The journey

The journey through cancer - between a patient and a caregiver

Dark and gloomy

An arduous journey

No end in sight

So misty... so foggy...

Unregconisable

Unfamiliar

Unphantomable

So peculiar

I see that look on your face

The questions and the confusion

Your wide green eyes, they betray

Those deep hidden emotions

I know you're scared

I know your fears

Nothing makes perfect sense

And you have lost so many years

That ball in your head

It's having a blast

Playing a world tournament

Going oh so fast

It's easy for me to say

"Don't let it get to you"

But it's not all black and white

It's grey with a tinge of blue

Your insecurities

Your anxiety

The difficulties

Nightmares from memories

Throwing you off course

Putting you on guard

Baby, whenever you are lost

Just look into your heart

You might find the truth

You might find the answers

You might find all that you need

To fill in the missing pieces

You asked me if I'm happy

You asked if I'm bored

You think you must be weird

Insecurities in your thoughts

Hey baby, you know it's us

You know how we've always laughed

We rock a different way

We've always been enough

You're my best friend

And more than that

You're my soulmate

For that, I'm glad

It's always exciting

Every new journey with you

Several new beginnings

And I still and will always love you

Reviews

[DJ]

The emotions and feelings you portray in this piece are so relateable to me but you wrote them so well, even better than my mind could conjure to explain what memory loss feels like. I admire your positivity through-out your partners illness. The flow in this is beautiful. Through-out your work you paint a beautiful picture of pain, love and strength, bravery and determination. Nice penning :)

[Hana Saemon]

Thank you! ^^,

[Ranse Sullivan]

What a wonderful poem! I really enjoyed the rhythm and emotion, thank you for posting:)

[Hana Saemon]

thank you for reading ranse! im glad you've enjoyed it! :)

[Broken Wings]

This is really beautiful hun, I love your writing, it seems to flow so effortlessly. I can feel the emotions you write of. Your partner is lucky to have you and have such beautiful poetry written about him and the journey you both are on. I love following you through-out your work (not to sound like a stalker lol) but it is a real testament to love at its most selfless and pure.

[Hana Saemon]

Awww thanks! I only write when i need to let my feelings out. I guess it flows the way it does cause its basically what im feeling. Best way to purge, cope etc. thank you for the kind comments :)

[Broken Wings]

It flows that way because you are a good writer too :) I can relate to that. It is a great way to let emotions out and purge. You are very welcome :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is beautiful, Hana.. a whole range of emotions run through these lines.. sadness, melancholy, fear, need, want, love.. my favorite lines:

Hey baby, you know it's us
You know how we've always laughed
We rock a different way
We've always been enough

So very beautiful and shows the deep love you two share. Love this!

[Hana Saemon]

Thank you Lori! He has been feeling confused and emotional. Its understandable. We are officially on the 8th "version" of him, but he is still the same person and i still love him whichever version. Thank you so much for reading and thank you for the kind words. Really appreciate it! :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

These versions.. are they stages of grief or something else?

[Hana Saemon]

He has brain tumor and he has a clot that is pressing on some nerves. He has lost his memory 8 times. So 8 whole times of "new". Its all good though. I try to see the positivity in it all. I wrote about it in some of my other writings, i think uve read. About memory loss.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Oh wow.. that must be so hard on both of you.. so frustrating. Yes I read about the memory loss, but I didn't realize that it was total loss. I have memory loss and the chemo made that worse, but mine is loss of past events and it is patchy what I can remember and what I cannot.

[Hana Saemon]

He remembers some things in some versions of himself, then total memory loss on other versions. It comes and go, but if we look at it in a humorous way...8 different guys! Cant complain can i? Haha

[Ravyne Hawke]

LOL at least you still have your humor, Hana.. it's a wonderful way to deal with some of these issues, especially the memory loss