Dream Catcher

I caught a dream between my teeth-

Bit down to taste the meaning on my tongue,

But it dribbled past my lips

And was sucked into the pillow’s lung.

 

I ripped apart the fabric flesh-

Sent feather organs flying through the night

To make some sense of what I’d seen

And came across a liquid light.

 

I squeezed with sleepy fingers

And it seeped into my soul,

Patterned with sinner’s fissures-

Now filled with spectral glow

 

And here I saw what could be seen,

Yet little did I get

From the product of guilty wishes

And a thin veil of regret:

 

I see her in the daytime

And I see her here at night,

But never in the distance

Bathed in blazing light.

Author's Note

I would love to hear any feedback you have for me down in the comments!

Reviews

[SmittyJas]

I love the lighting in this poetry of yours it brings out the joy of what we as poets write for. I made me see a nice background in my mind of plenty of flavors to taste on my tongue and the dream continued and things moved along it lead me to deeper places where color alined.

[H McG]

Thanks! I'm so glad you like my work.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You have some very creative metaphorical references here… outstanding writing. Poetry is open to interpretation and I have to say this could be taken on many levels and that is what good poetry is about.

[H McG]

Thanks very much! I'm glad you enjoyed my poem.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You are so very welcome.

[Lyn Anderson]

I really like this poem. I almost feel like the last stanza is part of another thought -- but perhaps, just a differentiation in font or placement would set it apart.

[H McG]

Thank you and also good idea!

[Chris]

The last stanza was a possible standalone but to me it didn't fit the flow of the others. You were going someplace real and personal and the last stanza came across as a wall and shut the thought down tight. - least to me.

[H McG]

I know that there is less of a clear link between the last stanza and the other ones. However, the idea of the last stanza is that even once I have found something corporeal and true, that does not make the truth any easier to bare. It is difficult to explain what I mean without explaining the poem away, but yes- there is a disconnect in the last stanza.

[Chris]

then if I as the listener perceive the disconnect that you as the author - felt... perhaps a thoughtful blending would serve to better express your "voice"? I didn't see nor hear the need to explain away anything... your voice flowed your thought very well to the wall. And I also didn't need the last explained as my perception of it WAS as your own and hence I mentioned it as a standalone.

You HAVE a voice...it speaks understandably, clear, and well. Trust your inner feelings - if it feels or sounds "off" then most likely it is - somehow. Each reader is a person with their own perceptions and yet we aren't as alone in our understandings as most tend to think - true?

[H McG]

You make some very good points. Thank you for all your feedback.

[Chris]

k... was not talkin down to you...or even talking AT you... hope to hear more of your work.

[H McG]

I know you weren't, don't worry :)

[Trace]

Welllllllll........ the rhythm and flow are good
But not sure exactly where you were going with it.

And then I thought that it indeed did read like a crazy dream.

Trace

[Awakened Rose]

Wow so beautiful! Your imagery and word usage is just impeccable. Your words take your reader to a different place. Absolutely brilliant. Thank you for sharing this !

[mnicorata]

I thoroughly enjoyed the poem, inspirational and beautiful at the same time. You're quite the poet keep it up.

[H McG]

Thank you so much for the kind words!

[Soundsage090]

Amazing! It feels like a dream on the verge of lucid. You are an artist for sure!

[H McG]

Thanks so much! I'm glad you like it.

[Soundsage090]

Haha my review may not have been very constructive or helpful but it was honest.

[Another Relic]

You obviously have skills. I take it the "her" you refer to is the dream catcher. I like the bits of alliteration and the syntax in general. I think you did a great job writing this.

[H McG]

Thanks very much for this comment. And I'm not saying that 'her' isn't the dream catcher, but that I actively encourage you to come up with your own interpretations ;)