Overcoming Abuse

I never knew the love of a father..

I do not know if I'll cry if my father died 

But I'll be sad maybe 

Because my mother will become a widow in early age. 

father : 

I am writing to you for the first time.. 

This boldness and recklessness should be exploited..  

father : 

I'm afraid to see the future.

My hands tremble when someone fondle on my shoulder.

I lost my interest in a lot of things. 

Above the most things I hated, I hated you the most. 

father : 

Can you count for me how many times you disown me? 

How many times you told me that your curse will follow me forever?.. 

How many times you break me from the inside?   

father :  

Your actions cut me out to forget your lap, which I do not even know. 

Your words, I mean your bullets! Which still makes me alive..   

Dad : 

I'm stuck in your ice heart. 

My enormous thirst and my attempts to escape from you is a fail. 

I love you even though what I know about love is only a name.

Reviews

[Odysseus Wanders]

Remember to breath I keep saying to myself as i read it the second time. Almost passed out the first time through... Its a hard read for me. In the good way. Between the title and the mentioning of father alone, im thrown into my own basement of loveless thoughts. The read just breaks me down into the ground at every turn. And I find myself thanking you along the way. Show me that Its ok to know. Show me that its ok to look. Such courage, that you show here, helps to support my own when it feels weak. Your poets heart is so strong and beautiful.
You name and call out themes difficult, guilt, shame, blame, fear, hate, and anger... what does one do with these things, what do i do...? How many ways have I disappeared my self ? How many ways have I gone into hiding or silence? How do I recover lost parts of me. Sorry, I go on... but you touch upon universal themes, themes close to my life, themes usually shied away from. So when the poet writes and call them forth... I respond from my own place of "Overcoming Abuse", and add my voice to yours. Yes, Im one of those too, is what you invite me to say with your wonderful poetry. You lead us cross these waters rough, show us a way. And the world is different for it... I cannot thank you enough. What a gift.

[Half Dream]

Wow! I can't thank you enough for your words. I'm deeply touched with your honest and sincere words. I'm sorry that has happened to you too. I know how does it feel and I for once I want to move on with my life. Thank you so very much Terry!

[Odysseus Wanders]

The speaking of it, the writing of it, the hating and the loving of it... are the moving on I've found. Moving on, for me, has never meant to disappear. Just keep going:) And there will be others, many, who will walk with you... for courage and love, is by the light you lead. Ask me how I know;)

[Cid]

This write's quite personal to you and I really don't know what to write into the review. I don't wanna hurt you but I'd say if your father really abuse you at all then take some time to him and ask him why he hurts your feelings at all.. just ask him why he abuses you because without speaking you could never know his feelings and he of course won't learn what you want and how he can keep you happy. Am really very sorry if my words hurt you at all but I really don't wanna see you cry and in a state of 'Being Abused' by anyone. Your reality is in your words penned very well by you. All pain and hurt everything's into the poem.

[Half Dream]

Thanks again for the review. He is not abusing me anymore but I never and won't ask him why he did it as I'll never know. I'm sure of one thing that I'm not feeling any anger or hate against him anymore. I love him and I have chosen to forgive him so i can move on with my life.

[Cid]

Your welcome. Okay, as you feel good.
I wish you a very luckiest New-Year, May this year come in your life with happiness and with some new opportunities of life to make your life beautiful.
Now Let the 2013 go into winds and Let 2014 come in your life with happiness!

Now ok.. ok.. c'mmon, I can't see you sad at all... c'mmon give me your smiles and warm hugs!

[Half Dream]

Thank you!! Thanks Rahul! I hope the same goes out with you too. I'm smiling like a kid already!! Lol!
You're super kind my friend. :) *hugs*

[Half Dream]

Oh dear one, this one is real, and it hurts, me to read it, though you're very brave to post it. Not every bond can always be the right one. I can feel you on that point. It's a complicated pain, that can be devastating, when this hurts for too long. The red thread of a family member can inner kill you. So well spoken, you let it out of your heart, and write about it. To never have earned his love, and apperciation, makes you ill inside, full of hurt, but know sweetie, you are a beautiful person. Inside and out, because you were brave enough to live, and see things through your own ways, of thinking. You separated from the read thread with this one, and that can be very healthy.

Well done lovie, keep on penning, I read you.
You're the strongest, by loving him still.
You have grown above him, by still having "the love inside of you"

- Elisa

[Half Dream]

Awww thank you sweetheart!! Thank you so much.. I actually had a lot of hate issues in the past with my dad but as I grew older i became more forgiven towards him. I can't deny sometimes when I start writing about him I usually end up not completing it but in this piece it was diffrent. I never and yet still don't have a good relationship with him but I decided to move on in my life. I love him and I can't hate him that's all I can say. :(

As always thank you so very much for reading and giving me your beautiful thoughts. It's such an honor reading your encouragement reviews! You're an outstanding writer that I always look up to as writer and a friend.. Thanks for the love and support! Your words means a lot to me!! :)