Distorted Reflection

Lydia found herself in the park on a Saturday afternoon. Her mind was lost in a daze. She could hardly think straight, her thoughts muffled by the static in her mind. She probably only slept about three hours the previous night. She’d writhed within the sheets, trying desperately to escape the night terrors. They choked her, and she fought to be freed. But just as always, it was useless. As a result, she’d sometimes get up and rome her apartment. Other nights she’d just lie awake in bed until the sun rose. Sleep was hardly an option.

The people roaming the park were loud, running through the park and laughing obnoxiously. Children’s laughter sprinkled the summer air, accompanied by the occasional shriek of someone being tagged by another. She used to enjoy the sound of children. The way their faces lit up when they romped around the parks underneath the California sun, their arms swinging out and latching onto the shoulders of their friends. How they ran with delight whenever they wriggled out of the grasp of another child in a game of tag or hide and seek. But now they were just an annoyance, a sharp sound that was no longer welcome. They made Lydia cringe, like the reaction to the sound of nails scraping down a chalk board.

She’d forced herself outside of her apartment, thinking that fresh air was what she needed. It hadn’t seemed to work much the other day, but she was determined to try again. God knew staying cooped up inside her apartment wasn’t helping with her sanity. But now that she was standing in the middle of the park surrounded by loud people with the addition of tourists, she asked herself what she was really doing there.

She walked over to the fountain that stood in the center of the park. It was one of the fountains that stood as a landmark. It was a beautiful piece of architecture. It was rather large, with an angel statue sitting in the water with outstretched wings. Water trickled out of it’s mouth, it’s stone eyes fixed on the sky. Lydia sat down on the marble ledge. She listened to the water flowing out of the angel’s lips, trickling peacefully into the fountain. She swiveled around to dip her fingers into the cool water. Shiny copper pennies peppered the bottom of the fountain, glimmering in the sunlight. She peered down at her reflection in the water, the ripples distorting her face. The reflection of her blue eyes fixed on herself, the dark circles underneath a bit darker now. It was like the person in the water wanted to help Lydia. The person in the water looked sad, her blue eyes not as bright as they used to be. The ripples moved her body, but not in a motion that one would think was soothing. It was jarring, her reflection unable to sit still, just like her soul. Lydia found herself afraid of this strange person. This was not her.

“Lydia?”

She tore her gaze away from her reflection, looking up at Michael. He was standing in front of her and smiling widely, as if very happy to see her. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, the front of his white shirt moving faintly with the brush of the wind.

“How are you?” he grinned wider. Could his smile get any bigger? He took a spot on the edge of the fountain next to her. She pulled her fingers out of the water, wiping them dry on her summer dress.

“I’m good.” she lied. But was it a lie? Because she found her spirits growing lighter at the sight of Michael. How could a person have such an effect on another without knowing them for more then twelve hours?

“I’m actually really glad I found you again. I found this really great Italian restaurant that we could go to.”

Lydia bit her lip, surprised that he had remembered her favorite food. 

He waited, possibly for her to reply. “I was hoping I could take you to it.” his eyes looked into hers, sparkling with excitement. Looking into his eyes seemed to make it easier to breathe.

Lydia caught herself smiling. “Well if I must.”

That grin on his face grew wider, far wider then she thought possible. “Perfect.”

Lydia had to turn away so that Michael didn’t see her cheeks blushing. She’d never had sparkles burst across her chest before. She’d never had her breath stollen and yet made easier to breathe at the same time. What was this she was feeling? What was it called? Was it possible for one to fall for another even though they’d just met? Or maybe it wasn’t falling at all. Maybe it was just the undeniable fact that Michael made her forget about the static in her mind, about the sleepless nights, about that reflection in the fountain that made her fear herself.

“Let’s go now.”

“Now?”

Was it possible that Michael made her temporarily forget about the terrors, made her temporarily believe that se was normal? But how could he have this affect on her when they only just met?

“Well do you have anything else you’re doing at the moment?” Lydia had to admit, she loved the boy’s persistence. He didn’t seem like the type to easily give up on anything.

“Well is it fancy? I’m not really dressed appropriately.” she plucked at her white summer dress, the hem falling just above her knee. It wasn’t exactly dinner attire.

“Oh, don’t worry.” he brushed off, pushing himself up off the fountain ledge. “You’re dressed way better then I am.”

Lydia followed, standing up. “If you’re sure.”

“Stop worrying.” he smiled kindly. “You look beautiful.”

Lydia’s eyes fell to the ground as her cheeks turned several shades of crimson. 

She heard a snicker. “Was that too forward?” his voice was gentle, just above a soft whisper. 

She forced herself to look up. “No.” she was smiling.

Michael took her to the Italian restaurant. It was a beautiful place with wonderful food. They sat there laughing and talking, twirling pasta onto their forks. The whispers in Lydia’s mind seemed foggy, drowned out by their laughter. Though she could still hear them, they were definitely softer at the moment. And it seemed to be because Michael was there.

