Atlas Lives

My own feelings spun creatively. I intensely relate to the enduring allegory of Atlas.

Why do my bones yearn

For the very things that ache them?

This earth, beneath my feet

Erodes (ever shifting), giving not a moment of security.

While the sky... lies atop these calloused hands;

straddling my neck and shoulders,

affixing my head downwards.

Keeping it's wondrous glory

secret from despairing eyes.

Petite thoughts of the voluminous skies

I once roamed... an unguarded daydreamer.

Makes my burden swell, profoundly---

forcing me closer to the inflexible ground

on which my labored feet stand.

My knees complain as I stagger

on defeated hopes that have lost reason to fly.

The vibrant wings of imagination,

pinned--- to a concrete reality.

Suffering is all that embraces me here

and the gods shelter no pity.

Knowing of me...

Sisyphus counts himself amongst the lucky.

For I must endure (forever),

the weight of my failed ambitions

crushing me, bending my back to harsh actuality.

I am the fractured axis

upon which, dreams and reality converge.

It is between them,

with great unwavering strength,

that I must never say die---

And I live.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading. A special thanks to, Girl Friday (Sarah W.) for the idea of editing the format.

Reviews

[SyberRose]

Hopefully you don't have a Zeus in your life forcing you to hold the world and heavens upon your shoulders.
I enjoyed reading Travis...its nice to be young but young people do have a lot of pressures these days.
Sometimes they want too much too soon...have to be patient and I can tell you will succeed in your journey along the way...Rose:)...nicely crafted words.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for the lovely review, Rose. Thankfully, i don't have a Zues purposely punishing me. I'm sure one day i will shed the weight that i carry. Thank you for such supportive words.

[s y e]

This is a really strong write, PH - I really enjoyed it, if only we didn't have heaps of things on our shoulders holding us back from doing what we want. I guess it's a part of life.

~ Noodle.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

That it is, Noodle. Thank you for another great review of my work.

[TL Boehm]

WOW. Amazing. This is a strong resonant write. If only we could throw off the weight and fly.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for those motivating words, your review is most appreciated.

[Rogue]

This was a wonderful write. Responsibility can be weighty at times. Bit the need to strive and push forward can be even stronger.
Just don't push too hard, too fast or you'll burn out, my friend.

I enjoyed this. Very creative wordplay in this one. :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Rogue I always appreciate your views. I try not to push to hard, life has saw fit to make a fighter of me. You hit the message of this piece on the nose.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Brilliantly penned, splendid read and write.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, good friend. Your words are most appreciated.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

You are welcome.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Being a lover of mythology, I am very familiar with Atlas and his "punishment" to hold the "celestial sphere", spinning it every night in order to allow the constellations to cross the sky. You have used some really interesting imagery here, and I rather enjoyed the way that you brought all of the elements together.

Technically: I would like to see you do some work on the punctuation. There are too many elipses and dashes in odd places for my liking, and I think this could easily be turned into multiple stanzas to aid the flow. Don't normally do this, but I really liked the piece:

Why do my bones yearn
For the very things that ache them?

This earth, beneath my feet
Erodes, ever shifting,
Giving not a moment of security,
While the sky lies atop these calloused hands,
Straddling my neck and shoulders
Affixing my head downwards.

Keeping it's wonderous glory
Secret from despairing eyes --
Petite thoughts of the voluminous skies,
I once roamed (an unguarded daydreamer)
Make(ing) my burden swell, profoundly,
Forcing me closer to the inflexible ground
On which my labored feet stand.

My knees complain as I stagger
On defeated hopes that have lost reason to fly--
The vibrant wings of imagination
pinned to a concrete reality.

Suffering is all that embraces me here
And the gods shelter no pity--
Knowing of me, Sisyphus counts
Himself amongst the lucky,
For I must endure, forever.

The weight of my failed ambitions
Crush(es) me, bend(s) my back
to harsh actuality--
I am the fractured axis
Upon which, dreams and reality converge,
It is between them,
With great unwavering strength,
That I never say die--

And I live

Just an idea of what you could do with the punctuation and form of this one to make it a little easier in the read. Only thoughts... Overall, this was finely penned.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for such an elaborate and lovely review. I will go back and see where I can create better flow... the dashes are where I found cause for a pause in the read. I tend to avoid proper punctuation in my writes, due to the lack of proper, traditional sentences; even the captilization in this piece was done in error. lol But, I do respect and appreciate your opinions... thank you for the great suggestions.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I avoid punctuation as well...instead, I tend to write lines that have "natural" breaks, or can be broken with a comma. Dashes are great, but you can't overuse any device without making it seem out of place. I think you're doing amazingly well...it just takes time.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you again and I will overlook the piece to see where I can apply your suggestions. It was kind of a personal write, I tend to try to be done with them quickly as to not have to face them for very long. lol

[Rita L. Sev]

The weight of my failed ambitions
Crushing me...
With great unwavering strength
...I never say die---
And I live

We are so heavily weighed down by Life; it is too often overwhelming. Yet, we continue on, finding the strength we need to lift for just one more day - then another...

Outstanding write, Hero.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Rita. You are spot on and I appreciate your lovely review.

[quinfinn]

i love the Sisyphus reference within this cathartic and revealing piece. this is a wonderful write which demonstrates your intellect and creative process to exemplary proportions. well penned!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, my good friend. Your stellar review is humbling... i appreciate every word.

[quinfinn]

every word well deserved, dear poet.

[Sami Khalil]

"On which my labored feet stand,
My knees complain as I stagger
On defeated hopes that have lost reason to fly
The vibrant wings of imagination
pinned--- to a concrete reality "
I felt like Atlas was alive and well carrying in your persona the weight of reality ...Another great write of yours...:)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Sami. I appreciate your kind words.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure friend...:)

[ANTO]

I could picture this being found in the great library of Alexandria among the classics PH.
"Knowing of me...
Sisyphus counts himself amongst the lucky " - superb comparisons that educate (well - if you Google them lol) and I love that.
I suspect that writing is a joy but can also a bane to you - am i right?
anto

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

You are absolutely right, Anto. It's a great release, but also the avenue on which I must face my demons. Thank you for such an incredible compliment on this piece. I'm glad to know it was enjoyed.