Sea Me

souls call the open waters 

looking back who will alter 

fate meet my destiny 

all knowing for eternity 

riding the wave of self understanding

cresting and falling, no land is the landing 

sea serpents twisted my soul, you see

taking hands that belong to me 

hurting tender do not go 

hardly helpful of which I know 

baseless, empty, entity

waves flourish for eternity

when fate met my destiny   

in the sea of self discovery   

Reviews

[Samantha Rao]

Its a beautiful poem, i love it!!

[steppenwolf]

I like rhyming poems and this one is well done.

[s y e]

I loved this, Holls - a great write that always seems to bring back some memories, lovely!

[poetdoug]

"Waves flourish for eternity when fate met my destiny in the sea of self discovery"
Well penned my friend. And great title: "Sea Me"--it all flows together perfectly.

[Holly Mason]

Hey I sea you*) hope you see me as well hahah*)
Thank you fine poet Doug have a super great day

[Inspiring Writer]

Beautifully written. The art of writing's great.

[Holly Mason]

well I thank you ...new friend I am *)

[prachi prangya agasti]

nice use of metaphors... a beautiful piece.. loved it...

[Holly Mason]

Thank you much , truly

[prachi prangya agasti]

welcum... :)

[SyberRose]

The sea has a way of calming our souls...the scent is so rejuvenating ...loved this Holly.

[Sami Khalil]

Excellent use of metaphors to get your point or points across done in a concise manner ...Bravo...Pen on...:)

[Holly Mason]

thank you fine sir

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome fine lady...:)

[moblues]

My suggestion:

souls call the open waters
looking back who will alter

fate meet my destiny

all knowing for eternity

riding the wave of
self understanding

cresting and falling,
no land is the landing

sea serpents twisted my soul,
you see

taking hands that belong to me
hurting tender do not go
hardly helpful of which I know
baseless, empty, entity

waves flourish for eternity
when fate met my destiny
in the sea of self discovery

[Holly Mason]

is this suggestion showing how it would be better be read out loud? Like the line breaks...interesting...just curious *) I try to write something the way I like it to sound when read out loud...this one I was not searching for perfect meter more just verbal flow but I like your version when read out loud....especially the break with ...you see ...thank you very much

[moblues]

You are more than welcome, Holly. I look at poetry as a living thing. It needs to breathe sometimes. And yes, this would be for a read for an audience. I think this poem would be very well received.