The Apology

for my unborn son (Shakur)

i submit this apology

for never giving you the chance to breathe

before you developed fingers and toes

i foolishly made the choice that forced you to leave

you never got to feel the warmth of your mother

or tell her, "i love you"

without the slightest display of a stutter

your dreams were shattered

before they were even created

i snatched away your first words

before they were even stated

you didn't know the difference

between wrong and correct

i couldn't hug you goodbye

because your arms hadn't developed yet

a picture of your unnamed face

haunts my every dream...

but, all i can do is apologize

for never hearing your silent scream

Author's Note

This is not a poem for/against abortion. Simply my own experience. At 17, it was reported to my girlfriend and myself, that a medical complication was jeopardizing the health of the fetus, which then would do the same to her if carried full term. We made a choice, after closer examination, it was discovered the doctor's concerns were mistaken. I wrote this when i was 17.

Reviews

[Sirius King]

wow this is deep, it tells the "other side of abortion" the one we never hear

thanks for sharing this powerful write

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks for coming thru and reviewing it. I appreciate your thoughts on the piece.

[Ink]

At the age of 17... Wow man, that's rough... I'm glad you had writing as an outlet to vent some of the emotions you must have been going through.

The emotion in this poem was heavy.. thanks for sharing something that isn't easy to share

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for those kind words. I appreciate your reading/reviewing my work.

[Sally Dinn]

there is no comfort or resolution for something that should not has happened.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Indeed.

[Marie Anzalone]

I have written extensively about rape and its aftermath. I was raped when I was 16, and got pregnant via the rape. My family forced me to have an abortion. I spent years trying to regain something lost in myself, something that I felf had been doubly stripped from me. Two things since then have made me stop and reconsider how awful I felt about it.

One, a young man the same age as the child I would have carried, came into my life, and accepted me as his "second mama" without question. We have a closeness that is uncanny and is life-fulfilling and as special as a mother-son relationship could be. The second was reading accounts by a famous female doctor, who is open to mind-body connections. She reports, in one of her books, a small child (maybe 3 years?) sitting with her mother, who had previously had an abortion when she was not in a situation to be a mom. The girl looked at her mom, and said, "Mom, the last time I knew you, I was about an inch long in your belly. You were not ready for me, so I waited around and came back when you were. I love you."

I have examined this issue form many sides, and honestly think the body is just a vessel for the soul. And it understands when we want to be in the best possible position to provide for it. I am convinced that the soul forgives our humanity.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, for the insightful words. I appreciate you reading my work and taking the time to give such a personal review.

[Marie Anzalone]

you are welcome.

[Vincent Moore]

Very raw indeed an a full impact of emotion let loose here brother, I felt it deeply, I was in the same situation when I was a teen and my gf and I had choices to make, we felt we chose wisely, or did we? Its been 40 years now and that little baby now a woman has never tapped at my door, I prayed she would be raised by a good family, I suppose she was. Bravo, great words.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, good friend.

[Stella Armour]

heartbreaking , what a dreadful decision to have to make.my heart goes out to you both...

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Stella... i appreciate your sentiment.

[gabrielle]

this is a heartbreaking write. i could not imagine really imagine myself to be on that situation. but what concerns me most is the author's note. medical negligence involving an innocent life is unacceptable. Very painful write yet eloquently expressed.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Its unacceptable indeed. I thank you for your wonderful thoughts on this peace.

[The Blood Poet]

Profound. Such a deep, raw, and soulful poem. So honest, truthful, painful, loving.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Storma. i do appreciate the visit and great review.

[Shaun Payton]

Heartwrenching. Man, just the heart sinks and feels this apology. Sad, powerful speaking to your son.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks for the review... your visit is always appreciated. In spite of the subject matter, i'm glad the emotion translates accurately to those who read it.

[Shaun Payton]

It does go straight to the heart Poetic.

[Sami Khalil]

A very heartbreaking story of sorts in a heartfelt poem. There is a great underlying message here...:)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for those kind words, my good friend.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...Any time...:)