Broken Heart Palace

Opening soon...

Broken Heart Palace

rooms will be cheap

entertainment....none

pool area dirty and green

no complimentary offerings

nothing of the Hilton scene

no nice desk clerks

no extra towels for two

ice machine broken

dirty sheets for you

pay as you go...

with broken dreams

no credit accepted

we choose who stays

Broken Heart Palace

is in the remodeling phase

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Please cancel my reservation. Thanks.

Nice one.

[Holly Mason]

are you sure to cancel...room has a hell of a view thank you much

[Frieda P]

Seen that view, no thank you. ;-)

[Purplerose]

What a clever write. Awesome! :)

[Holly Mason]

thank you for taking time to read and review much

[catofjade]

oh more please!! then what, then what???

[Holly Mason]

then you lose the key and some one else finds it.thank you again

[Allen Smuckler]

Very well done Holly. Concise, Yet so colorfully expressive with imaginative and thoughtful use of metaphors. Great imagery through out. Though rhyme did not follow any consistent or traditional scheme or form, it worked and felt unforced and rhythmical.
(especially liked the use of near or slant rhymes (soon-none; phase-stays)...
Certainly hit home with this reader and I'm sure many others...
sad but true...
Excellent write Holly
Allen

[Holly Mason]

thank you very much for taking time to read and review

[Eagle Cruagh]

Most of us, sailors who have passed round
the horn, soldiers with a couple of hitches
and old cowboys who have ridden their last
bull, we have all stayed there and it`s a
lonesome place.
You have incredible insight and deep seated
knowledge of the "other people".
Congratulations, you have survived and your
writing flavors all that you have seen.
Great writing.
---- Eagle Cruagh

[Ruth]

I love this, cleverly done! Message powerful! :)

[elastagirl]

I loved the title. The discriptive writing was tantalizing.

[Holly Mason]

thanks much

[Mister Rat]

The title caught my eye like nothing else. The theme is fantastic also. : ]]

[Holly Mason]

thanks much

[Allan W]

I find myself thinking of this as song lyrics, there's a lyrical mitre to it. A sad poem I thought but right at the end there's a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. Stylistic - I liked it alot!

[Holly Mason]

thank you just started writing 2 weeks ago after 20 years and I am finding a lot of my work sounds lyrical maybe I am a song writer hahah

[William Teague]

Great write. I've stayed here. I thought the rug was covered in cigarette burns, but luckily it was only roaches. lol,

[Holly Mason]

always thank you