lia married. She seemed so... young. Not in just the way she looked, but in the way she acted. Even though I hadn’t known her long, at all, I couldn’t imagine her grown up and married. 

Gabby seemed bored by this subject, and quickly tried to change it. “Do you like the Radleys?”

Nate turned her attention back to Gabby. “Well, I haven’t actually met them. But I’m sure they’re nice. Although, I was sort of wondering why there were a couple holes in the wall in my bedroom...”

Gabby let out a giggle, and I giggled with her. 

“I’m missing something...” Nate said, but neither of us cared to explain. 

“I’m bored, Lizzie. Can we go now?” 

Gabby went from giggly to whiny in about five seconds.

Carol seemed to be done with stocking the books, and she was now absorbed in a Vanity Fair magazine, over in the corner. Lia was by the register, filing her nails.

“Well, I don’t know exactly what time I’m done, Gabby. You might have to wait.”

“No, no, don’t be silly.” 

Lia suddenly appeared by my side, her nail file still in her hand.

“Carol isn’t doing anything. She’s done with stocking the books. She can get behind the counter for a little while. Plus, Josh is coming in soon. You’d like him, Liz. He’s so funny.”

“Lizzie let’s go.” Gabriella demanded. 

I could tell she was getting irritable, probably because she didn’t have anything to snack on since lunch, and she gets cranky when she’s hungry.

“Go.” Lia pushed me out from behind the counter. “We’ve got it from here.”

I picked up my purse and took Gabby’s hand. 

“Wait!” She squeaked. “Doesn’t Natie want to walk with us?”

Oh, great. Whenever Gabby takes a liking to somebody, she will always give them an ‘ie’ at the end of their name, as a cute nickname. She usually gets attached to these people, and would get extremely disappointed when they let her down, even in the slightest. I was like that once, then learned that it was a nasty habit that can only head to getting hurt in the end. 

Nate looked over at me, and shrugged his shoulders.

Gabby pleaded, “Please?”  

“No, Gabby. He’s going to stay here, okay?”

Gabby gave me a scowl, and stomped towards the door.

I apologized for her to Lia and Nate, and walked her out the door. 

“Nice meeting you!” I heard Nate say as the door swung shut.

“Why wouldn’t you let Natie walk with us?” My sister said in her annoying voice as we walked down the stretch. 

“Gabby, he’s not going to stop what he’s doing to walk a six year old and her sister home. He’s probably got a life.”

Gabby didn’t say anything else, but just pouted all the way back.

We were walking down the dirt road, only a couple yards away from our house, when Deb called my name.

“Liz! Over here!”

Deb came running out of her house, tanner than yesterday if possible. I suddenly had a flashback when she was running towards me. It was when we were both twelve, about seven years ago, on the fourth of July. We wore matching outfits, exactly, down to the red, white, and blue toenails and the braids in our hair.  We were so alike back then. We stayed away from the same food, shopped at the same stores, and hated the same boys. She got over all of this, however. But as for me, I stayed the same. I was finicky, yes, even more so than a spoiled cat. It was sad, pathetic would be the better word, that I haven’t grown up. I was like Peter Pan, except there will never be  Neverland in which I could hide myself, and forever be a foolish child. 

Seeing my friends grow up in that way made me sad, in a way that we were no longer alike. We were no longer children that were so easily pleased by one another, or worried about what other people think.

Deb had become very popular after we were thirteen, much like Mitch, where she grew more attractive. Her curves grew in and her braces came off. I, however, stayed where and how I was. 

I was always a bit uneasy around her after her burst of popularity around town. Everyone seemed to know her. Deb and I couldn’t go anywhere without her bumping into two or three people that she knew. She was still Deb, though. She was still my summer pal, and she never treated me any different than she always had.

“Hey!” She said, and approached me. She smoothed out her green top. “How was that book shop thing?”

“Pretty good actually. It was easy work, and it passed time quickly.”

“And a boy!” Gabby informed.

S**t. That’s the worst information you could possibly give to Deb. You say the word ‘boy’ around her, and she’ll go nuts. 

“A boy!” She gawked. “Was he hot? How old? Did he ask you out?”

“Deb!” I yelled, to shut her up. “It was Lia’s brother, Nate. Lia works there, and I guess he just comes in every once in a while. That’s all.”

Deb gave me a look like she didn’t believe me, and looked to Gabby. 

“Gabby, was this boy cute?”

I hoped Gabby wouldn’t answer, but of course she did.

“Yeah, and nice too. I asked if he could walk us home, but Lizzie said no.” She stuck her tongue out at me.

“Cute, you say?” Deb flashed her eyes at me. 

“You can have him. Just stop by the store and ask him out. He’d be crazy to say no.” I said with ease.

“Adam!” She reminded me. “And anyway, Liz, don’t you need a nice guy?”

Deb was already off planning our honeymoon, I think. 

“No, I don’t. Not everyone needs a guy constantly in their life, you know. Plus, he’s probably just gonna end up being a playmate for Gabriella, God help him. He moved in at the Radley house.”

Deb said, “How insanely perfect.” 

“Please Deb. Don’t do this. Please don’t make every thing that comes your way a stupid love story. Not everything turns out how you plan it out in your head.”

“No, that’s true.” Deb said, but not defeated. “But this one can.”

I finished talking to Deb, still arguing my point to the last minute. The only thing about Deb that I didn’t admire was her sense of reality. It didn’t exist. She believed that anything could turn out to be a fairy tale, a happy ending, and a romantic journey. Just because it has for her, doesn’t mean that others are that lucky. No, lucky wouldn’t be the word. If everything turned out like this for someone, they would turn arrogant, unaware of reality. Deb wasn’t stupid, her head was just a bit up in the clouds. 

She didn’t believe in sad endings. Sure, she had them, but to her, they were new beginnings.

This summer I needed to give her a reality check, and I myself, being exhibit A. I was now laying down in my room, still bothered by what she was saying. I looked out the window, and saw her on her porch swing, swaying back and forth. 

There must be something in her life that turned rotten. Something that triggers her to be positive all the time, besides the pure fact that her life had been perfect all along. Or maybe that was it. Maybe she just doesn’t have a reason to be like me. She’s never gotten extremely  disappointed over anything, really. She doesn’t let a lot of things bother her, and she has no problems trusting people. 

Maybe somewhere deep, deep down inside of me, I wanted to be more like Deb. But every time I’d have these thoughts, I’d shove them back down and remind myself: Reality is better. Reality is safer. Reality will keep you unscathed. 

But in truth, I hated reality.