Dawn to Dusk

An exploration of grief, in its different stages.

The autumnal sky, vacant and orange
As the unrelenting wind nips and moans,
Dispersing the dead leaves of fall

The pain of love lost stabs in spasms from deep within,
Weakening my body, racking it with dry sobs
Never have I known such total hopelessness and despair

There is nowhere to go; there is nowhere to rest
All is meaningless; everywhere is pointless
The world is as the evening: bleak, lonely . . . dead

I long for the solace of your voice
And the internal warmth
That I trusted would always reside in you

For of my life, you became the center
The pedestal
Round which my world revolved

---

I was sheltered; you acquainted me to the world
And now you've killed the dream
Of me and you

I was blind, now I see you
For who you are
And the path you’ve led us to

The time of innocence has given way to the insurgence of deceit
The euphoria of love to the carnality of lust
Tender companionship to pervading emptiness

This is reality, a fact I recognize
In the waning light, I realize quotidian routine must resume
It shall be a life devoid of you

One by one, I water the endless rows of flower pots and plants
I do this to nourish them;
I droop a little further with each one

Reviews

[Gandré]

first welcome to the caf�.

There is nowhere to go; there is nowhere to rest
All is meaningless; everywhere is pointless
The world is as the evening: bleak, lonely . . . dead ---------- I loved this part, because it is so true. There is nowhere else to go.

a great poem, and I didn t want it ending. astonishly good. i can't believe that you fail in something. you are so profund. love it. greetings from germany, lara.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This poem hits home for me as i can realte and most of us probably can..
I like the verse , I long for the solace of your voice and the eternal warmth that i knew could alwys be found in you.. that is so full of meaning and emotion.. we take some things for granted and then realize what we had when it isn't there anymore.. not saying you ddi this just in general many of us to it.. i like this poem it is well written and very sad and meaningful.. also i am not good with critquing , so sorry..

Chloe
xoxo

[J. Elsie]

The pain of love lost stabs in spasms from deep within,Weakening my body, racking it with dry sobs || I can feel these two phrases. I have felt them before. An aching from within. No better word than "racking" here. Dry sobs and that ache take so much out of you. Its physically draining. Exhausting. Ah. love. So blissful. Eh?The world is as the evening: bleak, lonely . . . dead|| I've never found the evening to be 'bleak, lonely...dead' but now I can see it as that. I love the ellipses pause here. It just feels so right. and Powerful.I long for the solace of your voiceAnd the internal warmthThat I knew could always be found in youI was sheltered; you acquainted me to the worldAnd now you've killed the dreamOf me and you|| The first two lines of the first stanza are beautiful... but the third one just seems so ordinary to me. I can't think of the best way to phrase it.. but maybe instead of 'knew' you could use 'trust' or a synonym. or maybe instead of 'found' you could use 'reside' or a synonym. Words like that my spruce up an otherwise 'dead' phrase. The second stanza the first line is terrific. But the second two lines are failing somehow. They dont seem connected to the first line. Use the 'dream' of 'something' in your line.. Or use the 'world' or some aspect of it was what has been killed in the second or third line. Wish I could explain it more.The euphoria of love to the carnality of lustTender companionship to pervading emptiness || YES! These lines are perfection. "Carnality" what a wonderful word for how lust moves.-- I realize I may have picked at this quite a bit. Please know that everything I say is just my opinion and I thought this was a terrific poem, truly, otherwise I'd have not taken the time to share my thoughts. I love it. And it should be published. Just needs a little more strength here and there and perhaps I'm not the person who can tell you how to give it that strength.Best wishes always!Jenn