Earl's Unkempt Ambitions

Influenced by assorted noxious household chemicals and an inspiring documentary on the 1960’s Apollo moon landings, Earl Bishopson has vowed to fully remodel Spain before the “decade is out”. For this project he has so far accumulated exactly one box of nails, a dull chisel, and inexplicably, one half-empty bag of catnip seeds.

 

His wife is used to these elephantine promises of his, yet she proudly claims that this kind of husbandly over-ambition hasn’t been demonstrated by a married male in western Kansas since the nearly farcical All-Weathers Rotting Lettuce Round-Up of 1878, when seven drovers were enormously killed by confused Oklahoma homesteaders, bearing rusting Salad-Shooters and incorrectly drawn maps of Texas.

 

As for Earl, so far he has only replaced the light fixtures of Apartment 3-C, Useless Miracles Gardens and Home Court, in west Madrid. However, he claims not to be disappointed in his national remodeling efforts thus far.

 

“I am not disappointed”, he said.

 

This is not the first time someone has vowed to renovate an entire European country.  The Moors tried to wallpaper parts of Portugal in pale blues and lavenders during the eighth century and instead accidently founded Morocco.

 

Later, the greatly self-absorbed ego-maniac Flemish painter Michelangelo vowed before a group of his peers that he would “fix all of Belgium’s plumbing” right after he was done with sculpting his “Pieta”.

 

Others thought Michelangelo’s plans a trifle ambitious, or as Da Vinci succinctly put it, a “total crock of poo”, yet in keeping with Michelangelo’s incredible artistic stamina and accomplishments.

 

No one has any faith in Earl’s similar plans. “In the end, he won’t do a damn thing.” remarked Earl’s dog, Biscuit.

 

 

Reviews

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agree with Bubo, Very nicely done

[Bubo]

Don't we all have ambitions that keep us going, we have the conviction but lack the will......and the years pass, and dreams fade.........interesting,intelligent write.