Departing hearts

I wrote that with a bit of an intense. It revolves around emotions and feelings.

August 5th, 2014

I saw you once out with your friend, i swear it took me away from reality how you seemed that flawless to me. I saw you crackling, hitting a laugh, moving your fingertips along on your hair, and i couldn't be more thankful to see you that pretty.

I wish i had a chance to talk, but anyway you won't like me. I'm a little bit mess, if you know what this is. People disagree about the way i live with, they got no idea how terrifying it is for me to have it all on my own.

But i can promise you. I can promise you to survive. I can survive if you're there to help me make it through; and i know that days will be easier. Ain't nobody gives a s**t how the sun now doesn't give me the sunshine anymore. They say sunshines make your days even more beautiful, but i swear none of them ever calmed my stresses down. Probably its just me who doesn't wanna fight anymore.

I brought you a brisk condensation of how it made me feel before seeing you.


August 6th, 2015

Days are sulky, i'm feeling empty. The skies seem starless tonight, you ain't there anymore. Im having my heart crossed out for you, darling. I've never in my life gave so much away, not wanting any of them back. I want to touch you, maybe not with my hands, but with my heart. I want you to feel something nobody has ever given you. I want you to love the feeling of being alive.

I called you on a night, it was so cold, but i missed you, and i don't know why didn't you answer the call. It ached me the way i felt even colder, you haven't given me the touch of safety while hearing your voice. Instead, you gave me silence. You gave me breathless shivers. Now the devil took from me away all the memories.

I saw you out again, just like last year, without me. But i don't think it ever felt the same. It didn't feel the same pain of falling, falling too much for someone. Instead, it was falling apart. I saw you out, with him. It rips me apart right now that here i tell, you just replaced me. It f***s me up how easy for you to replace me with another. It just tires me how your stories, you guys, are too long, maybe longer than ours used to be. Enough for the heartbreaks, my love.

September 7th, 2015

It hits my throats up, how breathless i became for the moment to find out, that i was that easy, f*****g easy to replace. Now that it tears me apart, that our memories for you just faded away, i swear i ain't having a reason to still stay for, except that the most important one, is that i'm still down for you. Last year, i had something with myself that i'll always be falling for you. I struggle with the promise that i want myself so bad to break, but perhaps, thats the hardest promise i ever made in my life. To let you in my life, and disregard your existence.

My love, oh still you are. How could you ever think i'm that stupid to ever take you over from my life? I can't even handle the thought that you're not there anymore. It still haunts me late at night the 150 reasons i had for loving you. I hope for you to be loved the same way, by him, now.
But please, if you ever see me, don't you mistake me like last year, i'll still fall for your laugh, for your voice that whispers you had enough, for the touch of your hand holding something. I'll still love the smallest details. I'll still question about your hesitations when somebody questions you what your favorite song is. Maybe i was that song you used to skip on your playlist.

October 8th, 2015
I still write about you. Everyday of my life, since that day, when i met you. When so far, it couldn't have gone any easier to break me the way it did. And i wish to have you like for a last time to tell you, oh sorry i want you again. Then the thought that you're with him hits me, oh, how could you ever do that to me. You just promised me. You promised to have me, to be with me, to live for me. Now i wish i could die so i could never see you breaking any of your promises, meanwhile, i'll still want to see you. I'll still crave the feeling of having you around; the sensations that you utter me, how you brag me out the most angelic lines that keep me held, and how you hold me near, so close to you that i feel your heartbeat, and oh that was my existence in your life. Those feelings had me like i'm rushed to die, barely even living to feel them once again.

Author's Note

Its full of sad feelings. I think moving on is that hard, and departing of both hearts do ache their bodies.

Reviews

[Riley]

i can tell you really did pour your heart out in this, excellent work!

[Habiba Tag]

Wow, thank you so much!