Russian Roulette

the painfully intoxicating gamble that is love.

Damned if I do,
Damned if I don't. 
My heart aches with love,
But could easily break
After confessing feelings previously unspoken of.
Do I bite my tongue day after day?
Or foolishly play a risky hand
At the expense of scaring you away?
To have your heart is my desired win,
But I laugh and shake my head
While I murder the notion within.
Pieces of you I've never had
Are the most devastating loss of all.
You see, the problem is
I don't know which way to fall.
Shall I reveal mad love for you
And ignore the possibility of your disappearing act
Being absolute hell to live through?
It's all or nothing for me,
I refuse to be some kind of in-between.
Eventually I'll wise up and ditch that mentality
Because my brand of wishful thinking
Can only gift me with the cruel b***h-slap of reality.
"I love you" could ignite a wildfire
Along the path we lightly tread.
Or maybe the fear in your heart
Will turn your feet cold in time for you to escape,
Quitting me while you're still ahead.
Silence would've been a safer bet,
Bite marks on my tongue hurt significantly less.
I played the hand I should've chosen to fold
And now, I've broken us, leaving myself quite the mess.
To one another, we're nothing but dead,
A done deal the moment you chose to get lost.
Your departure left an icy chill
And that same frigid air writes the epitaph, 
Inevitably marking out grave.
The one you embedded in the frost.

Reviews

[¿]

It's a lesson like read for me!! Thanks for sharing😊!

[Locke Redwyne (night sy..]

I like the rhythm and the language used, it's very powerful.

[B-poet]

The eloquence of infatuated doubt is conveyed in a genuinely truthful manner here. Loved the diction throughout your intriguing poem. Great work Haley. A riveting read. :)

[barleygirl]

This is so realistically written, I was feeling uncomfortable to be living thru some of my worst (long-ago) romantic mistakes all over again! Your rhyming rhythm felt a little haphazard in spots, but mostly strong & definitely overshadowed by the word crafting & intensely-stated message. I love it when a writer uses a well-known expression in a different way: "Bite marks on my tongue". I didn't really catch the full intensity implied by the title game, as if this were life or death, but still nicely intense in your expressions (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[sette]

it is a heartfelt poem, there is sensitivity and depth to it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

some people want what and whom they want, they chase after...and when that person finally relents, gives in....accepts...the chase is over and the other loses interest....
j.

[θεά]

"Ghosting" is the lowest form of cowardice in relationships if you would ask me. I like the way you've shaped your monologue and the way it attains its crescendo. Very smooth and yet jagged at the same time.

[wordman]

i am sure many can relate to this fantastic write

[Coyote Poetry]

My kind of poetry Haley.
"Can only gift me with the cruel b***h-slap of reality.
"I love you" could ignite a wildfire
Along the path we lightly tread"
I loved the above lines. In life. We need to be b***h-slap to reality often. Life can be trickery and foolishness. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Haley]

thank you so much for taking the time to read my writing and review.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed your work Haley and you are welcome. I have a poem with the same title. Not the same but similar.

[Veronica Parker]

What ever do we do. Run, is easier than talking.

[Haley]

yes. always.