Hearts Trapped In Failure's Paradox

Been holding on to this one, ironically enough.

in the ashes
of our broken dreams
we pretend to be friends...
making sand castles

Our naive hearts
hide and seek, flirtatiously
through the burnt debris
of a home we couldn't save

at our fanciest tea parties
exposed, but well-dressed resentments
cordially sip soot from broken cups
ignoring the charred table between them

heated tempers sparked, savagely
a vernal union... burn'd at the stake
it's there, standing in the fire
that we were never more honest

ignoring the omen that smoke gives
gold promises break (in flame's wake),
at the scorched edges of forever
we pretend to be friends...

playing make-believe

Author's Note

Holding on to want you know is gone, is dangerously counterproductive to the mind, heart, and spirit. Sometimes, letting go is what's best... even if you have to say farewell to a friend. Thank you for reading, your thoughts are welcomed.

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I have a suggestion before i forget the "them" at the end of the third stanza may be more suited with "us". I dont know if that was placed there for tech. reasons but it pushes me outta feeling of you and her into someone else's life. The poem itself is grand...such a hard emotional subject. The living in the same life that is just all a facade now...just motions... It is quite literal for me. We had a house fire about 10yrs ago that destroyed our lives....everything just 'poof' in a life that was already stretched outta shape. It took years of hard work to overcome all the things that fire burn outta us and into us. Thank you for sharing something so personal to you.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I actually drafted it as "us," but felt as if it drew away from the facades that people project in those situations. I wanted to highlight the falsehoods we create as a defense mechanism. I do appreciate your bravery in relaying your suggestion... don't get that much anymore.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Ah I get it....I try to give suggestions because we are here to learn and I know I need alot of poetic training! :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Absolutely, I consider myself a student and I am always open to helpful suggestions.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Always feel you can do the same when you stop by for a read. I am a blam..there it is kinda poet...I write free style and without hesitation but that makes me kinda bad at editing..

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Will do, and I understand... I don't edit much of my work either. I've been planning to revisit some of my older work for that very reason, but never seem to get it done. Lol

[barleygirl]

I love the way you use startling descriptions ("sip soot from broken cups" . . . "scorched edges of forever") . . . which pretty much lift your poem into a moon orbit. I'm reminded of so many people who keep fighting it out, rather than making the break. You are so right . . . people do this all the time & you pegged it with palpable futility (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Unfortunately, I wrote this from a position of personal experience. My exwife and I, stayed together much too long after we knew things were over. "Palpable futility," you just can't turn off that beautiful relationship you have with words can you? Lol

[barleygirl]

Thank you . . . this is why I haven't been in any longterm relationships in my 62 years . . .

[Crowley]

“Cordially sip soot from broken cups.” Love that line. Not being able to move on is a waste of time and energy, sad thing is we know that every step of the way. Your style of writing reminds me of my own. You have great command of language and make original visuals keep one I tested and moving down the page. Great writing!!!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you... given your talent, I'm extremely humbled that you've found any similarities in our work. Your words are uplifting, and I hope my work continues to impress.

[LJW]

I see you took the fire theme and ran with it here too, as I did in CRITICAL.
Fire is emotion. A universal all can relate to. Who among us has not been burned to ash? And then who among us has not risen Phoenix-like to seek out the inviting flames again?

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Those all too inviting flames... if only they were meant to be tamed.

[Dara]

The images you have created here are powerful and unforgettable. I love your style and the message is one we can all relate to. A keeper for me!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I'm pleased you found my words to be so affecting... your sincerity will also be unforgettable.

[Monroe]

Very fond of this imagery you've created of romance trapped in an ambience of decay and destruction. The juxtaposition aides your message beautifully.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you... I'm pleased you enjoyed this and decided to leave the lovely review. I look forward to reviewing your work as well.

[KCthelastboyscout]

Always let go all the way. you can't rebuild on ashes.you have rebuild again with an all new foundation

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

A hard lesson I learned in hindsight. Thank you for the gem.

[.]

There will be many who agree with your words here, Travis, and just as many who are prepared to do whatever it takes to avoid failure. The stigma of failure is that strong that sometimes it is difficult to give up on what may seem a hopeless cause. It all comes down to the individuals involved. For even a wreck can be salvaged and restored. And sometimes it is impossible and the truth does set you free.

A very important work, Travis. Deeply realistic and very well conceived. Nicely done.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

You are absolutely right, my friend. Some things can be salvaged from the wreckage, it takes a conscious effort, pretending that nothing is wrong is what will prevent progress. I did that for many years with my ex wife, these piece was conceived as a warning of such behavior.

I do appreciate you taking time to give such an in-depth and sincere review! Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

"ignoring the charred table between them

heated tempers sparked, savagely
a vernal union... burn'd at the stake"

I guess relationships have their seasons, their growth and death, their ups and downs so to speak. Hard to impose anything but let things unfold freely. It will hurt us the most or it may hurt others for we are fragile and we need TLC. Amazing poem my friend.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

They do have their seasons don't they... even when we want them to last for forever.

[Sami Khalil]

All true. You are welcome.

[lightsong]

Somewhere through Your words, I wanted to cry, Your words can apply to more thank one state or situation, like for example aside of Your author's note, I see also a "fake" relationship where two people pretend the smiles to each others while their hearts know the truth.

how hard it must be, how difficult it must be, when the heart says yes, and the mind says no, what an inner battle it must be... thank You my friend, for saying the truth though it hurts, for sharing these profound words with us.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

You are right. There are many types of relationships that we must separate ourselves from. It's just so much easier said than done. Thank you for such an insightful review.