Sleep Never Came

My 1st Tanka

Passing hours laugh
Sleep, be swift in your descent
Pillows have no cures
This wandering mind stumbles
When will it fall upon rest

Author's Note

Another insomnia driven write. It's my first Tanka, your critique is welcome.

Reviews

[Jack...]

Very cool my friend. Fortunately I don't have this problem, at least not completely. It sleep easily but staying asleep is the problem. It seems to me that I am so excited to start a new day and don't want to miss anything that I constantly wake up throughout the night to check the clock. But if insomnia creates wonderful poems like this, maybe I should try it sometime.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Jack I appreciate such a wonderful review. I envy sleep finding you so easily, it's beyond difficult getting my mind to shut down at times. It swirls with words or images... every now and then, I can pull something cohesive out of the chaos.

[Sami Khalil]

I like this alot...Good job dear poet...:)...............

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks, Sami... your thoughts are always appreciated.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...Any time...:).....................

[Cassie]

hahahaha.....this one I relate with it too well, you know what I mean. I enjoyed it

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I do. I'm glad you enjoyed it, this insomnia has been killing me lately.

[Cassie]

Try the advise I gave you, tell me how it goes tomorrow....

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Will do.......

[Cassie]

Sleep finally came, glad it did. Hope you are well

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks, I hope you are well also.

[Frieda P]

I think your syllable count is off, but no matter, those of us you have insomnia can hardly count! Ha, good one Travis.

[Frieda P]

You might want to change the first line to 'taunting hours pass' that'll make it 5. :-)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Lol true, but I want to get it right. It's 5-7-5-7-7, right? Which line is off?

[Frieda P]

Just that first line, I think, don't ask me any hard questions, I didn't sleep either. Lol....

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Lol you were right... that's twice tonight. ;) haha I fixed it tho.

[Frieda P]

Ha, good one, I like it....although I must be doing it wrong since there's no laughing going on when I can't sleep....hahaha ;-)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Lol all the clocks I see laugh at me. Haha delirium hits us all differently, it keeps dissension within our ranks that way. Lol

[Frieda P]

Laughing clocks eh? That should be your next write hahaha