The dream

a dream at a mountain

 

Noah had the same dream for the fifth time this week. In the dream, he was on an island. Everywhere around him, the wind was blowing from the near sea, sprinkling his face with droplets of salty water. While walking down the island searching for a place to rest, he found himself standing at the feet of a huge mountain. From somewhere around him a majestic voice resounded across the air. “Climb Noah, I need to meet you up, follow the voice.”

 

Shortly, a surge of energy ran through Noah’s blood and he started climbing the mountain. Although the rocks were pointy and coarse against his bare, he never gave up. The air was so strong against his face. For a moment, he thought that he lost balance, but then an invisible hand pushed him at his back. “Keep climbing,” The voice repeated.

 

Up ahead, Noah noticed a flicker of light. Unable to move his sight from the rocks at hand, he kept on climbing. Since he has been living in St. Catherine city for 12 years, He knew he was climbing Mount Sinai from the slippery, granite rocks. The mountaintops surrounded him from all directions. Their granite rocks glittered under the light of the stars, forcing Noah to squint frequently whenever he eyed them.

 

After a long time of climbing, Noah felt tired. He squeezed himself under two rocks and closed his eyes. Some minutes later, from a small cave at his left, a line of spiders hurried towards him. Their legs were thick and their skins were black with green spots.

 

Noah got to his feet and went on climbing. It seemed that the spiders were like a threat; they did not want him to stop.

 

Eventually, Noah reached the zenith of the mountain. All the rocks around him smelt of dead bodies, but one rock right in front of his eyes was different. A blinding white light spread in circles from all around it. Before Noah could reach the rock, he felt the ground at his feet trembling then a thudding sound emerged. As his heart fell, deep into his chest, the ground started changing into water and he fell deep into the newly formed ocean.

 

Author's Note

Please, give me advice to improve my writing.

Reviews

[PhantomDancer]

Wow, that is great work. Well done.

[NM Sarah]

Hi Tarek,
This is an interesting interpretation of the Noah story. I think the imagery and the ideas are very good. I'm not an experienced writer, but I bet we could work on the same things. I would try to avoid saying anything you have heard before like, "he never gave up" or "majestic voice." Every word can be your voice- a story told the way only Tarek could tell it. Cultivate your sound that way when people read your stuff they'll say, "Yeah, this must be Tarek."
So, nice work. Thanks for sharing your stuff. Keep writing.
Sarah

[deeps]

I like it the way it is. Reads super.
Very well written!

[Richard Longbow]

It has a dream feel to it. What I mean by that is that certain plot elements that seem important end up not playing a role in the end and strange things happen. I think you did a pretty good job. Keep it up!