Blizzard of Oz

This is a story i wrote Freshman year for a writing Process class. Words we had to use: Milkshake, Hurricane, and Lawn Mower and yes after I read it there are little innuendos in it

One day in Worcester, I was in my bedroom drinking a milkshake when there was a

hurricane warning. I thought, “A hurricane in Worcester!! C’mon!!” But, I had second thoughts.

I looked out the window and trees were getting pulled out of the ground and my neighbor was

lifted into the air, lawn mower and all, which was the last of him. Suddenly, a flashlight, from

the house on the other side of me, came through the window and whacked me on the head. I

was unconscious.

Next thing I knew, I was in a weird land with singing little people. They called

themselves the Kunchmins. From what they said, my bed crushed the infamous Milkshake

Mandy, who was a really bad witch. I was greeted by the adorable Candy Apple League. Their

leader, Mandy’s sister, Milkshake Blenda, told me to follow the cobblestone road to the

Blizzard of Oz. He would help me find my way back to Worcester.

When I was following the cobblestone road there was, literally, a fork in the road. I

looked down because I heard a mumbling noise and it was a Birdman. Birdman told me he

wanted a brain so he could learn to fly straight. I told him that I’m going to see the Blizzard of

Oz. So he came along, crookedly though.

We ended up in the woods and Birdman flew into a tree, so I left him there. I then

stepped on this dude who looked dead. I tried to help him but he woke up and scared me. He

said, “My name is Hearty Heathcliff and I’m in desperate need of a defibrillator or a heart,

preferably a heart. Can you help me? What’s your name?” I replied, “Yes, I can, we are going to

see the royal Blizzard of Oz. My name’s Gabby and I want to go home to Worcester.” Off I went

with my challenged friends.

Third stop was a huge cliff. The three of us heard blood-curdling screams. We turned to

our left, but, as dumb as Birdman was, he turned to his right. There was a man who wanted to

do something but I couldn’t understand what. I asked, “What’s your name and what’s up?” He

replied, “My name is Bungee-Jumping Brian Joseph. It’s more like what’s down for me. I’m

afraid of heights and I really wanna bungee jump. I need help.” I told him, “Well, we are going

to meet the Blizzard of Oz so he can give Birdman a brain, Hearty Heathcliff a heart, and help

me get home to Worcester. I’m sure he’ll be glad to help you, too.” B.J.B.J came along with us.

While we were traveling, apparently Milkshake Blenda forgot to tell us something

because we were getting chased by flying pigs. We eventually made them fly away by throwing

grass at them so they could sit and eat. Bungee-Jumping Brian Joseph was so scared; he started

stoning some pigs, killing them. I had to pull him away because he was so proud of himself that

he froze on the spot.

We arrived at Blabbath (Black Sabbath together) where there was this huge mansion.

The place scared the living crap out of me. I saw Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man and Tom

Hanks next to his crazy train, the Polar Express. As I looked around, I thought, there’s too much

darkness to get happy stuff. Still, I walked up to the mansion and banged the skull knocker 666

times. When I reached the last bang, I heard, “SHARON!!!!!!! GET THE DOOR!!!!!” In another

British accent, a woman said, “I CAN’T, I’M IN THE BATHROOM!!!!!! KELLY GET THE DOOR!!!!!”

At this time, the four of us were standing outside for at least 20 minutes. We heard yet another

British accent saying, “I CAN’T, I’M CLEANING THE POOL!!!! JACK YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE

LEFT!!!!! GET THE DOOR!!!!!!” The last accent was of a guy who said, “BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!

ALRIGHT!!!!!” As the guy opened the door, I knew exactly who he and the family were, the

Osbournes. I freaked as soon as Jack said ‘ello; I screeched. I told him I was sorry and he asked

if we wanted to see the Blizzard. I said, “Yes.”

We walked in and I was stunned at how big the mansion was. He led us through his

house as if it were MTV Cribs. We ended up in what Jack called the Blizzard of Oz’s campout.

We enter the room and there was Ozzy sitting on the couch drinking beer. “What do you

want?” he asked. I answered, “Milkshake Blenda sent us to you to help Birdman get a brain,

Hearty Heathcliff get a heart, Bungee-Jumping Brian Joseph get some courage, and me to get

home to Worcester.” He told us that it was with us all along and we never used it. Aside from

that he commented that we Americans are as dumb as Amy Winehouse, Tara Reid, Paris Hilton,

Nicole Ritchie, and Britney Spears combined. Embarrassed, we walked away, but as we were

leaving he said, “Oh Gabby by the way, to get home, you just sit in my Prince of Darkness

throne and say ‘Beetlejuice’ three times and you’ll return home.” I did as the Prince of

Darkness said and waved goodbye to my friends and with the big guitar solo from “Iron Man”

by Black Sabbath, I ended up home.

I arrived home and found out that it was a total dream. The hurricane didn’t even

happen and Mr. Griffyths was perfectly well and moving. My mom and dad were looking at me

like I as from another planet. I asked them what happened and they said it sounded like you

were talking to imaginary friends in your sleep. I was thankful that I was home and around my

family and so we celebrated with some Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne.