Waterfall

I had a go at a Tanka...

Waterfall

 

Slinking over rocks

Water creeps, edging closer

Almost silently

Only whispering movement

Until reaching to the rim

 

Plummeting, earth bound

Gravity pulling water

Fighting for some strength

Giving in to the current

Now it’s always advancing

 

Beating the beneath

Flows carelessly forever

Shrieking horrors of

Everything and anything

The beauty in that power

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please tell me if I didn't follow the rules of a Tanka.

Reviews

[Alz Alz]

Like Sunflower below me, I didn't count all the syllables, you're well capable of doing that for yourself, but I love your Tanka :) Nature is a key concept in writing Tankas... Thank you for doing my course :) It's quite simple and fun! Here is my Tanka: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/elvis8tweeter/395746/
That is my Tanka poem, Rain.
GREAT job on your tanka :)
You deserve 100/100!

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

I didn't count all your syllables but it seems that you did it by the rules of Tanka. ..Enjoyed reading what you had to say...I hope that I get to read some more and that you pen some lines about France describing the country to us..I felt that you expressed the movement of the water very well...I think that I will try to write one about a waterfall..Sunflower/Sara