Sleep Never Came

My 1st Tanka

Passing hours laugh
Sleep, be swift in your descent
Pillows have no cures
This wandering mind stumbles
When will it fall upon rest

Author's Note

Another insomnia driven write. It's my first Tanka, your critique is welcome.

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This was short and simple, but very good, and well written.
Out of only a little paragraph you have simply written about how hard it was to sleep.
Great poem :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so very much.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

your most welcome :)

[Oyindamola Shoola]

short but beautiful....sometimes I thank God when sleep runs from me because it is then the inspirations to write rests on my pen....I love it and thanks for sharing..

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you and I know exactly what you mean... I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Wuji]

A very pleasant read, I was amazed by the line:

1. Pillows have no cures

I am of the impression that that line alone made this poem come alive, you clearly have a high metaphorical IQ. Quite artistic! :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, such a thought is truly humbling. Given the company here in the cafe, I'd say it's slightly above average. ;)

[Angel Criner]

Simple words with great meaning... I'm far too familiar with nights like these. Bravo.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, I guess the writer's mind never sleeps. Your visit and review are greatly appreciated.

[Daydreamer]

I love the simplicity of this poem, The best poetry is often the most impactful minus the extra fluff.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Kim I appreciate your kind review.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I really like this as it describes so succinctly those sleepless restless times as you toss and turn on your pillow to no avail. Check the first line as I could only get 4 on?

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

The 1st line is actually a revision. It's was debated whether, hours was one or two syllables... I was informed, I was wrong in my thinking it was one. Lol Guess I need some concrete closure on the matter. Lol but thank you for the review.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Try 'passing night hours laugh'

[Rachelle]

The story of my life! And yet, from insomnia, I have grown - I have prayed, written, painted, sculpted, taught myself how to code and created a couple of start-ups just from insomnia.... It has its perks!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

That it does and you have used it with great effect! Thanks for leaving me with your thoughts.

[SyberRose]

Nicely done Travis...I don't think I have ever written a tanka...good job...Rose:)happy new year to ya.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Rose. If you decide to write one, please send me a R/R. Happy New Years to you as well.

[Yellow Butterfly]

When your mind wonders it produces such sublime poetry..... yours is the first TANKA I have had the pleasure to read.....

I'm in awe and inspired....and have written my first TANKA too... :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

You have left me at a loss for words. I am honored beyond measure and look forward to reading what your pen comes up with.

[Sami Khalil]

"Pillows have no cures
This wandering mind stumbles
When will it fall upon rest"

Just splendid

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks again, Sami... i appreciate your kind thoughts.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)....................