Finally! Or Finally...

Just a blog-styled journal entry about my life and daily ponderings pertaining to the end of four years in the safe haven of high school.

Today. 

Was today any different than yesterday? 

Is yesterday anything like today, and if not tomorrow?

Who cares? 

Does anyone?

I sit around thinking I like the way my life is... but that is only for today.

Everyone is laughing and smiling and hugging, but is anyone cherishing, embracing, loving?

I could not tell you. I know I am trying to let every memory sink in. Every face burn into my memory. Allow every laugh to be heard and appreciate the smallest things people may not  even notice about themselves.

A girl in my English class that sits next to me tends to do the smallest things like tap her pen on her hand when she is thinking of a vocabulary word's meaning. The guy...young man... who sits across from me always extends his legs out all the way every day right under my seat... every day. It is not annoying but interesting. 

The other girl at our table sometimes dazes off for quite a while into a deep thought. I always wonder what she is thinking about but I am never brave enough to ask. These three people alone intrigue me a great deal and I honestly appreciate their presence. As a group we always find joy in everything and laugh together. We share without wanting anything in return. And we talk as if we had known each other so well years before. 

That is something I will miss. The instant comfort of high school.

Meeting new people in high school is not as frightening as the real world. You tend to not have to worry if the friendly teen beside you is a murderer or a heart breaker you just go for it and hope you can make the best of today.

That is why I live in today rather than yesterday or tomorrow. Today is what is happening and today is where I am. I smile at people who I do not know, those I do and those who do not know me. It never hurt to say hello to someone who did not know me and it is still a polite way to behave. 

Trust me, I love people but I have also been too swift to judge and establish the character of others. People are often not just one person but usually many. No one is set in stone. Nothing ever is.

People can change and people can stay the same but we cannot prognosticate or decide such a thing for a person.

Today I went on a lovely lunch date with a close friend. We discussed so much from college to boys to jokes to food and more. She is such a delight but I realized today that she is the person who talks about something then another then back to her first topic. Like a bumper for conversations (bumper is a video clip that continues a broken up story line to ease the main show [film term I believe]). It is a particularly interesting aspect of her personality that I personally love and could not imagine her without. I have sat down many times and wondered if I was making the right decision or hanging with the right people, but I just talk to them and realize I could not have made a better choice in a million years.

Today was not perfect. Hardly any day is or will be. But I live for today. The nows and I think that is all I can do. All I hope is that when you think of your today, you will see all the small things you never noticed before and realize just how much you need them. I only wish good things for all in the day and sweet dreams in the night but most of all happiness in life. Never doubt. Always gain even when you lose.