The Demons I Can't Write About

If only my past, were so easily left behind as the concept implies.

staring from the depths
that only I see,
doggedly calling to me
in voices only I hear

an exhausted spirit
bargains with shadowed demons
to stay hidden from familiar sight,
festering on tucked away yesterdays

and they comply...
what then is the cost
of a soul in suffering,
when shrouded in borrowed felicity

as the monstrous voices dim
poetic hands break for freedom;
blue lines streaked on white
where ink roams exempt of onus

how easily a writer forgets
the etchings of our art
(feverish pen strokes on paper)
echo to our very depths

tortured ink stained hands,
chafe a dark pact with each stroke
fly ridden yesterdays lose flavor
the present, much too tasty to resist

so, they come for me;
per contract: hungry and remorseless
ascending grooves and foot holes
they, or I could never forget

I'm found (like lightening to ground)
hunched over a worn notebook
they sink claws into my back,
screams (theirs and mine) deafen thought

halted pen strokes signal defeat
they stand, glaring at ebbing courage
backwater dealings are reestablished
they comply, and I... stop writing

Author's Note

I hope it isn't a hectic read... wrote it about 4 in the morning. Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Draven]

A fantastic poem Sir! Fantastic indeed. I haven't read anything this good in days.
"how easily a writer forgets
the etchings of our art
(feverish pen strokes on paper)
echo to our very depths"
- that is an amazing stanza. That stanza really hit home with me.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, I'm glad the piece translates so well and reaches you in such a way.

[KAin]

This is brilliant!
Ah, wrestling demons. I daresay, that when a writer isn't writing, he's doing that, grappling with darkest shadows of the subconscious, trying to claw his/her way out of the blackest recesses of the soul.
At all points, I've found that it's best not to allow oneself to be subjugated by the storm - in subjugation there is silence, and the quieting of the words of the writer. Either allow yourself to be carried by the winds and the tides - and thus speak of the storms either in praise or condemnation... or command them!

Extremely well, written, sir. Keep it up!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Command them, indeed! Usually my dark side is inspiring to my pen hand, but it's that realm below even the bottom that is still out of reach. But, I do thank you for reading and leaving such a fantastic review.

[KAin]

I believe that any and every thing can fuel the inspiration. Sometimes it's just a little harder as you need to keep changing perspective to frame things in the right way. This is a good poem,it touches on the issues that i believe every writer struggles with sooner or later.

[Lyn Anderson]

An interesting flow of thought, and coherently fluid. lightning? or lightening?

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you... either or, it's a humbling thought.

[Baby Ricochet]

I heard a slam poet refer to his memories of his deployment to Iraq as "lucifer's barbaque" I thought his description was spot on. Like this poem and the difficulty of writing from one's own dark places. It isn't easy when the demons in your head have ulterior motives.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Ulterior motives indeed... some dark places are just too deep. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, bro.

[MsJewel]

This is amazing Travis...
I can definitely relate to those demons that haunt - appearing when we least expect it...and yet there are times when we need them for inspiration. Your poem felt very "real" to me - I'm sure you have shared something deeply personal. Again, an amazing poem.
:) Julie

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so much, Julie. I have a lot of respect for your craft, and I am truly humbled by your thoughts.

[redflutterby]

This is brilliant Travis and I know a truly personal write. Whether writer or poet few understand how deeply our demons are intwined in the processes of our pens. Some may feed on it...producing their greatest works while others struggle to keep the darkness at bay to let the ink flow. I personally have found it impossible to write about certain emotions or experiences without being in that current state. Its frustrating to say the least.

As always your words and ability affect me deeply...thank you for sharing of yourself..

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Red, you truly understand where this piece came from. I am also frustrated by not being able to write about the core of my struggles. I hope this type of piece will lead to the strength to do so one day. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

[Laura Harrison]

This is perfect to say you wrote it at 4 in the morning! Hauntingly beautiful, well done :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so very much.

[Coyote Poetry]

They say people who love to write and love the word. We are a bit insane.
"tortured ink stained hands,
chafe a dark pact with each stroke
fly ridden yesterdays lose flavor
the present, much too tasty to resist "
Old age make us dig into the past and figure out the wrong and right too late. Sort of a hateful way to ensure we won't forget the past. I like this poem. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, your wonderful words on this piece are humbling.

[Frieda P]

I can feel you clawing your way through this darkly colored view, it's an affecting read Travis, and I know it well....those demons that never rest, always hovering somewhere deep in the psyche, never knowing when they'll creep into your mind.

an exhausted spirit
bargains with shadowed demons
to stay hidden from familiar sight,
festering on tucked away yesterdays

I love it first word to last, that stanza, that festering, exhausted soul, really got to me....never 'stop writing' by they way. Outstandng.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so very much, Freida. I knew you would understand the place this comes from. I actually thought of you whilst writing this, the courage I've read in your work, inspires me still. I am trying to work my way up to that level of release.

[Frieda P]

What a dear thing to say Travis, it's not easy I know, you just have to dig deep and say fook it, I'm putting it out there, those who understand will be appreciative that they're not alone...be bold my sweet friend. ;-) x

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you... and believe, I am holding your advice dearly.