The Final Day

One knock.

A thousand times I've felt dead

With little else to know

School never taught me how to fight off demons in my head

So empty and so scarred

I never really knew what pure love was

For all I experienced was abandonment and heartbreak

So sharp and inducing,

The blade of a knife could never compare.

That's why I sit here today.

Two knocks.

And I start to shake and wonder,

Will it get better after the end?

Second-guessing never led me to a good place

For it is how I landed in this cruel space

The lingering of the past abuse always breathing down my neck

Never knowing what I could have done or said

Change happened and a monster took over me.

That's why I hold the pills in my hand today.

Three knocks.

I finally fought my fear and swallowed my pride.

Everyone's words no longer could make a difference

Forget all the anguish and disgusting cliches

For they won't hold me prisoner anyways

Nothing ever made me feel wanted or special

And that's when I realized my purpose wasn't real

So fragile, like a tree in a major storm.

That's why I swallowed my pills and fell onto the floor today.

Four knocks.

Then I ever so faintly heard the screaming and sirens.

Suddenly, doubt and regret pounded in my body

Such a bitter f*****g demon could have been exorcised

And a happily ever after may have commenced

While the past blinded me and burned my insides,

The future could have been the water to save me

Taking one life and destroying others in the process

For I've always been too stubborn and selfish.

That is why I died today.

Author's Note

Pretty heavy stuff. Let me know what you think! :)

Reviews

[Chadvonswan]

Damn, pretty heavy stuff indeed, for someone who writes in pounds lbs £
Haha
But seriously. This was pretty good--Dark and depressing kinda but s**t thats the world. Sometimes you just gotta slit your wrists and bleed ink. You know?
I liked this tho. As deep as the sea.

[Haley Wilson]

Haha thank you!!

[J Johnson III]

Pretty powerful. "Back at school they never taught us what we needed to know. Like how to deal with despair or someone breaking your heart." -Brand New

Also, I love love love your quote that if a writer loves you, you will never die. Awesome!

[Haley Wilson]

It's a fabulous quote, I know! Thank ya!

[Afraa]

This is quite an epic poem. I actually whispered these words to myself... damn...

You are one powerful poet. Keep it up!

[Haley Wilson]

Oh wow thank you! :D

[Pryde Foltz]

So hard for everyone when someone is suffering this badly … you really captured the level of pain the suicidal feel. Great job.

[Haley Wilson]

I'm better at writing dark stories haha. Thanks c: