Don't Forget Me(My Beloved)

wrote this after reading Pablo Neruda's, "If You Forget Me."

For you, my beloved

i wait... anticipating your return like the horizon does the sun

or stars do night

my heart waits for your heart

and my love waits for your love

each hoping, you don't forget

 

your return restores purpose to an existence

that your depature left bitter and frozen

life turned to stone... vivid colors to pitch black

my heart wants to know only you

 

so, if you have forgotten me

i will know nothing else

my interest in anything and everything

will crumble into the cold fold of a lifeless universe

 

without you here...

motivation becomes just another thing i had once

and i stand aside the cursed

arms of the damned can't reach hope

 

so, don't forget me...

my heart needs you to remember

my love needs you to remember

because neither can forget you

 

and until you remember,

i ask undelaying time for more of itself

negotiating with the creeping blackness

not to take my heart just yet

 

if any claim witness to your forgetful heart

i will strike down the notion with unrivaled swiftness

and escape to the secret valleys

where the cackling of ignorance

entertains my worrisome spirit,

as i retrace your steps in the places you loved me most

 

don't forget me... my lips repeat again and again

if they reach you, i don't know

but waiting is my task to endure

for you, my beloved

Author's Note

This was in no way a challenge to the aforementioned poet, this was inspired by his great piece. If you are unfamiliar with it, please give it a read. Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

This is beautifully moving. I found it to be very poignant and the longing and hope in the poem are tangible. It is a well written and emotion packed piece.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for another great review, you never cease to humble me. I'm glad you were able to connect with the emotion of this piece.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is the embodiment of an ode to one's "beloved". I am familiar with Neruda's piece, and I have to say that you have really delved deeply into the same crystal waters that he too has written from. Strength, poignancy, and even a bit of metaphorical resilience. Well done and well recieved.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for such a moving review. I can't begin to say how flattered I am and coming from such a great writer as yourself, is beyond humbling!

[Adora.xo]

"and until you remember,
i ask undelaying time for more of it's self
negotiating with the creeping blackness
not to take my heart just yet"

Very very well done! I absolutely love Pablo Neruda, and his works. His poetry is as thick and warm as honey, with poignant sensations. Your poetry is no less :) I loved this!

A quick tip though, there was one grammatical error I found that I thought I should point out, in the beautiful expert from your poem that I quoted above, the 'it's self' at the end of the second line should be 'itself'. :) Other than that, you're golden!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for such a profound compliment! I am at a loss for words. I will correct the error, thank you for spotting it. Extra help is always welcomed.

[gabrielle]

Neruda's "if you forget me" was the second poem i read from him (the first was "Sonnet XVII"). the theme of this piece may be similar to Neruda's but with different in approach. i must say that your piece is equally touching. wonderful!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so much for that humbling review. I also am thankful for the time taken to read my work.

[Friday]

Very well done. Emotional and acessible in language. I haven't read the piece you mention.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for such a kind review. I would suggest reading the piece mentioned above, it makes the motivation and intent of this piece clear.

[Friday]

Thanks. A poet from Chile? Is that right? Should be very interesting. Been spending too much time writing lately :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Yes, that is the one. You should enjoy his work. Writing is always a good thing, i'll be sure to read your work as well.

[QuietlyCrash]

So beautiful. I feel the thoughtfulness in your words and it's comforting. Even though it is a little sad and filled with longing there seems to be hope.
"don't forget me...my lips repeat again and again"
That's my favorite line of all. It's simple yet it's very powerful and it stands out to me. No one wants to slip out of someones thoughts when they are not around. We all want to make a lasting impression on someones life because not a person on this earth wants to be forgotten. This is a fantastic write, thanks for sharing with us :)
-Riley

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you so much for such a great review, Riley. I'm pleased you enjoyed. I was actually considering revising the one line that became your favorite. now, i think i will let it be... thanks for the in depth review, much thanks.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem. I like the line "don't forget me...." We will touch many people lives. I wonder often do they remember me? I like the flow of thoughts and the hope in the poem. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Coyote you continue to make me want to write great pieces. As always, your visit is most appreciated.

[Frieda P]

This takes a little bite of your heart and nibbles on it slowly...the waiting for love to surrender is always a bittersweet melancholy read, you've written it eloquently.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Frieda as always you words humble me greatly, i appreciate those wonderful words you've extended to me.

[Stella Armour]

so much longing here ph... lovely penning..

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Stella... i appreciate your visit.

[Peter H]

good write my friend , i remember a story about a woman turning to stone on a cliff waiting on her husband to return from war, this kinda reminds me of it

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks, Peter... sounds like a story worth reading. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece.