Snow Man

I wrote this poem when I was around... 7 or 8. At this time I was OBSESSED with Shel Silverstein and would bring "Where the Sidewalk Ends" everywhere I go d:

I built a snowman on a cold winter day,

A carrot for his nose, and eyes made of clay.

Buttons on his chest and a non- sweat band,

My dads shoes for his feet, and a broom in his hand.

He was only a few minutes old. Maybe five,

But the only thing I need now is the magic hat to make him alive.

Reviews

[Rose Kavanagh]

Wow, this is adorable and surprisingly well-written for someone just seven or eight years old. With a little bit of revision, I think this poem would fit in really well in a poetry anthology for children. Lovely work!

[Brittany]

Bravo. This is precious and quite well done for that age.

[Hannah Olivia]

thank you :3

[Dr. Wood ?]

I was obsessed with kids poetry when I was young.......WAAAAAAAAY back....It is great that you posted this...I still write mostly for kids and it cheers me up to read this and the story behind it

[.]

That is so beautiful:) Great imagery.

-Cord

[Forever Hidden]

Hmmmm. You can find magic, where? Help?

Just kidding! Well penned!

[Sarah]

I think this is cute. I always loved making snowmen, but mine were never really "Frosty" quality. Haha.
This is very good and very much like something Shel Silverstein would write. I hope to read more of your work.

[Hannah Olivia]

Thanks!! Yeah, when I was little I guess I copied his style a bit... Whatever. :P

[Aislinn]

This is so sweet. I remember making snowmen. One year Ours was really scrawny and half melted but it snowed again that night and turned into a snow dinosaur. Another year we had to use sweethearts for their mouths eyes and chest. Love childhood memories.

Your imagery is wonderful. Your rhyming scheme, while obvious and traditional, works well for what you are trying to do. But please look at the fifth line and see if you can do anything to help the flow. It feels a little off at the moment.
Other than that it is short, sweet, simple, to the point. Fantastic job, particularly for a seven or eight year old. Keep up the good work.

[Hannah Olivia]

Thank you! (: I woud love tho make a snow Dino next winter xD

[Aislinn]

You're welcome.