The Apology

for my unborn son (Shakur)

i submit this apology

for never giving you the chance to breathe

before you developed fingers and toes

i foolishly made the choice that forced you to leave

you never got to feel the warmth of your mother

or tell her, "i love you"

without the slightest display of a stutter

your dreams were shattered

before they were even created

i snatched away your first words

before they were even stated

you didn't know the difference

between wrong and correct

i couldn't hug you goodbye

because your arms hadn't developed yet

a picture of your unnamed face

haunts my every dream...

but, all i can do is apologize

for never hearing your silent scream

Author's Note

This is not a poem for/against abortion. Simply my own experience. At 17, it was reported to my girlfriend and myself, that a medical complication was jeopardizing the health of the fetus, which then would do the same to her if carried full term. We made a choice, after closer examination, it was discovered the doctor's concerns were mistaken. I wrote this when i was 17.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

This is such a heartbreaking and honest piece. What a difficult choice for anyone, especially when you were so young. Poignant and heartfelt, your sincerity comes through in this write. I hope writing this has lightened your soul.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I wish I could say it has. I do appreciate your kind words and beautiful review.

[s y e]

Woah, this is a really powerful piece. I am so sorry that you both had to make that choice. It's terrible that he was wrong! It's really upsetting to hear that he was wrong. I couldn't imagine losing a baby or aborting a baby, I just couldn't do it. This was a really emotional, touching, powerful write.

~ Noodle.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Noodle. At the time, I shared the same thoughts. Unfortunately, we were told if the pregnancy went full term, we would risk losing her and the baby. My view of it then, was a selfish one. I didn't want to lose them both, because she had become all I had. While I did feel it was for the greater good, I wasn't ready to fully understand the fall out of such a choice.

[s y e]

It's a hard choice to make but as sad as it is to say, you can always have another baby but you'll never have her again. I think if I were in your position I have chosen to abort the baby, as bad as that sounds.

[Angi]

Oh wow. This is a powerful piece. I am so sorry that you both had to make this choice. How devastating to find out he was wrong! Powerful and cathartic writing. I lost my first baby by miscarriage 19 years ago. I still talk to that baby. I think she was a girl. Her name was Marie. Angi~

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for such a personal review, Angi. I know exactly how you feel in regards to your loss, which I am sorry to learn of. That decision is one of the few in my life, I would change if I could.