Hurricane Girl

Sometimes, it's the very thing that draws you to something that, ultimately tears you away from it.

there's an awkward feeling in the air...

a pause

so intense, it pulls even time in it's grasp

i see her... building

rage is filling her, like water can an empty glass

to the brim

she has become something extraordinary

raw power... without direction

for a brief moment i stand in awe

admittedly amazed

then it happens...

she takes motion

and the world around her--- bends

she easily rips through anything in her path

much like a buzzsaw would toothpicks

fear grips my heart and ego in an instant

i try to stand in spite of it all...

but she just laughs

the challenge has made her more reckless,

more destructive... i've never felt such power

it's inspiring---

how can one become so driven

so focused on a goal,

that nothing else matters

she is artfully vicious

her eyes glow with a passion to conquer

and she moves... like a hurricane

over everything in her way

remorse is gone from her

as she swings and thrashes about

she is now, in one word...

heartless

again, i try to stand

but i can't bare the intensity of her powers

even with my knees in the dirt...

i'm pushed further away

i lower my head head because i can no longer bare to watch

what once seemed so attractive...

is now utterly frightful

i slam my hands over my ears

in hopes they are enough to blockade

the sharp piercing sound of her ferocity

but fail, is all i succeed to do

the noise floods my skull

like my hands are made of paper

now, all i want is an end to this madness

she screams as she continues her rampage

such a sound--- such intensity

the energy from it washed over me

and left me with a small taste of what fuels her...

pain

she harbors an immense pain

for just a second, i was drenched by it

it must be what causes her to burn so brightly

only that can be the answer to the question...

what makes her capable of such destruction

then, mid-thought...

the noise came to a refreshing silence

i peel my hands from over my ears

i raise my head from my knees

i straighten out my spine

i even am able to stand---

and there i see her...

off in the distance, amid the rubble

i was pushed further away than i was aware of

from here i can see,

most of what surrounded her... is in ruin

and there she stands---

champion

its then my heart began to feel great sadness for her

because it was that very moment

i realized... maybe she realized it too...

that there was nothing left---

for her to enjoy

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. Let me apologize for my pen hand, sometimes it gets going and its hard to stop.

Reviews

[Adora.xo]

The imagery in this is incredible "from here i can see,
most of what surrounded her... is in ruin
and there she stands---
champion"

Your poetry is intense, but easy to read. You paint picture with your words that are tangible. The melancholy end to such a powerful sequence of events was perfect. A+

xoxo
-Adora

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you for that humbling review, Adora. I am pleased you enjoy that much. Thank you for taking time to relay your thoughts to me. I look forward to reading your work as well.

[Adora.xo]

It was my pleasure!

[Stella Armour]

i read her like an electric storm that attracts you as magnet.. but it burns you up inside it's energy until there is nothing but ashes left...very powerful penning which i enjoyed although it was sad...

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks for the review Stella, she absolutely attracted me like a magnet. Unfortunately, this piece reflects the ending result. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

[Stella Armour]

i did... :o)

[Marie Anzalone]

There is a Kenyan prverb I first heard from a fellow grad student, a beautiful young woman from Kenya. She was powerful and exremely driven and focused, like so many international students who come from backgrounds of grinding poverty. She knew exactly who she was and where she was going. She did her PhD while supporting her husband on a grad student teaching stipend, had one child when she came to the US, and gave birth to another while taking classes. And... she was warm, open, generous, kind to people. She was extremely intelligent, and often took long hours explaining mathematical concepts to us stuoid at math Americans, especially me, who had not taken a formal math class in 18 years.

The saying she told me was, "To go fast, travel alone. To go far, travel together." The opposite of what we US citizens tend to believe about the power of ruthless individuality. The antithesis of the woman you artfully describe here. Angelista now works for the Minstry of her country, and, from what I se on Facebook, loves her work, loves the people she works for.

I tis sad that we in the US and Europe have taken the good that is individuality and made into such a competetive spectator sport. We have, especally many talented and career-oriented women, come to beleive the lie that to get ahead, you have to be the last one standing. I had my own professional career torn down and destroyed by a woman exactly like you describe. What horrid, lonely lives. This hit me, hard. There are afew places where I think the rhythm could be improved, and I did notice one small spelling mistake: "bare the intenstiy" is "bear the intensity." Otherwise, a powerful write, thought-provoking subject, and wonderful imagery and metaphor. Kudos!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you... I appreciate you taking the time to give such an in depth review. First, I was going for a somewhat broken rhythm here; as to reflect the chaotic nature of the theme. I do thank you for spotting the typo as well. Thanks again for the review, I hope you find more of my work worthy of your time.

[Angi]

Such thrashing rage here. After her storm, I could see her standing there, exhausted. Shoulders slumped, defeated. Him still standing, apart from the wreckage. The last lines hold such shattering truth. I have known someone like this in my life. It is devastating. Angi~

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Wow... that was spot on, Angi. I appreciate you reading, but I'm more thankful for your insight. That is the exact image I was hoping to build, sometimes we don't notice the effects of our actions on those around us. Unfortunately, I lived these piece and can't bring myself to read it often. I'm most humbled by your review.

[Angi]

I have been there. Not with a love interest, but with my father. I felt this piece. Angi~

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Angi, again your insight is incredible. This was a love interest... I'm sorry you had to live this with your father.

[Angi]

It is a part of me and I wouldn't change it. I can only move forward. I hope you are out of the storm's reach. Have a lovely evening. Angi~

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I understand... and I am. You have a good night as well.

[Angi]

I was going to bed and then I read some more of your stuff. It's always that way in the Cafe! I never get any rest. There is always just one more piece to read. Gaaaa..

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

lol I'm learning the meaning of those words. Thanks for the time, it's most appreciated.

[Angi]

Are you very new here?

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I joined about a week or so ago.

[Angi]

Well then, welcome! You are doing well. I see you in the top writers box, already! Congrats!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, it's a humbling honor. I've come across incredible writers, all with their own styles and drives. I hope to learn much, while deepening my own work.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Excellent read and write. Captivated from beginning to end.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thanks for the great review, Brandon. Its good to know my pen hand's propensity for long writes isn't a bad thing.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

You are welcome. Look forward to reading more.

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I have more... though I do hesitate to post my long writes. lol

[Roopal]

i really loved it. i like the theme, the flow, the description, imagery and the way you bring out the hidden meaning of over ambition. really good !! :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, Roopal... i appreciate you reading and reviewing it. I'm glad you were able to enjoy it.

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write . I like this a lot...:)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you good friend. It means a lot coming from you.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure sir...:)

[suckmydick]

Great use of word choice. I can feel the emotion:)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you.

[Rogue]

Some hold a monster inside of them. An ugly thing that has no care for the people around it. It does not consider any part of anyone's life sacred. It does not care who it hurts. It has an ego bigger than life and will mow down in great bloodlust all that keep it from it's glory.
In time, with the right people full of patience and love and care.. You learn to lock it away. Of not for your own sake but for theirs. When that latch clicks into place, there is not only relief but calm and a measure of happiness begins to grow. Time to be who you were before that monster ruled your life. Time to really live again.

-grin-

Need I say I related well to this one?
Excellent piece!

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

Thank you, for those insightful words, Rogue. I unfortunately learned the lesson the hard way. I loved a woman very dearly, who had the "monster" you spoke of inside her. I wanted to be the saving grace to her torment, but the demons of my past only made things more complicated.