Suspicious fellow

Look over your shoulder

for he is around

tip toeing behind you

yet not making a sound

sweet breath you feel

as he touches your hair

you think your alone

touching you is a dare

your walls are tall

mighty and strong

how dare he touch

as you walk along

all by yourself

all alone in this world

tell tale signs

of a lost little girl

shoulders back

you smell him again

he will not leave you

just be his friend

you give in a little

hold his hand in yours

to be so convincing

will open many doors

suspicious fellow

following you

touched your heart

yes GOD is true

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I didn't realize that I was in a rhyming poem until the fourth stanza. I think that's a good thing. I used to write in rhymes a lot but I slipped away from that. It isn't easy. A lot of people obscure their meaning for the sake of the rhymes, still others give up rhythm in order to rhyme. You have not committed either of these offenses with the possible exception of the second to last stanza which, while not bad seems a smidge short of the bar you have set in the rest of the poem. I wonder how the poem would read without that stanza.

[Holly Mason]

I write what feels good I am also not sure about the stanza but I am a leave my mistake so others can learn kinda girl strange but true thank you so much for taking time to read and comment

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i agree, quite the surprise ending...

i was traveling a different path before i was touched on the shoulder with a different direction.

spooky good poem...makes the hair on the neck rise a bit.

the one line should be "you think you're alone"---

[Holly Mason]

I really enjoy your corrections I have been dead of mind so long I have forgotten proper English..please don"t tell my mom!thank you Jacob please keep showing me the way

[Jack...]

Enjoyed this poem and the surprise ending.