Ever?

Not sure if im more poetry or lyrical

This life,

This time,

My hate,

Your crime,

My tears,

Your smile,

My death,

Survival

Ever had a dream?

Ever had a wish?

Ever had the feeling,

To just end all this?

Ever had to walk,

With your head held down?

Ever had to smile,

Mask the devils frown?

Ever had to hide,

Who you really are?

Ever told a story,

Through a single scar?

Ever looked up,

To an empty sky,

Watching lonely stars,

One by one they die,

Ever climbed high,

Breathed the air In deep?

Been too scared too jump

Sewed but didn't reep?

Ever put your hands,

Against bars of steel?

Tried to stand up tall,

But been forced to kneel

Ever cried long tears,

But to no avail?

Sat and took the test,

To be told you fail

Ever wondered why,

Do I fight this war?

Looked up to the sky,

Told the world no more

Let us walk, let us run, let us take the night

Make this our sun,

I will not give in,

I will stand, Let me fight,

I refuse to step out of the light,

I refuse to bow,

So hear me now.

Reviews

[Radad Ibn Nasir]

Yes, yes, yes.. no.. no, but know that it has swept through my mind, I can relate it similary. you have a wonderful way of displaying the answers you seek with the way you pose your questions. Nice write it really provokes the mind!

[Sam]

Powerful words, those. They kept me reading until the end, but herein I must speak. I think the last stanza needs an extra line (with an *ight ending) or one of its middle lines need to be amended and moved to the bottom.

[Matt Thomas]

WOW!!! My life just ended!! LoL But then it was reborn again!! Hannah you are good with words, not great, and definitely not one of the best I've reviewed...BUT..when it comes to putting those words into rythym and rhyme along with keeping the meaning of the write without tripping off a cliff of confusion which most people who try to rhyme do..You are absolutely brilliant!! Very macabre, very Poe, but screw all the comparisons..Most of all this is one of the better poems with a mix of length and rhyme that I have read in a while...That very last Stanza is very Rocky Balboa..A terrific fall from grace and then a rise to glory!! All in all just a proper proper poem...90..If you can look over and review my project it would be awesome..but this is good stuff...Next step..Make it unforgettable and great..You have the potential

[Asem]

So deep and was feel the pain and every word was mean A LOT for me thank you for this nice words .. I wish read more from you
Good job

[The Fretless Horseman]

Simple, but effective! I can almost hear this being sung as a song.

[dani suzanne corke]

its great i love how in depth you are thanks for the great read really enjoyed it

[M.A. Carr]

Intense poem. I like how it goes from desperation to hope.

[The Thinkingcap]

great piece of work! loved it

[Eli Jarman]

I have enjoyed both poems, very good. Thanks for the read

[RAOrourke]

I really enjoyed your poem and felt the emotion behind the words. Great job!