scattered pills

It is about how this girl feels that the boy she was in love with used her. the only way she is able to ease the pain is pills and alcohol. However, no matter how much she tried, it wasn't helping.

I grab that bottle,

take one more pill.

I pop it into my mouth,

the pain eases my mind for one more night.

I feel content.

but then, I see you once again,

and i try once more for this broken heart to mend.

 

One more pill

should take the pain away

but when i see you

it rushes back again

 

I take a few more

wanting this all to end.

Those feelings I felt

I wish, but

I just can’t take it back

because those feelings were real

now I have a broken heart to try  mending.

 

It’s been awhile,

since I heard your voice,

felt you warm embrace

saw your smiling face.

It’s been awhile, and life's taken a toll on me

 

Now these days, I’m hitting the bars

grinding my a*s up into his junk.

they buy me another drink.

“Hand me another beer please”

and one too many drinks,

Im taking them home with me.

 

After countless hours,

all the sweat and frustration built up

trying to find another to fill the void,

where you onced loved

regret fills my chest

I know this isn’t what I want.

I didn’t want this to happen.

but once I wake,

I see his face as he dresses

he apologizes

I wasn't his type

Just like the rest.

 

I once more dig into the freezer,

try to feel the pain with that ice cream

however, the sweets can’t fix this.

I am all alone,

and the reason,

i can no longer fill the void

another pill, maybe that will make me content

 

Im sitting on my bed,

my tears falls down my face.

I saw you again today

you asked me how I was,

Funny i was able to hold it together,

I told you I was fine,

you smiled

my heart dropped,

you told me all about her once again.

My heart broke a little more,

That should have been me.

After your  face leaves my eyes,

I pop another pill

erase this memory from my mind

 

another pill and a glass in my hand.

I want you to see what you did yo me

but i fall for another guy for the night

i watch as they leave a

and know they wont stay with me

another pill another drink

 

i say you today

and you seem to be happy as ever

I broke down in tears

as you held me in your arms

you told me I was your forever.

I believed you once again

 

i sit on my bed

and you know how this goes

i held the gun

up against my skin

and i pull the trigger

so now i no longer

see you with another girl.

those pills werent helping,

so i became my own murderer 

Author's Note

I would enjoy some opinions and critiques that I can change in this piece of work. thank you for all that reads and leaves a reviewers.