Tired

I'm still fighting this.
But that fight is a fight for normalcy,
Whatever that is.
And a feeling of being out in the world,
Being with myself,
Without ever daring to take an important decision.
Letting the fatality (defined as destination) is the decision maker for me.
But above all the fight every second to be,
Not to get carried away by nothing,
that place outside of sensations,
Feelings, where I'm completely immune to everything,
that covers me and protects me of my being.
I could be the whole day there,
Oblivious to everything and everyone,
just rocking and staring into space,
Empty of thoughts, empty actions, empty of everything.
And yet I'm completely on the other side.
In the reality.
So tired of awareness.
From keeping track of reality.
I wish I could let go.
Or at least not be so tired.

Reviews

[Half Dream]

Being close to the self is imortant dear, you should ever listen carefully... you write that beautiful out here.

To be and sleep in a wonderful coccoon is where I love to hide now and then too....
Being ready to spread my wings as a butterfly once I feel safe....

There exist true other worlds, and they not have to be dangerous, (to lose the self),
No, when managed perfectly in a great fantasy mind like yours is too, it's living, and loving!!!!

This was a great read, my drearest friend xxx

- Elisa

[Half Dream]

Very true! You said it all. It's such a pleasant to read your reviews.. The pleasure is mine having you to read my work. :)

I so relate... sometimes it is better to be alone, and understood by only the self, then by many others who don't understand you... :D We are true loners, but beautiful ones.... x the pleasure is all mine love...