After their meal, they went outside, roaming about aimlessly. They were near one of the beaches, in which was abandoned by people for the day. Early evening was falling, and people were returning to their homes or meeting at restaurants for dinner.

“Let’s go to the dock.” she said, walking ahead of Michael. He followed behind her, and the two of them climbed onto the deck that outstretched over the ocean. The sun was setting, the last of it’s rays casting a liquid gold across the pacific sky. The splash of the waves licked the legs of the dock, the sea salt thickening the air.

Lydia slipped off her shoes, having the desire to feel the course wood against her bare feet. One foot in front of the other, she walked slowly along the very edge of the dock. The breeze was warm, tainted with salt from the ocean. It laced through her hair, blowing gently against her bare legs. She let her arms float up from her sides like wings, outstretched to the sky to help her keep her balance. She lost all bearings of the world, of her nightmares, of Michael. Just for a moment, it was just her. Just herself and no one else. At this moment, no one else existed.

One foot in front of the other. One side was firm and promising, the other side cold and wet with the possibility of drowning if one fell. Lydia told herself that she would not fall. 

But then, as if the universe was out to prove her wrong, Lydia lost her balance.

Her body tipped towards the ocean as a hand lunged for her hand. His arm hooked around her back, pulling her upright. His eyes had widened, afraid he wasn’t going to catch her in time. “Be careful.” he said. Lydia looked up at him, unafraid. She was fixated on the fact that he was still holding her hand.

“Why is your hand so cold?” Michael’s other hand went to hers, cupping her tiny palm in both of his strong ones. Lydia watched him nervously as his other hand then went to her other hanging by her side. He took it in his, bringing it up so that now he was holding both of her hands in both of his. “They’re both freezing.”

Lydia didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want Michael to know the real reason, that they were caused by her nightmares. That was now normal for her to wake up with ice cold fingers. She caught herself shrugging. “They’re always cold.” Was all she said.

Lydia tried to pull her hands free of Michael’s grasp, not wanting him to cause a fuss. Recoiling, she tried to hide them behind her back. But Michael grabbed for them again. He began to rub his palms against hers, trying to warm them. Lydia looked up at him surprised. She didn’t expect him to do that. Michael was much different than she’d expected. With Michael, things were different. Easier. Her mind wasn’t as frazzled when she was with him. He seemed to bring her a bit of happiness, making her temporarily forget about her dreams and Calista.

~*~

“Do you realize you’re out of milk?” Michael shut the refrigerator door, striding over to the couch where Lydia was sitting.

“Do you realize you’re consuming all of my food?” she smirked, tossing him a playful glare.

They’d been hanging out with each other for close to a week now. Lydia felt drawn to Michael. He made her feel safe from herself. Though he didn’t realize his worth, he was helping her far more then he even realized. But still, even when he was with her, she could still hear Calista’s whispers. But they were muffled, like someone’s hand was pressed against them, forcing them to be quiet. That hand was Michael’s, and for that Lydia was grateful.

“I’ll go with you to the grocery store later.” he plopped down next to her, draping an arm across the back of the couch. Lydia had her feet propped up on top of the coffee table, flipping through channels on the TV.

Michael brought her shelter with his presence, an escape she’d been unable to find ever since the nightmares began.

“We should go to the beach.” Michael plucked at her arm playfully, smiling at her.

Throughout the days that Michael had been with her, she also found herself developing feelings for him. Not only did he make her feel safe, but he also made her feel appreciated. The way he looked at her also made her believe that he was developing feelings for her as well.

Lydia rose from the couch, headed towards the kitchen. Suddenly, a migraine rippled through her mind, making her whimper. It was sudden and without a warning. It stretched across her mind, swallowing it in a heated pain. She hunched forward, shutting her eyes and whimpering.

“Lydia?” Michael’s voice was soft, but it bit through her mind like a sharp sound. “Are you ok?” 

Lydia began to tremble, and her body fell to the floor. The migraine riddled her body, and her vision was blurry around the edges. She heard Michael come up to her side, sinking to the ground. “What’s wrong?”

“My head.” She whimpered, her voice thick with pain. “It hurts.”

Michael wrapped his arms around her and held her as she trembled. “Is it a migraine?”

She clamped her lips shut, wanting to scream from the pain. “I think so.”

“Do you get these often?”

“Only once before.” She only remembered that one time when she had a migraine, just before Calista had whispered ‘You can’t run away from me.’

“Just sit here. It’ll probably be gone in a minute. I’m going to go get you some aspirin.”

Lydia was scared, because she knew this was more then just a migraine. It was much more then that. It was Calista, and she was doing something to Lydia. She didn’t know what, but something in her gut told her it had something to do with Calista trying to to take over.

Then there it was, that whisper that came before.

‘You can’t run away from me.’