Snow Envy
A Poem by Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)
Insomnia driven Haiku
Winter's diamonds flew
Settled in crystalline bliss
Peace I wish I knew
© 2014 Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)
Author's Note
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For Pryde. I hope my shot measures up... here's my product from the seed you planted. Big thanks to you. ;) thank you all for reading.
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Reviews
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Dear Poetic Heroics,
Hello, how are you doing today? I had a little free time so I thought I might read some interesting pieces on the Cafe. This was the first item on my newsfeed so I thought I might take a look. I question the title after reading this haiku however the title "Snow Envy" seems like it would be better if it were titled "Envy of the Snow" or "My Envy for the Snow" because the words snow envy seem to give the snow the emotion of envy rather than the narrator, but that is just my opinion.
I like how you described the snow as "winter's diamonds." It gave the snow beauty and prestige, adding a tone of admiration. I like how subtly that admiration turns to envy which I thinknis a common thing in society. It gives a humanistic view to it besides the blunt idea of the desire for peace
I also like the last line because it males me think of how peaceful nature is because it is just so natural.
I say good job.
Sincerely Jazzsoulkeke,
God bless
Posted 10 Years Ago
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10 Years Ago
Hey, Jazzsoulkeke. First, I want to thank you for such a thoughtfully analytical review, don't get t.. read moreHey, Jazzsoulkeke. First, I want to thank you for such a thoughtfully analytical review, don't get them enough around here. I toiled with the title, but felt the current one best described the subject and emotional tone, collectively. I'm glad you were able to enjoy the piece and sincerely thank you for leaving me with your honest thoughts.
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10 Years Ago
Thank you, Rita I owe this to Pryde. Wanted to put a piece of me in it, comprehensively of course. I.. read moreThank you, Rita I owe this to Pryde. Wanted to put a piece of me in it, comprehensively of course. I'm glad to know it came out so successfully.
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0 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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10 Years Ago
Thanks, bro.
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10 Years Ago
I actually despise snow. Lol wrote this after one of this year's first snow fall. Thank you for such.. read moreI actually despise snow. Lol wrote this after one of this year's first snow fall. Thank you for such lovely thoughts on this piece.
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10 Years Ago
You are so welcomed.
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10 Years Ago
Thank you, I wish I could share in your beautiful perspective of this season.
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10 Years Ago
You do.... in your writing... :)
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10 Years Ago
Thank you, you're too kind.
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10 Years Ago
Thanks, bro short poetry isn't usually my thing, but I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. If you want s.. read moreThanks, bro short poetry isn't usually my thing, but I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. If you want some really great examples of haikus, it would be a disservice for me not to direct you to, "Pryde Foltz." She is a few comments down (if you don't know her that is). I'm looking forward to see what you come up with, be sure to send some R/R.
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10 Years Ago
Thank you, Renee. It's great hearing from you. I hope the New Year has been well to you thus far. Th.. read moreThank you, Renee. It's great hearing from you. I hope the New Year has been well to you thus far. They indeed were the powdery snowflakes. ;)
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10 Years Ago
Cheers Travis to the new year ! ( :
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10 Years Ago
Indeed, cheers!
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10 Years Ago
Thank you, Rosie you always leave me smiling after reading your thoughts.
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10 Years Ago
Thanks, Pryde this is actually my 2nd or 3rd Haiku. I'm glad I didn't strike out though. Lol short p.. read moreThanks, Pryde this is actually my 2nd or 3rd Haiku. I'm glad I didn't strike out though. Lol short poetry is not my strong point.
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10 Years Ago
I think you got it but go with your passion.
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10 Years Ago
Thanks, I'm sure my pen will find itself on this road again.
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10 Years Ago
Thank you, you always leave me humbled and so very glad to have shared my work with you.
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Stats
609 Views
14 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 4, 2014
Last Updated on January 4, 2014
Tags: winter, snow, envy
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