Sleep Never Came

My 1st Tanka

Passing hours laugh
Sleep, be swift in your descent
Pillows have no cures
This wandering mind stumbles
When will it fall upon rest

Author's Note

Another insomnia driven write. It's my first Tanka, your critique is welcome.

Reviews

[:o]

I thought you did a great job on this for a first Tanka. I've had trouble with sleep in the past so these words strike home for me. Nice job on this.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, your kind words and visit are greatly appreciated.

[Rod Dangers]

Awesome. Having suffered from Insomnia i can relate massively to this, i sometimes miss the insomnia, as i felt some of my better writing came in those small hours laying restlessly with all manner of thoughts in my head. It is both a blessing and a curse when it hits.
Written spot on to form and unless you had highlighted it was a Tanka, i dont think i wouldve noticed as nothing felt forced or manipulated to fit the "rules".
Great stuff.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks, RD insomnia plagues me off and on. It can result in some pretty good writting. I do thank you for leaving such a great review.

[Rose Diamond]

This poem describes my life so accurately it's almost scary! :P

This poem was excellent, and it shall definitely be added to my favourites!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Rosie... your thoughts are always uplifting. I do hope you don't lose to much sleep though.

[Lyn Anderson]

A lot said inside a little. Great form, although I am not an expert on Tanka by any means, just like what I like.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you... I'm no expert either, but I do plan on revisiting the form again. You right about it being a great form, your thoughts and review are appreciated.

[redflutterby]

Very good first tanka...and I can relate. Could use a good nights sleep right now.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you... and I hope a restful night's sleep finds you soon.

[Lydia Shutter]

Ah, Morpheus has not been kind to you lately, eh? Nothing worse than a sleepless night when all the ghosts and ghoulies of the past come out to haunt us. Past mistakes because rocks in our pillows on nights like that. You have said so much in four short lines. Wonderful work. Lydi**

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Lydia... and yes, Morpheous hasn't been very kind to me lately.

[Troy Henson]

Pillows show no mercy especially when it's our subconscious that robs us of that slumber we so crave.

I hope you find rest my friend

Regards

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

You speak pure truth and thanks, friend. Your review and thoughts are greatly appreciated.

[Baby Ricochet]

That's why the doc gave me Xanax and Restoril. That combo will put anyone to sleep.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I might have to consider calling the doc then. Lol thanks for the review, BR.

[Pryde Foltz]

Pillows have no cures
This wandering mind stumbles
When will it fall upon rest

Pillows are a granite slab that somehow continues to move under your head. Great one, PH.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

They truly are that at times. Thanks, Pryde you've been influencing my hand in the short poetry arena.

[Pryde Foltz]

That is awesome.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

It really is, and I do thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I also have a very hard time sleeping...my mind always racing...the muse always pestering me...and like jack...don't want to miss a day, so always antsy to get up and be doing.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I know the feeling, sleep does feel like a waste. Lol maybe, that's why our minds hate running to it willingly. Haha